Scene 013 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey. Ready? Come on, show me excited!Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Yes. (small fist-pumps from both Pam and Oscar.)Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, I'm pretty excited too.
Scene 021 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Today I'm heading over to the job fair at Valley View High School, to find some new interns. Want to get some fresh blood. Um, euthanize this place.
Scene 0313 linesDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: Hey, are we doing this thing?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yup.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Oh my God, Darryl, you look like Barack Obama. Everybody I'm dating Barack Obama!Michael ScottOpen quote: Why are you dressed like that?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: (in a dress shirt and tie) Like what?Michael ScottOpen quote: Like you're applying for a loan.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Maybe he's going to church. Or court.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Figured I look presentable. (looks Michael over) You? (Michael dressed casually in jeans and sneakers) Went a different way.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (to Darryl) I think you look nice.Michael & DarrylOpen quote: (simultaneously) Thank you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, here's what we're going to do: I'm going to instruct the kids about management and sales. Oscar will be in charge of accounting. Pam will be eye candy. No... uh, also, because that is your alma mater. Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse. We don't have to worry about internships with them, because they definitely ain't going to college.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: What college did you go to Mike?Michael ScottOpen quote: Let's go!
Scene 041 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: Today, I am meeting a potential client on the golf course, because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan, he was the temp here. Yeah. And uh, it is not a good time for me to lose my job. Since I have some pretty big long term plans in my personal life with Pam, that I'd like her parents to be psyched about. So I am about to do something very bold at this job that I've never done before. Try.
Scene 057 linesPhil MaguireOpen quote: (takes golf swing) Whoa!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Mr. Maguire, it's been a couple of years.Phil MaguireOpen quote: Hey Jim, how are you, nice to see you man.Andy BernardOpen quote: Oh no! No, no-no-no-no! My grandfather would be spinning in his urn, if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy. You take that shirt off right now or I will take it off for you, sir. I am... totally and completely kidding! (they both laugh) Andrew Bernard, Cornell '95.Phil MaguireOpen quote: Phil Maguire, Dartmouth, '74 (goes to shake Andy's hand)Andy BernardOpen quote: Oop, got some blisties.Phil MaguireOpen quote: Yeah, you do.
Scene 061 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: Hit about 1200 balls last night, in preparation for today, so hands are a little tender. (shows blisters on both hands) It's actually not funny at all. It's incredibly painful.
Scene 073 linesPhilOpen quote: Let's make it interesting, say, uh, ten bucks a hole?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Great!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: What are we talking? Skins? Acey Duecy? Bingo bango bongo? Sandies, Barkies? Arnies, Wolf? What?
Scene 081 lineKevin MaloneOpen quote: I'm gonna take this petty cash I got from Oscar, and turn it into next month's rent.
Scene 091 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: So many memories in this old gym. Pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball, pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball. Those were the days!
Scene 106 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Darryl approaches as students throw basketballs) A little over the top, don't you think?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Show them what you brought, Mike.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (holds up single sheet of paper) Um, that's all we brought.Michael ScottOpen quote: This is all we need.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: We'll see.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes we will see Oscar, we will see, because a blank sheet of paper equals endless possibilities! Conceptual! All right! We. Are. Open for business! (all four of them sit in an empty booth with small Dunder Mifflin sign) Hello!
Scene 112 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Andy, you're up, let's go!Andy BernardOpen quote: (gushing lotion inside his golf gloves) Giddy up, let's do this.
Scene 121 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: People assume I'm great at golf. But like everybody, I hated golf lessons when I was a kid. So, I used to hang out at the sailing club instead. Got my "knot" on.
Scene 146 linesMeredith PalmerOpen quote: Guys, do we have to stay all day?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I mean, Michael's gone, can't we just go?Creed BrattonOpen quote: Yeah, and I finished my work months ago!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Excuse me, people. It has come to my attention, some of you have forgotten, who is in charge here. When Michael is gone... Jim is in charge. When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge. When Andy is gone you answer to me. Okay? (Stanley gets up to go) Excuse me where do you think you're going? Oh no, no, no. You're not leaving. No! Stanley, do not walk out that door! If you walk out that door, so help me, I will - (Stanley leaves) He left. Last time I checked, the American workday ends at five pm. You will all stay at your desks until that time. Or, you will suffer the consequences.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: What consequences?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I will tell on you.
Scene 1519 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: There's some filing, restocking the supply shelves. Replacing the water jug, which nobody likes to do. Um, we... uh, eat a lot of cake!JustinOpen quote: Cool.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (laughs) Yeah, and uh, you basically learn how an office runs.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hello. Hi. (to Pam) Can I talk to you for a sec? Excuse me.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: This is Michael, my boss. (she points) Justin.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey, uh, remember what we talked about, in the car on the way up, "only the best and the brightest."Pam BeeslyOpen quote: He's nice and he seems interested.Michael ScottOpen quote: He's totally wrong, Pam. (to Justin) Hey.JustinOpen quote: Hi.Michael ScottOpen quote: How you doing? Listen, I don't think that a handsome, funny, smart, funny-looking kid like you, should limit himself. You could do whatever you want to do. You could be a classy janitor, or a cashier with dignity, or a... migraine worker. (takes back the info flyer Justin holds) Maybe for you, paper should be more of a hobby.JustinOpen quote: Sorry for wasting your time.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, no problem. (looks down) And he signed! He put his name on the piece of - okay, that was supposed to be a blank canvas on which to put their hopes and dreams. And he just, made it into a stupid piece of paper. We need another one, immediately.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Yeah, the booth is lame without it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I only brought the one.Michael ScottOpen quote: Are you mental?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Michael, do you remember, you specifically told me to only bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. And I said, "Are you sure Michael?" And you said "Pam! Pam! Pam!" And then you sneezed in my tea, and then you said, "Don't worry, it's just allergies." Do you remember that?Michael ScottOpen quote: I... don't.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay. I'll go look for another one. (she leaves)Michael ScottOpen quote: And that. Is why. I need a smart intern.
Scene 165 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: Hey, so how's the direct mail business going?PhilOpen quote: I can't complain, people love their junk mail.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Now are you getting all your paper from PPC? Or-PhilOpen quote: You know what Jim? I'm not really looking to change things up right now, I just came out here to get out of the office for a little bit, so why don't we just play, okay?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Absolutely, will do.
Scene 186 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (teen approaches table) Hello there.KidOpen quote: What is this company?Michael ScottOpen quote: Well it's funny that you should ask, because it's really more than a company...Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Dunder Mifflin paper.KidOpen quote: Thanks. (walks away)Michael ScottOpen quote: Dammit, Oscar!
Scene 191 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth, but uh, kids are very wary about being "lured" these days. Thank you Dateline!
Scene 206 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Thank you. (hangs up phone, leaves for restroom)Angela MartinOpen quote: Extension 128.Creed BrattonOpen quote: (over phone) Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed.Creed BrattonOpen quote: Say, we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in?Angela MartinOpen quote: No.Creed BrattonOpen quote: Are you out? (Angela hangs up) Pumpkin's out, let's go gang! (they all make a run for the door, Dwight re-enters room with only Angela left)
Scene 211 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: My old art room. (finds a sheet of blank paper) Oh, maybe it's still here! (looks for her painting) No. No they must have taken it down. Never mind.
Scene 224 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (answers cell) What do you want?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael, I know you're swamped. I just thought you should know that everyone in the office has left, except for Angela and I. Do not worry though, I have taken down their names, and I have docked them a personal day.Michael ScottOpen quote: Who cares? I'm not there, Jim's not there, why should they have to be there?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: So... what else is up? (Michael hangs up) Mich-
Scene 238 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Thank you! (Pam hands him blank paper) What, what is this?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: A piece of paper.Michael ScottOpen quote: This isn't Dunder Mifflin paper. Some sort of Pendleton crap.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Well I think they'll get the spirit of it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Pam-Pam-Pam-Pam-PamPamPamPam! We're dying here. I want you to go back to the office and I want you to get the real stuff. I want you to get ultra white card stock.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Are you serious?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes. And don't call me Shirley.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay.
Scene 244 linesPhilOpen quote: Oh! (Phil is stuck in the sand trap) Ah, dammit!Jim HalpertOpen quote: You know, you can just pick it up, take the triple bogey.PhilOpen quote: Yeah I'll- I'll get it out. Thank you.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yep. (Maguire keeps swinging)
Scene 251 lineAngela & DwightOpen quote: (silently working) (Pam walks back into office, gets paper out of the copier, shows it "voila" to camera, leaves)
Scene 2613 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: (Jim's cellphone rings) AH! Come on, Tuna!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Hey, can't really talk now, what's up?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Just checking in, how's it going?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Uh, you know, we'll see, we'll see.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I just drove twenty miles round-trip back to the office to get Michael a single sheet of white paper. So, I could have just had them fax it to me, I guess.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, I like you.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Talk to you later?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah. All right. Bye. (Kevin sinks putt) All right. Sorry, I got to annoy you one more time. What if I bring down shipping costs?PhilOpen quote: You can try. But I've looked at your prices. Even with free shipping? Doesn't work. It's just- it's not in the stars, Jim. (Phil sinks putt) Six.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yeah.Andy BernardOpen quote: All right, race to the next hole! (he runs off to the cart)Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Ooh! Winner gets ten bucks! Wait -wait for me! Andy!Andy BernardOpen quote: Shortcut! Shortcut! (drives cart off course, it flips over) Woah! I fell in the sandtrap!
Scene 281 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: All of these jobs? Suck. I would rather live jobless, on a beach somewhere, off the money from a large inheritance, than to have to work in any one of these crap-holes. They suck.
Scene 291 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey! (walks up to Oscar and Darryl tossing basketballs, grabs Oscar's ball) Game over. (kicks the ball up to the gymnasium ceiling)
Scene 305 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (singsong) Just-in time.JustinOpen quote: Hi.Michael ScottOpen quote: Just-in case. What's your last name?JustinOpen quote: Polznik.Michael ScottOpen quote: This... just in. Justin Polznik! Huh?
Scene 311 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Justin is the ugly girl in the movie, who takes off her glasses and she's hot! And you realize she was always hot, she was just wearing glasses. And that you were the blind one. He's the most... important thing in my life right now.
Scene 3214 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: I want you to meet my family. Come on. Oscar Martinez. Accountant extraordinaire. This is Justin.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Hey.JustinOpen quote: Hi.Michael ScottOpen quote: This is Darryl Philbin. Isn't he big? And you already met her, Pam Beesly, office hottie. She will "do" you. (laughs) No, no. But she has already dated two guys in the office, that we know of, so, this could be number three, you never know?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Excuse me.Michael ScottOpen quote: Come here. I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Why, why wouldn't you say that to her face?Michael ScottOpen quote: So, what do you think? Think these guys are nice? The guys I didn't bring are even better. Justin, I'm willing to commit right now. Would you do me the honor, of spending the summer with us, at Dunder Mifflin? I think, I think you are very special.JustinOpen quote: You didn't want me before. That's what you said.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I didn't. You misconstrued me.JustinOpen quote: You were kind of a jerk to me.Michael ScottOpen quote: I, uh, hmm.JustinOpen quote: And I'm, I'm gonna go now.Michael ScottOpen quote: Why don't... hey.
Scene 331 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: (trying to pick up a beer bottle with blistered hands, struggles trying to take a drink as everyone watches.)
Scene 343 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: (tries to stop a sneeze) Ah-choo!Angela MartinOpen quote: Bless you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Thank you. (Angela turns to look at him.)
Scene 3510 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Okay, Jim, you owe me one-twenty, and Phil, you owe me two-thirty.PhilOpen quote: Let's open a tab, because you and me are gonna be playing more often.Andy BernardOpen quote: Count me in!PhilOpen quote: No.Andy BernardOpen quote: All right!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay. You had some fun, and uh, I think I paid for it. So let me get my last shot in there. Is there anything you can do for me?PhilOpen quote: I'll tell you what. My fiscal year ends in two months, let's talk then. Sound good?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Absolutely.MaguireOpen quote: Good playing with you guys.Andy BernardOpen quote: Right on.
Scene 361 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: You know it's a tough thing, seeing a grown man take six shots to get out of a sand trap but, I had to give Phil credit for not quitting. Which is what I told him. I also told him I don't quit either, and I'd call him every single day until he gave me his business. Which he then did, after ...fifteen minutes of me blocking his car. So I am now his paper supplier! And I shot a 102 today, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Scene 372 linesWoman on micOpen quote: The job fair will be closing in five minutes. Eighth period will commence as scheduled.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hold down the fort, I have to do something. (walks up to microphone) Excuse me. If you can hear me, I'd like you to look around at all these companies and know that none of them are good enough for you. H&R Block? Come on, I mean I don't even know what they do. Frank Regan Funeral Home? Too much formaldehyde! The Air Force? (Airforce recruiter glares at Michael) Air Force is cool. The refreshments? Bush league! You know, that's not what you want. Dunder- they, well, okay I see security is coming so I just want to say, come to Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin, a great place to work! Anybody? Show of hands, anybody want to intern at Dunder Mifflin? We do not offer college credit, we cannot give you any sort of pay, but it is a really fun work environment. Anybody? Show of hands? Damn... it. Okay, I'm gonna wrap it up here. Thank you for your time, and drive safe.
Scene 382 linesAngela MartinOpen quote: (Dwight and Angela exiting, he opens door for her) Thank you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You're welcome.
Scene 397 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (clink of beer bottles) Beers? You closed it?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I closed it!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yes! Oh! (runs into his arms, kisses him) Um, congratulations to you, sir. (they shake hands business-like)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Thank you. Oh, thank you very much. Appreciate it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Well done.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Thank you. You know what, screw this! (pulls Pam into a big smooch)Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Oooh! (Kevin and Andy add suggestive "bow-chicka-wow-wow" vocals)
Scene 401 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Today I did something stupid. I questioned myself. And I will never do that again. Because I look at somebody like Jim Halpert and I think, that guy can do anything he wants to do. He could do anything, and he chooses to work here, selling paper. Just like me.
Scene 411 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: (standing way too close to Jim and Pam) Yeah, kiss her. Kiss her good. (Jim and Pam stop kissing)
Scene 4221 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Hi.Graphics guyOpen quote: Hello.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I was just wondering, what kind of jobs do you guys have?Graphics guyOpen quote: Are you interested in graphic design?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah. Can I fill out an application?Graphics guyOpen quote: Oh absolutely, here, take a seat. I should let you know right away, this is just an entry-level job. It's really basic. We're looking for like, a self starter, someone who can meet deadlines, who just pretty much just go the extra mile, I guess.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I can do that.Graphics guyOpen quote: Great. And uh, obviously looking for someone who knows Photoshop, and Dreamweaver. Uh, Corel Painter, Illustrator, AfterEffects, all the basics.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I don't know any of those.Graphics guyOpen quote: (laughs) It's actually not super-complicated. I mean I'm sure there's some sort of like, adult education classes in the area. But if you're really serious about graphic design, one thing about New York or Philadelphia, they've got amazing programs out there for design.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: New York or Philadelphia.Graphics guyOpen quote: Yeah.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: All right. Cool, well... thanks.Graphics guyOpen quote: Sure.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: And uh, I'll look into those.Graphics guyOpen quote: You should.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: New York or Philadelphia.Graphics guyOpen quote: Absolutely.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay.Graphics guyOpen quote: It's where the action is.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Thanks.