Scene 011 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: (driving past a line of Mexican men looking for work) Hola, hola. Necesito une bueno worker. Tu esporte! Come on! (man walks away) Que? QUE?
Scene 028 linesMexican ManOpen quote: (speaking Spanish)SonOpen quote: We don't go with that man. I've seen several men go with that man and not come back.Mexican ManOpen quote: (speaking Spanish)SonOpen quote: We've lost friends.Mexican ManOpen quote: (speaking Spanish)SonOpen quote: We don't know what he does with them.Mexican ManOpen quote: (speaking Spanish)SonOpen quote: I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Scene 031 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: I pick up day laborers and tell them they'll get paid at six p.m. At five forty five, a certain INS agent by the name of Mose Schrute throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.
Scene 0410 linesNate NickersonOpen quote: Hola amigo.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hola, tu es une buena worker?Nate NickersonOpen quote: Si, yo muy bueno worker.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Y el accento, donde are you from?Nate NickersonOpen quote: Scranton, y before that La Philadelphia.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You speak English?Nate NickersonOpen quote: Yes, I'm really good at English.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ok, good. Me too, get in the car.Nate NickersonOpen quote: (quietly) Okay.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (nods to camera)
Scene 0521 linesAngela MartinOpen quote: (seeing the worker Dwight picked up in the parking lot) Who's this guy by our cars?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: That is my new maintenance worker, Nate. And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of that hornet's nest that you've been griping about.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Yeah, I got stung up my dress.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Poor hornet.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (looking outside through the window) I left him all the tools he needs. This is do or die. If he chooses correctly he'll conquer the hornets...Ryan HowardOpen quote: But if he doesn't?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: He'll die.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: What?Andy BernardOpen quote: Uhh, beg your pardon?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: When did the phrase do or die become so corrupted?Nate NickersonOpen quote: (picks up blowtorch)Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Is that a blow torch?!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No. No no no! (nos coming from all employees)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Interesting choice...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (Nate starts walking away from hornet's nest, puts down the blowtorch) Yes!Andy BernardOpen quote: Very very smart.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, go away. (Kelly nodding)Nate NickersonOpen quote: (picks up baseball bat, heads towards hornet's nest)Employees except DwightOpen quote: No! No no!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: A bat! Impressive...Andy BernardOpen quote: Oh it's stinging him! Ow! Ow! (yelling all around the office)
Scene 062 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (walks into the office with a large, fake mustache on) Good morning Erin, any mustaches? I mean messages?Erin HannonOpen quote: (giggles) Terrific!
Scene 071 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. (spinning in chair) He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise! He loves... other things as well.
Scene 085 linesPhyllis VanceOpen quote: (seeing a large red spot on Michael's lip) God! Wow!Michael ScottOpen quote: (shying away) Look, (sighs) It's a pimple Phyllis. Avrile Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: That's no pimple Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: You mean cancer?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What? No! Wait, no. Definitely not cancer.
Scene 091 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: It's just good to stop a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.
Scene 1019 linesMeredith PalmerOpen quote: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a cold sore.Michael ScottOpen quote: It is?Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Yup, just a cold sore.Michael ScottOpen quote: Just a cold sore, thank you. Phyllis, I don't have acne. I have a cold sore. I don't even have a cold. I don't know how I got it.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I know how you got it. (smug expression on his face)Michael ScottOpen quote: How?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Michael come on. A cold sore is herpes.Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Wait! What you should do, Michael, is have a doctor take a look at it. Because we really don't know what that is.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. I have it myself. That's what it is.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I never seen herpes on you.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Because it's on my genitals, genius.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: You have a penis?Andy BernardOpen quote: Michael, have you ever been tested for STDs?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah! My last physical when I was forty.Jim HalpertOpen quote: That was like, ten years ago.Michael ScottOpen quote: No! It was like four years ago!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Michael, you're at least forty six!Michael ScottOpen quote: Why at least? If you're guessing forty six just say forty six. (later in his office, places a band-aid over his cold sore)
Scene 116 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: Can we please talk about how gross Meredith is?Angela MartinOpen quote: This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.Andy BernardOpen quote: You know what guys, why don't we just chill out on this herp-chat. Ok? I was an REA in college and I can tell you, number one sexually transmitted disease is ignorance.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: I guess maybe you should go marry a meth dealer with crabs.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: I don't even wanna know these things!Meredith PalmerOpen quote: (walking in) Hey guys! (Angela leaves the table, exhales as she exits the room)
Scene 1213 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: How did this happen, how did I get this?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Some eggs can rely dormant in a woman for years, they may not even know they have it.Michael ScottOpen quote: You know what, I feel like one of those old timey sailors. With the eye patch. (in pirate voice) It's me own damn fault. Woman in every port.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What port? The Jan port. The Holly Por...Michael ScottOpen quote: Don't even! Holly was clean! Okay? If anything I gave it to her.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You may have...Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh my God! What if I did?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You need to contact Holly! You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay! You know what? Might! Might be crawling with herpes. I might have gotten it after her.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You need to contact every woman you've been with, and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do.Michael ScottOpen quote: There's no way I'm gonna do that.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Then I will.Michael ScottOpen quote: (makes grunt in attempt to stop Dwight. Dwight hangs up)
Scene 131 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.
Scene 1415 linesDonnaOpen quote: (on phone) Hello?Michael ScottOpen quote: Hi Donna. It's Michael.DonnaOpen quote: Michael, I didn't think I'd here from you. How have you been?Michael ScottOpen quote: I have a disease, for which there is no known cure, that has been sexually transmitted to me.DonnaOpen quote: Oh no.Michael ScottOpen quote: I can't even say it. H-I...DonnaOpen quote: Oh my God.Michael ScottOpen quote: ...R-P-E-E-SDonnaOpen quote: Wait, you're calling to tell me that you have herpes?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I am calling to see if you gave me herpes. Because if you did I would be able to avoid a lot of sucky conversations. So you have it right?DonnaOpen quote: Ummm, no.Michael ScottOpen quote: Does your stupid husband have it?DonnaOpen quote: No! He doesn't. Are you telling me I have to get tested?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes I am telling you you have to get tested for herpes. Good-bye!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: So long Donna! (Michael hangs up)
Scene 1512 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Excuse me everyone, can I have your attention please?Stanley HudsonOpen quote: Not again...Andy BernardOpen quote: What do you mean again?Stanley HudsonOpen quote: You're always asking for our attention.Andy BernardOpen quote: Maybe like a year ago...Stanley HudsonOpen quote: Seems recent.Andy BernardOpen quote: No, that's...Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Andy, the reason it seems more recent is because many of us here have never stood up and asked for everyone's attention, and it seems like you've done it on several occasions.Andy BernardOpen quote: Everyone, I've noticed that we have not been entirely kind to one of our own, due to stigmas and prejudices.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Oh! When you got your new phone, that's when you asked for everyone's attention.Stanley HudsonOpen quote: (agreement around the office) That's what I was thinking, you kept announcing scores.Andy BernardOpen quote: It's the world's only international sport! (sits down)
Scene 1612 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: (on phone) This is Holly.Michael ScottOpen quote: No this is Holly.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No this is Holly.Michael ScottOpen quote: No this is Holly.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No, this is Michael Scott.Michael ScottOpen quote: Busted. So what can I do for you Holly.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I am calling because, there's a terrible crash!Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh really? Was anyone killed?Holly FlaxOpen quote: A lot of people.Michael ScottOpen quote: Any nuns?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Three nuns, (Michael laughs) from a Missionary in South Africa.Michael ScottOpen quote: (Dwight looks confused to the camera) Were they in the missionary position? (Holly laughs)
Scene 171 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: (singing) Ba na na na na. Hot pizza, check it and see. Ba na na na. Got a whole bunch of pepperoni. Ba na na na na. (stops singing) Yeah, now you're looking at me. Anyone who's interested in entering into an honest discussion about the sexual mores and taboos of modern society will be rewarded with a pizza break.
Scene 1820 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (still on phone with Holly) Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you hadn't been transferred?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: We would have twins. (Dwight points towards the corner of his lip, indicating Michael's "herpes")Holly FlaxOpen quote: I don't think we'd have kids.Michael ScottOpen quote: Mmhmm!Holly FlaxOpen quote: It was just for a few weeks!Michael ScottOpen quote: Mhhmm! We would be married.Holly FlaxOpen quote: (sternly) Michael, I have been dating A.J. for a year and a half now. You do this you know.Michael ScottOpen quote: Do what?Holly FlaxOpen quote: You romanticize things.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't romanticize th- (Dwight nodding and mouthing 'Yes you do') No...Holly FlaxOpen quote: Michael, you cried at that tagline for a movie you made up.Michael ScottOpen quote: He had no arms or legs, he couldn't hear see, or speak... This is how he let a nation.Holly FlaxOpen quote: You made ourselves to be more than we were.Michael ScottOpen quote: We were more than we were.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I don't know what you're getting so upset about, we had to break up a long time ago, it was a good memory.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok, alright I gotta go.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Michael... (Michael hangs up)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (to the camera) He forgot to mention the herpes.Michael ScottOpen quote: It didn't come up organically.
Scene 191 lineJan LevinsonOpen quote: (to a client) ...to accommodate the, uh, suppliers. (Seeing Michael and Dwight) Gentlemen! Nice to see you, it'll be just a moment. If you could show them into Conference Room B. (to client again) The pharmaceutical aspects should be able to...
Scene 201 lineJan LevinsonOpen quote: How do I do it? Raise my daughter, work as director of office purchasing for this hospital and release an album of Dorris Day covers on my own label? If I knew I'd tell you.
Scene 2116 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: It's nice to see you doing so well.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Yeah I'm really happy. Me and Astrid against the world. (laughs) We're loving it, yeah. I'm kind of a supermom.Michael ScottOpen quote: Bringing home the bacon.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Yeah. (singing) Fry it up in a pan. Never never never let you forget... (laughs) I love that commercial.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I don't understand the reference.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well, Michael, it was nice to get your call.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: We had to come over right away, it's urgent. Michael has something to tell you. (Michael shushes him)Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Are you gonna keep me in suspense? (Michael sighs)Michael ScottOpen quote: (after long wait, to Dwight) Would you excuse us...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ok I'm gonna head outta here, I know you have a lot to talk about. Ok, is there a, an operating theater that's open to visitors? Never mind I'll find it.Michael ScottOpen quote: He hasn't changed.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: No, so what couldn't wait?Michael ScottOpen quote: Am I the kind of person to misremember our relationship as more than it ever was?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Michael Scott, you are here for a post mortem.Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: You wanna dig into our relationship, go over it, see what killed it. Ok, I'm in.
Scene 227 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: So, guys. I've been really bothered by the way certain people are getting treated around here, and I just think as an office we're better than that. Ok, now I'm going to show you a picture of genitalia. (grossed our remarks from around the office as Andy holds p a picture of a nude man)Erin HannonOpen quote: Andy...Andy BernardOpen quote: What, is it because he's black?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Nope, it's because it's genitalia.Andy BernardOpen quote: Perfectly normal genitalia Tuna. Now I'm going to show you another picture of perfectly normal genitalia. (Kevin is grossed out immediately. The office is grossed out)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Am I blocking anybody? Can everybody see?Andy BernardOpen quote: It's normal! Big deal! Yeah sure it has some herpes on it, but you know what? It's just as normal as anyone else's.
Scene 2315 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: No! In the beginning we were not good.Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, there was a little bit of a learning curve in the conversation department, but between the sheets we were like Jordan and Pippin!Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well if there's anything exciting about it it's because we both knew it was wrong!Michael ScottOpen quote: Because we work together.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: No, ok. Imagine there's a princess, who falls for a guy beneath her station, and the queen doesn't like this at all. And the princess knows that the queen doesn't like it so it just makes her wanna do it all the more just to get at the queen!Michael ScottOpen quote: Am I the princess?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: No I'm the princess, and the queen.Michael ScottOpen quote: (sighs) Ok, so I'm the guy at the station.AstridOpen quote: Mommy!Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Assy! Awwhhh how was school?AstridOpen quote: It was cool.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: (singing) What did you learn?AstridOpen quote: What did I learn?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: You might have learned shapes, or blocks, or clocks, or colors. Or you might have learned that we're all, sisters and brothers.Michael ScottOpen quote: I have herpes.
Scene 241 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I used to think that she was the one. Or at least A the one. And if I called that one so wrong...
Scene 2525 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Herpes, like all STDS, is a consequence of sex. Can anyone else name any other consequences?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: It feels unbelievable!Andy BernardOpen quote: (writing on board) Ok I guess I can make a pros column. Feels...Kevin MaloneOpen quote: ...unbelievable.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: The ability to express love physically. It's a magical thing.Andy BernardOpen quote: Express love, magical.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: It feels amazing!Andy BernardOpen quote: Umm, ok is that different from feels unbelievable?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yes.Andy BernardOpen quote: Then I will write it down.Creed BrattonOpen quote: The feeling of pure risk.Andy BernardOpen quote: I actually had that down in the cons column, but...Creed BrattonOpen quote: It's thrilling.Andy BernardOpen quote: Ok, umm. I'll move that. Thrill of risk.Erin HannonOpen quote: Andy, aren't there also negatives to sex?Andy BernardOpen quote: Yes! Thank you! Such as?Erin HannonOpen quote: Unplanned pregnancy.Andy BernardOpen quote: Yes, unplanned pregnancy.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Like Jim and Pam, say whaaat?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Just admit that your baby was a mistake.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey! Our baby was not a mistake. She was a surprise.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Good!Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: I'm sure they don't regret having their child, let's move it to the pros.Jim & PamOpen quote: Thank you!Andy BernardOpen quote: Ok, unplanned pregnancy, going in the pros column.
Scene 2612 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Next stop is Helene. You're gonna wanna make a left on Willow, which is a little ways away, uh. I'll remind you.Michael ScottOpen quote: You know, I don't know if I trust Jan's judgment. She...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Jan knows paper.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I'm not talking about paper. Relationships, they have the ability to point out if the man is making a bigger deal out of something that is really there.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Wait, what Holly said?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, I don't...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Forget it Michael! Today is about herpes.Michael ScottOpen quote: I know, I know.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Who gave it to you, who has it, and who is going to pay.Michael ScottOpen quote: Got it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: TO answer your question about Jan, no. Jan is insane. Why do you think I got- LEFT, WILLOW NOW!Michael ScottOpen quote: I'M TRYING! GOD!
Scene 279 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (walks into park with Dwight) Hi stranger! Long time!Old WomanOpen quote: Who are you?Michael ScottOpen quote: I'm Michael. We dated for a while.Old WomanOpen quote: I don't think so...HeleneOpen quote: Michael?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh hey! Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk while I talk to Helene?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Come on old lady. Let's go.Old WomanOpen quote: What is happening? (Dwight shushes her)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Come on.
Scene 2814 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Who can tell me what the safest form of sex is?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Condoms.Andy BernardOpen quote: Incorrect, the only true form of safe sex, ok? Abstinence.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Ohh. Ok. I didn't realize we were doing trick questions. What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski! (office laughs)Andy BernardOpen quote: I just thought I'd bring it up in case someone in here was practicing abstinence. That's all. Anybody?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Andy that's way too personal of a question.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well someone could answer if they want to. (looks at Erin hopefully) Ok, in that case I will now show you how to put this condom on... using this pencil. (Stanley laughs)Andy BernardOpen quote: What?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Why would you choose a pencil Andy?Andy BernardOpen quote: Well I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar! It's not exactly hard right now anyway.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Come on, give it a rest pencil dick.Andy BernardOpen quote: I'm doing this for you Meredith!Meredith PalmerOpen quote: I didn't want you it!Andy BernardOpen quote: Well did you h- di- GAH! Does no one appreciate what I'm doing right now?! (throws pizza box at painting and leaves)
Scene 296 linesHeleneOpen quote: It'll go away in time just don't touch it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Did I make more of what we had then what was really there?HeleneOpen quote: What did you think we were?Michael ScottOpen quote: Just a quirky indie movie weird sort of thing, breaking all the rules. But had to end, because the summer was over. For you...HeleneOpen quote: I think for you to have come here even expecting that we can have a conversation like this show's ho-how self deluded you are! Michael, your memory has failed you greatly.Michael ScottOpen quote: Jerk. (walks off)
Scene 3013 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Michael! (attempting to get out of the car on the side in which Michael parked too close to a bush. Michael ignores him and walks into a building.)CarolOpen quote: So this is the chef's kitchen, which makes it perfect for real entertainers.Michael ScottOpen quote: Real entertainers, like Billy Joel.CarolOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Carroll, how are you?CarolOpen quote: I'm great! How are you?Michael ScottOpen quote: I'm great! I saw your-your sign outside. And I decided, I'm going to pull in, and maybe buy a house from her.CarolOpen quote: You didn't call my office and ask where I was?Michael ScottOpen quote: No.CarolOpen quote: Because the receptionist told me a man called but he only said he was my ex-lover.Michael ScottOpen quote: Weird...CarolOpen quote: Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: He sounds like a nice guy.
Scene 316 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: I don't know, I mean people were being really mean to Meredith.Gabe LewisOpen quote: This wasn't really about Meredith was it. You and Erin are broken up.Andy BernardOpen quote: How is that relevant to anything?Gabe LewisOpen quote: I asked you if it was ok if I asked her out. You said, and I quote, 'My good sir! Nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.' I specifically remember it because you said it in such a weird way.Andy BernardOpen quote: The only reason I said that is because you asked me so politely! It was very difficult for me to say no.Gabe LewisOpen quote: I'll let this slide, but I expect you to put this whole Erin thing behind you.
Scene 3219 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh wow another living room!CarolOpen quote: It's a family room.Michael ScottOpen quote: You put the TV here, you put the family over here.CarolOpen quote: Michael why are you here?Michael ScottOpen quote: Someone told me that I romanticize relationshipsCarolOpen quote: You know, we all do that.Michael ScottOpen quote: I have herpes.CarolOpen quote: What? Did you have that while we were together?Michael ScottOpen quote: I just found out today. It's, uh, right there.CarolOpen quote: Oh! Oh, that's what you're talking about?Michael ScottOpen quote: Mmhmm, I'm sorry.CarolOpen quote: Did the doctor check it out?Michael ScottOpen quote: I'm between specialists right now.CarolOpen quote: Yes, yes Michael. Actually you do make a bigger deal out of things than you need to. You proposed to me on our fourth date.Michael ScottOpen quote: Well I believe in love at first sight.CarolOpen quote: Well so do I, but we didn't love each other at first either. I don't know what you were thinking!Michael ScottOpen quote: I knew what I was thinking at the time, but right now it just seems ridiculous.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (walking downstairs) Excuse me, someone died in the upstairs bathroom didn't they?CarolOpen quote: No.
Scene 337 linesDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: (Andy walks in Darryl's office) We should schedule meetings, because the days can slip away with chit-chat. Are you crying?Andy BernardOpen quote: No I'm just sweating.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: I don't know who's got you upset but my advice is stop crying.Andy BernardOpen quote: I'm not crying I'm just sweating.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Look you need to pick yourself up. Man up, alright? You will win this in the end. It's all about heart, and character. Be your best self.Andy BernardOpen quote: Ok.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Yeah.
Scene 341 lineDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: I have no idea what his problem is, that's just my standard advice. It's good advice right?
Scene 352 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: (on answering machine) This is Holly Flax, I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message after the sound of the tiny truck backing up. (BEEP)Michael ScottOpen quote: Hi Holly it's Michael, I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just. You know? It's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of women that I used to date, and in my mind they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must have been a real train wreck. You know what, Holly? You're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to them today, I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them, I joked with you. You are the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had but I did not make us up. Ok. Oh, wait, and you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye.
Scene 3617 linesOscar MartinezOpen quote: What is this about?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oscar, we once sucked face in public. As part of an office presentation to destroy the stigma of gay kissing. Do you recall?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Yes!Michael ScottOpen quote: You may have given me a sexually transmitted disease.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: What?Michael ScottOpen quote: Herpes duplex.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It was probably just an ingrown mustache hair but we have to be exhaustive.Michael ScottOpen quote: I have already contacted all of my ex-lovers except for you.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: We were never lovers!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I'm gonna need a list of every man you've ever had sex with. I'm talking train stations, men's rooms...Michael ScottOpen quote: Flower shops, fireworks celebrations...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Fence with a hole in it..Michael ScottOpen quote: Moolit Gandala, carrage drive through Central Park...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: The woods behind the liquor store, the swamp behind the old folk's home.Michael ScottOpen quote: An electric car dealership. (Oscar gets up and starts leaving)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: The democratic primaries,Michael ScottOpen quote: Oscar! Think abou- Think! (door slams)