Every Line from The Office

Well I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. Jim, you're 6'11 and you weigh 90 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela where's Angela? [Angela raises her hand] Whoa there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley is laughing] Oscar, you're gay.

Michael

Every line from every episode. Click an episode to browse quotes, or use search to find that one line you can't quite remember.

Part 1

Season 1

Part 2

Season 2

Part 3

Season 3

Part 4

Season 4

Part 5

Season 5

Part 6

Season 6

Part 7

Season 7

Part 8

Season 8

Part 9

Season 9

From the Editors

About Best Office Lines

Best Office Lines has every line from every episode of The Office. Search for quotes, browse by episode, or share your favorites as images.

From Michael Scott's cringeworthy wisdom to Dwight's bizarre statements, Jim's witty remarks to Pam's heartwarming lines — it's all here. Settle a debate about who said what, or just share a laugh with fellow fans.