Scene 013 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (to Jim): Hey, you ready?Michael ScottOpen quote: All right, all right, secret sign. Hey, Ryan. (Ryan holds up his bag) Very good. Excellent, excellent.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael!
Scene 021 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Today at lunchtime we're going to be playing the warehouse staff at a friendly little game of basketball. My idea. Last time I was down there, I noticed they'd put up a couple of hoops, and I play basketball every weekend. So I thought, "This might be kinda fun." And so I started messing around and... I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! So... you know, it's really just a good friendly game, a reason to get together.
Scene 0316 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Pam, Pam, thank you ma'am. Messages, please. Thank you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael, can I talk to you, please? Privately? In your office? I think I should be on the team.Michael ScottOpen quote: No. And that's not me being mean, Dwight. That is based on your past behavior.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, please.Michael ScottOpen quote: (to camera) When I let him come to my pick-up game...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I apologized for that.Michael ScottOpen quote: (to Dwight) I vouched for you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael, I...Michael ScottOpen quote: I vouched for you in front of Todd Packer, Dwight. All right, here's what I'm going to do. The hand strikes and gives a flower. You are not going to play basketball. But I need somebody to come in and take over the holiday and weekend work calendar.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I can handle that.Michael ScottOpen quote: Good. Excellent, it'll be fun. Because corporate, uh, wants someone to be here on Saturday. And so we're going to have to have some people come in on the weekend, and I know nobody's gonna want to do it and I know everybody's gonna complain and bitch and I don't want to have to deal with that.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: And that's why you have an assistant regional manager.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes it is. Assistant to the regional manager.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (to camera) Same thing.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, it's not. It's lower, so...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It's close.
Scene 043 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: So we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that, that should be...Jim.Jim HalpertOpen quote: God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head. Phyllis, can you believe this?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Keep me out of it.
Scene 051 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: My fiance has plans for us this Saturday. So I really hope that Dwight doesn't make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him? I'm kidding, kidding. Totally kidding.
Scene 0612 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: All right, managing by walking around. This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Fine, don't worry about that.Michael ScottOpen quote: And here we have "Mister Roger's Neighborhood." Come on over here. Hey, this is Ryan. He's temping upstairs.LonnyOpen quote: What's up?Michael ScottOpen quote: And this is the foreman. Mista Ra-jahs.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: It's not my real name.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mista Ra-jahs.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Darryl Rogers?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mister Rogers.Michael ScottOpen quote: (laughs) And that is Lonny. And this is Roy. Roy dates Pam. You know, the uh, the best looking one upstairs.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Yeah, yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: You still getting it regular man? Huh? I mean, I can tell her it's part of the job! Rapport!
Scene 071 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: (on the phone) No, no, I know that the warranty's expired, but isn't it supposed to last longer than two years if it isn't defective? OK, fine, three years.
Scene 081 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: Pam gets a little down. Her toaster oven broke. Um, which she got at her engagement shower. Um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set... and that was three years ago.
Scene 097 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: So, um, one o'clock sharp and we've got a game on.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: We're loading at one.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, I see, you're chickening out on me. You're bailing on me.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: No, we got a truck going out at 1:15. So, that's the busy time.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, well, I'm glad that some time is a busy time because whenever I'm down here it doesn't seem too busy to me. Oh, oh. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. OK, fine, have it your way. (clucking and dancing like a chicken)Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: All right, fine, you know what? One o'clock.Michael ScottOpen quote: All right, see you at one.
Scene 1043 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Are we ready for the game?EveryoneOpen quote: (half-heartedly) Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: I... yeah, yeah. I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that, uh, dwarf from Lord of the Rings.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Gimli.Michael ScottOpen quote: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Just trying to be helpful.Michael ScottOpen quote: Uh, (in a nerdy voice) "I'll help, Elwyn Dragonslayer, uh, ten points, power sword."Jim HalpertOpen quote: That's him.Michael ScottOpen quote: OK, so, let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.Stanley HudsonOpen quote: I'm sorry?Michael ScottOpen quote: Um, what do you play? Center?Stanley HudsonOpen quote: Why "of course"?Michael ScottOpen quote: Uh...Stanley HudsonOpen quote: What's that supposed to mean?Michael ScottOpen quote: Uh, I don't know. I don't remember saying that.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Uh, I heard it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um... other starters... Me, of course. I heard it that time.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I'd like to play if it's just for fun. I played basketball in school.Michael ScottOpen quote: (ignores Phyllis)) Um... Yeah. Who else? We have Jim. We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart.Ryan HowardOpen quote: But, I'm getting paid to skip lunch?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes.Ryan HowardOpen quote: OK.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, this is business. The, uh, business of team building and morale boosting. Uh, who else?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: I can help out, if you need me.Michael ScottOpen quote: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I have a hoop in my driveway.Michael ScottOpen quote: No.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I have a sports bra.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, ridiculous.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael, look. (Dwight throws paper at the garbage can)Michael ScottOpen quote: Close. All right, uh... Me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yes!Michael ScottOpen quote: Sorry Phyllis.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Can I be team captain?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I'm team captain.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Can I be team manager?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Assistant team manager?Michael ScottOpen quote: No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: OK, we'll see who's working this weekend then.Michael ScottOpen quote: Jim, you're in charge of the vacation schedule now.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh my God.Michael ScottOpen quote: Threat neutralized.
Scene 1110 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (hits Pam in the head with a piece of paper) Off the backboard!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Please don't throw garbage at me.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, Pam with a zinger. Hey, Pam, how would you, like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some, ah, pigtails? A little, ah, halter top, you could tie that up. And you know, something a little, just, youthful, for a change. Just this once?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiance.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncey skirt if you want, and...Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, I bet you would. Just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, yeah right.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I'll do it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing. ... 'Cause we need you as an alternate in case somebody gets hurt. That's where we need you. Blessed be those who sit and wait. You made it, suit up, you're on the team! All right, cool! Very good.
Scene 129 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh-oh. Oh-oh. A spy from the warehouse. Trying to figure out our plays, huh, man?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Just getting a tea bag.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh ho, oh, he's running. He's running. He's running, but he can't hide because you know what? One o'clock, you better bring your 'A' game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Why don't we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley's.Michael ScottOpen quote: Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: No, that's not as much fun. You know what?Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: You're on.Michael ScottOpen quote: OK. Cool, you're on. (to Dwight) Don't screw this up.
Scene 141 lineAngela MartinOpen quote: Has anyone seen the first-aid kit? (Dwight holds the kit up) How many times have I told you? I'm the safety officer, not you.
Scene 151 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.
Scene 1612 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: You coming down?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, I'm just forwarding the phones.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You gonna wish me luck?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, you're gonna need it.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Whoa.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Is that trash talk from Pam?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (laughing) I'm just saying, Roy is very competitive.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: And he wants to take the WaveRunners to the lake this Saturday so...Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, I'm going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you wanna save big on brand names and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I think I'll see you at the mall. Yeah.
Scene 176 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey, there he is! Secret weapon! All right, guys, come on, let's bring it in! Here we go! OK, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke. OK, let's do it.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Have a good game man.Roy AndersonOpen quote: Yeah, you too. Should be fun.Michael ScottOpen quote: All right, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?Ryan HowardOpen quote: I stretched before I came.Michael ScottOpen quote: OK.
Scene 1819 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: OK, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Really? I thought I'd take Roy.Michael ScottOpen quote: Actually, I think Roy is their best player not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal. Uh, who else we got... Um...OK, all right, you guys.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (taking off his shirt) OK, we'll be skins!Michael ScottOpen quote: Aw, come on Dwight.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What? Shirts on or off?Michael ScottOpen quote: On. Just put it on.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You sure?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don't you do the uh, jump ball OK?Roy AndersonOpen quote: Don't listen to him Pam. Trust me, tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.Michael ScottOpen quote: Stanley! What? You gotta be kidding me! !?! (Roy steals the ball, and goes for a lay up) Oh... Here we go! (Lonny shoots and makes it) Who's on him? Somebody get him!TeammatesOpen quote: Yeah!Roy AndersonOpen quote: That's what I'm talking about.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over here, over here. (Jim saves the ball from going out of bounds and passes to Michael) Here we go. Three! (Shoots and misses) Let's go to the zone! We're going to zone!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: De-fense! (clap, clap) (Michael joins in) De-fense! (clap clap)Michael & DwightOpen quote: De-fense! De-fense!Warehouse workerOpen quote: (Roy scores) Well done team.Michael ScottOpen quote: Who's got Roy? (Jim does a behind the back move around Roy for the basket)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Woo!
Scene 191 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: (misses a half court shot) Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those. (Dwight scores) Dwight, I was open. All right, let's go.
Scene 203 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Roy bumps Michael to get around him) OK, foul. Charging. Charging. That's a foul.Roy AndersonOpen quote: OK.Michael ScottOpen quote: OK, I'll take it. (misses free throw) OK.
Scene 211 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: When I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone, I'm in the zone.
Scene 231 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know... I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.
Scene 245 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! Ryan, cut! (Michael looks away and misses Jim's pass) Whoa!Jim HalpertOpen quote: My bad.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: (scores) Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.LonnyOpen quote: (dancing) Where you at? Where you at? You over there? I'm over there.Michael ScottOpen quote: That is cool. Is that like the Robot?
Scene 254 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Ryan scores) Nice! Come here! (gives Ryan a chest bump)Ryan HowardOpen quote: Can we just do one? That's cool, that's fine.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.Roy AndersonOpen quote: All right, let's go.
Scene 266 linesWarehouse workerOpen quote: Watch your back Madge.MadgeOpen quote: Hey! Come on man!Michael ScottOpen quote: Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (scores) Yeah! (points to Madge) In your face!MadgeOpen quote: Yeah, like that counts.Michael ScottOpen quote: You know what? Dwight, Dwight...
Scene 271 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Football is like rock and roll, it's just bam-bam-boo... And basketball is like jazz, you know? You're kind of... Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It's all downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like... (singing) Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah...
Scene 286 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (singing) Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Harlem Globetrotter...Roy AndersonOpen quote: (steals the ball, scores, mimics singing) Du-du-du-du-dupee-do. Your ball.Michael ScottOpen quote: All right, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!Michael ScottOpen quote: What's going on? What's going on? You're playing like a bunch of girls.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You know what? Let me take Roy.Michael ScottOpen quote: All right, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.
Scene 291 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Shoot, shoot it. (Roy hits Jim in the mouth with his elbow) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression! Oh, that is... You all right Jim? Suck it up.
Scene 303 linesDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: Block, block, block!MadgeOpen quote: He's afraid of you now.Michael ScottOpen quote: (Jim makes a shot after pushing off Roy) Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?
Scene 314 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Jim pushes Roy to the ground and makes another shot) Yes!Roy AndersonOpen quote: What the hell man?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Take it easy.Roy AndersonOpen quote: No, you take it easy.
Scene 333 linesRyan HowardOpen quote: (Dwight steals the ball from Ryan) Same team, Dwight.Michael ScottOpen quote: Dwight!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (scores) Yes!
Scene 3430 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Phyllis scores) Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In, your, face! Angela, what's the score?Angela MartinOpen quote: You're ahead.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, baby, here we go!Michael ScottOpen quote: (Jim has the ball) Jim! Jim! Right here! (runs into the elbow of the guy guarding him) Ow! God! Hold it!WorkerOpen quote: I'm sorry.Michael ScottOpen quote: Foul! Foul!WorkerOpen quote: I'm sorry. You all right?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, that hurts.WorkerOpen quote: Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.Michael ScottOpen quote: What's your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Take your shot man!Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.WorkerOpen quote: No it wasn't.Michael ScottOpen quote: (mocking voice) Yes, it was. You know what, I'm just being fair.WorkerOpen quote: Oh, really? No, I just put my arm up...Michael ScottOpen quote: Game over. Game over. That is it! I'm sorry, you know? I hate to do it this way but, you know, that's just... we're having a friendly game. It's a shame. This is a damn shame, but we're like a family here and that just, that won't fly.Angela MartinOpen quote: This is a cold pack...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Here, give me that. You have to break the interior bag. (bag explodes)Michael ScottOpen quote: Thanks Dwight.LonnyOpen quote: Wait, what does that mean? What is it, a tie? What's going on?Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, let's just say whoever was ahead won.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: That was you.Michael ScottOpen quote: It was us? Really? I didn't, I didn't know. Great, I mean, I guess you guys are working Saturday. Your face.Roy AndersonOpen quote: No, no, no, I'm not coming in on Saturday.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Yeah, this isn't happening.Michael ScottOpen quote: Um... well, you guys, you know, I'm the boss so...LonnyOpen quote: So what's that? We're coming in on Monday, right?Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey, hey...LonnyOpen quote: Monday?Michael ScottOpen quote: (laughing) You guys believed me? Come on. Dogs, you know, you should know me better than that. No, oh, do you think that would've been good for morale? No. No. No. Exactly, no. I'm embarrassed it was even that close though. So... nah, of course, we're coming in Saturday. Good game. Word.
Scene 358 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: (to Pam) ...so I talked to the scout, it looks good.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Mmm-hmm.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I didn't sign anything.Roy AndersonOpen quote: Hey baby.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey.Roy AndersonOpen quote: (to Jim) Look at Larry Bird. Larry Legend.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, he's, uh, pretty good, huh? (to Roy) Let's get you into a tub.Roy AndersonOpen quote: Yeah? Let's get you into a tub.
Scene 363 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey, what a game, huh? What a game.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: What time do we have to come in?Michael ScottOpen quote: Come on. Let's not be gloomy here man. We're all in this together. We're a team. You know what? Screw corporate, nobody's coming in tomorrow. You have the day off. Like coming in an extra day is gonna prevent us from being downsized. Have a good weekend.
Scene 371 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. But we did because we were ahead.