Every Line from The Office

I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, and I think it's because they see me as one of them. But cooler, and with my life put together a little bit. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war. There would be no government, and things could get terrible. It actually, probably - it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion.

Michael

Every line from every episode. Click an episode to browse quotes, or use search to find that one line you can't quite remember.

Part 1

Season 1

Part 2

Season 2

Part 3

Season 3

Part 4

Season 4

Part 5

Season 5

Part 6

Season 6

Part 7

Season 7

Part 8

Season 8

Part 9

Season 9

From the Editors

About Best Office Lines

Best Office Lines has every line from every episode of The Office. Search for quotes, browse by episode, or share your favorites as images.

From Michael Scott's cringeworthy wisdom to Dwight's bizarre statements, Jim's witty remarks to Pam's heartwarming lines — it's all here. Settle a debate about who said what, or just share a laugh with fellow fans.