Scene 011 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: I have the best survival stock shelter in north eastern Pennsylvania. But everything has a shelf-life. So I must eat and replace everything that's about to expire. It's nice not to have to plan my meals.
Scene 0220 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: You're eating eight year old tomatoes?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: They're still good for another week.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: You know, I think I have some type of cheese in the back of my fridge you might like. (Jim smiles)Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I've got some cheese you might like too. In between my toes. (all laugh)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hardy har har. Okay picture this: Snowy ash drizzles from the sky. A ravenous pack of dogs surrounds you as the flame at the end of your stick dies out. There's only one hope left for you. The door to my shelter. You pound, you beg, Dwight! Please let me in! But I ignore your cries and do not let you in. You wanna know why?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Because of the sign, that says no pounding no begging.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No. Because you laughed at me. Kevin will be eaten! Pam will be taken slave! Jim will be made a warlord's gesture. Meredith will do ok. Be assured this day will come. It's just a matter of time. Could be one month, could be two months.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Three months.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Could be.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Four months.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I can see that happening, yes.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Eight months?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: That's a realistic time line.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (Pam kisses Jim on the cheek) Eleven months.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Perhaps.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay now really think hard about this one: One year.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I can see that as a very real possibility.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (time has obviously passed, as everyone is gone except Jim and Dwight) Four hundred and ninety-four months?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I can see that happening.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Four hundred and ninety-FIVE months. That's just...
Scene 033 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: I really though I was becoming too much of a womanizer. I realized I had shirts in five different women's houses.Michael ScottOpen quote: Still not seeing the problem here.Todd PackerOpen quote: All right, truth is I gotta couple love bumps on my ding-dong so, game-over!
Scene 041 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: It was the best of times, it was the awesomest of times. And now Packer wants to come home. And ohh, look who's here to sign off on it! My boo, Holly.
Scene 0529 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: (walks into conference room with Michael and Todd) Hi!Michael ScottOpen quote: Hi. (Holly and Michael kiss)Holly FlaxOpen quote: You must be Todd.Todd PackerOpen quote: (shaking Holly's hand) Whoa! I'm sorry, Michael. I thought we were meeting Holly today, not Jennifer Aniston!Holly FlaxOpen quote: (laughs oddly) Very funny. Okay let's get started.Todd PackerOpen quote: After you!Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, Michael! This'll be just us.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, yes yes yes yes. Just so you know, he's at his funniest when you've given him five shots.Holly FlaxOpen quote: All right.Michael ScottOpen quote: And it also helps if you've had five shots.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I already have.Michael ScottOpen quote: Whoa!Jim HalpertOpen quote: (to Michael) Why is Packer back?Michael ScottOpen quote: Is Packer here?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Why's he talking to Holly?Michael ScottOpen quote: (peering into conference room) Don't know, don't care.Holly FlaxOpen quote: (to Todd) Michael loves you, and your sales speak for themselves.Todd PackerOpen quote: (excitedly) Oh!Michael ScottOpen quote: (sees Holly and Todd shaking hands in the conference room) Yes! The Pack is back! Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have done it with him. Just kidding he wouldn't be interested in any of you. In all seriousness, Todd Packer, is a permanent salesman at this branch. And I would like to invite you to welcome him with open arms.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yes!Jim HalpertOpen quote: What!?Todd PackerOpen quote: It's great to be among friends, but until then, you suckers will do!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Nice! We got burned!Michael ScottOpen quote: You did! You got burned, because Packer's back! Packer is turning in his car for a desk. He is turning in his condoms, for a condominium! Although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (seething) Holly, you approved this?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yes I did, I think Todd's gonna make a great addition to the staff.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You did approve it?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yeah.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: What don't you understand about the word approved? It seems some of you don't know what the word approved means.
Scene 073 linesErin HannonOpen quote: (walking in with Gabe behind her) Sorry we're late. Gabe fell in the shower.Gabe LewisOpen quote: I'm such a klutz!Erin HannonOpen quote: Yeah, it took the fire department forever to get there. (realizing there's a new computer at her desk. Gets very excited) Oh my God, where did this come from?! Who did this?!
Scene 081 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: I got Erin a new computer, because the one at reception sucked. I should know. And I don't wanna say the other one was old, but its I.P. number is one! (laughs sheepishly) Right?
Scene 096 linesErin HannonOpen quote: Thank you Pam.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Awwh, you're welcome. (they hug) My pleasure.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (Pam walks over to him and smiles excitedly while bouncing, Jim imitates her) Can I do something for ya?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I just helped someone out. It feels good.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Nice. You know, I cleaned our daughter for like, an hour at four a.m. this morning, so...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: So you know the feeling.
Scene 1017 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Special delivery for Dwight K. Schrute.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I didn't order anything.Michael ScottOpen quote: And I don't have anything for you. But I do wanna talk to you about something. We have been thinking about where Packer should sit... And we can't just sit around and wait for Creed to die.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Well there's a lot of seats in the annex.Michael ScottOpen quote: So you wouldn't mind permanently relocating, so that Packer can take this desk here. (Jim looks appalled)Todd PackerOpen quote: Thanks man, it'd mean a lot.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I have been sitting here for ten years, Michael.Todd PackerOpen quote: well I was there for twelve years. Plus my name's carved under the desk.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No it is not.Todd PackerOpen quote: Is too!Michael ScottOpen quote: (Grunting as he crawls under Dwight's desk. Dwight follows) Let's look at this.Todd PackerOpen quote: Check it out!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I don't wanna move desks!Michael ScottOpen quote: Don't be a baby! Okay! There it is. Packer was here and so was your mom! [Todd starts humping Dwight and Michael who are still under the desk.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Do I have any say in this?!Michael ScottOpen quote: No!Todd PackerOpen quote: (grunting while humping Michael and Dwight) Don't even watch, Halpert!
Scene 1120 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: (in the annex, moving into his new desk. Holds up a red tray with rocks on it) Hey, who's dirt box is this?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Oh, that's our Zen garden.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What do you grow in here, bullcrap? (puts the tray into the garbage)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (walking into the annex with Jim) Hey, um...Holly FlaxOpen quote: Hey, what's up guys?Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Don't what's up us! You think you're so cute, with your pretty blonde hair!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Whoa, pull it back. Uhm, why did you hire Todd Packer?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Uhm.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: He's seriously awful!Holly FlaxOpen quote: Michael's recommendation was glowing! And, honestly, he's been nothing but nice to me!Meredith PalmerOpen quote: That's how he gets you to take off his panties.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (Pam starts nodding in agreement) Why are you nodding?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: United front...Holly FlaxOpen quote: Okay, look. We can't fire someone because we don't like him.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Right this isn't the U.S. Government.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: What are you referencing?Ryan HowardOpen quote: (seems unsure) Everything... Everything.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Do any of you have any concrete complaints about something he's done?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, I mean he humped Michael.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Well if that's the case, I guess I've gotta be fired too. (all groan in disgust)
Scene 1217 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: (looking at his computer, gasps) Hey! Hey you guys! The Armeth Regado video is up, gather around! (no one moves) Check it out! This guy's on a full beam reach. (watching a sailing video on his computer) They're hiking out like mad! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up! Nice job! Ughh. (computer is frozen, taps the top of it) This computer's a hunk of jjunk.Erin HannonOpen quote: Hey sailor! Come watch it over here! (pats her new computer)Andy BernardOpen quote: Where did you get this?!Erin HannonOpen quote: Pam gave it to me!Andy BernardOpen quote: This is a sick computer! Gwen Stefani has this computer! (to Pam, in a fake British accent) Uhhh, Pamela! What does a guy have to do to get, ahem, one of them?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You have a computer Andy.Andy BernardOpen quote: Yeah, but if you donated my computer to Africa, it would become world famous as the slowest computer in Africa. So...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Ok, but listen. We just don't have the budget for it. Okay? Reception needed a computer so we got one.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well Andy's desk needs a computer. And, I mean, it's just kinda a coincidence that I work there, but...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yes, but Reception is a one person department. If I get you a new computer I have to get one for everyone in sales. For Dwight, for Stanley, it would be crazy.Stanley HudsonOpen quote: So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now?Andy BernardOpen quote: I'm not asking for one, I need it.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: If you're just handing them out, I want one too.Andy BernardOpen quote: Phyllis, no body is handing anything out.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: See, this is what I'm talking about.Andy BernardOpen quote: What are you gonna play mange on faster?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Sorry Andy.
Scene 1311 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: Hey what's going on you guys? (walking into the kitchen with Holly, Dwight, and Kevin, with whom he fist bumps) Yeahh! Three muska-queers!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: (giggling) Mean but good!Holly FlaxOpen quote: So, Todd, this must be nice for you getting off the road. You get to spend some time with your daughter.Todd PackerOpen quote: I don't know, I love her and all, but she turned into a bitch. Mostly she's great, but some days she acts like her mom. (Holly is un-amused)Holly FlaxOpen quote: Well, some girls go through a phase.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Hey, your life is so insane! You should write a book!Todd PackerOpen quote: Since when did you learn how to read?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I do know how to read though!Todd PackerOpen quote: Yeah. You know how to read... a menu!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: (Todd leaves. Kevin laughs uncertainly) He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up and comer.
Scene 1441 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (walking through the office, notices Andy with Erin's computer set up at his desk) What the heck! Why do you have Erin's computer!Andy BernardOpen quote: It's crazy, right? Erin just wanted me to have it, so we switched.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What? Erin is that true?Erin HannonOpen quote: (nods) I just thought, he really needed a new computer, and he knew so much about that one.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Erin, it's not up to you. This computer was for reception! Okay? It's not yours to give away.Andy BernardOpen quote: Pam, when I'm freaking out, I just sorta step back and-Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I'm not freaking out, Andy.Andy BernardOpen quote: -take a few breaths, and then I ask myself: Is this worth freaking out about?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Andy, why should she have your crappy computer?Andy BernardOpen quote: That's interesting. So you also think my computer is crappy.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Switch the computers back Andy.Andy BernardOpen quote: Seriously?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Seriously.Andy BernardOpen quote: Pam! Come on!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Now please.Andy BernardOpen quote: Fine! (the office goes back to their work) Please make sure no one is humping me!Erin HannonOpen quote: (to Holly who is walking by) Oh! If you're going back to the annex, could you take these to Dwight? I think the ants are waking up. They need to start farming soon. (picks up an ant farm and tube of ants from her desk, Holly takes them) Thanks.Michael ScottOpen quote: Best day ever. Best day ever!Holly FlaxOpen quote: So much happening. (not as excited as Michael)Michael ScottOpen quote: Question, should I get stripes shaved on the side of my head?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No! No.Michael ScottOpen quote: Please.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Did Todd tell you to do that?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, You love him right? (Holly seems unsure) You love him. I can tell.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I love you.Michael ScottOpen quote: No. Not me, him.Holly FlaxOpen quote: That's certainly opinionated.Erin HannonOpen quote: (looking anxious) If you're not gonna take the ants over I should probably just do it myself.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Oh I'm going.Michael ScottOpen quote: Whoa! Look, are you jealous of him? Because you think he's funnier than you? Oh honey...Holly FlaxOpen quote: I don't think he's funnier than me.Michael ScottOpen quote: He's funnier than me.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No, he's not funny at all.Michael ScottOpen quote: So I'm less funny than not funny at all?Erin HannonOpen quote: (very anxious at this point) Gee! Uh oh! I think the ants are starting to eat each other!Holly FlaxOpen quote: No, what I'm saying is, he's not funny, but you're funnier than he is.Michael ScottOpen quote: (seems taken aback) Uhm...Holly FlaxOpen quote: Ok: Bill Cosby (puts the ant tube high up. Each time she mentions a name it gets lower), Steve Martin, Charlie Bit My Finger, Michael Scott, then all the way down here (tube takes a jump to the bottom) Todd Packer.Michael ScottOpen quote: That's insane!Holly FlaxOpen quote: Honey, he's a jerk.Erin HannonOpen quote: (getting up and walking towards them, worriedly) For Pete's sake it just needs to be done! (takes the ant farm and tube from Holly and heads towards the annex)
Scene 1511 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: (to Jim) So you two are married to each other now, right?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah.Todd PackerOpen quote: That's sweet. How's the sex?Jim HalpertOpen quote: (continues working)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (walks towards Todd) Hey Packer, I made you some hot chocolate.Todd PackerOpen quote: Why?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: 'Cause I wanna let bygones be bygones. Show you I'm cool. You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. I got this awesome hot chocolate recipe from my wife.Jim HalpertOpen quote: That's a lot of reasons! (suspicious)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Drink it!Todd PackerOpen quote: I think I'll pass. The only hot chocolate I'm into is Viva A Fox. (winks)Jim HalpertOpen quote: (interrupts Dwight trying to force feed Todd) Can I talk to you a second?
Scene 1618 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: So, this hot chocolate thing.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: None of your business.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, you know you can't actually poison him.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It wasn't poison Jim, it was a laxative. People take laxatives all the time. This is just, a lot more of a laxative. Let me handle this.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I really think we should join forces on this one.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Really.Jim HalpertOpen quote: What do we think, what would drive him crazy.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I know.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Here we go.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Pepto-Bismol, in his hot chocolate.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You've gotta stop with the hot chocolate stuff. I was thinking we can jam his drawers, so they only comes out two inches, then he can see everything in them but he can't get to them.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (mocking) Ooh does Edgar Allan Poe know about that one? So sinister! That wouldn't annoy a person at all! Where do you come up with this stuff?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay! Well this isn't my best, but call Froggy101, say that we're the tour manager for Justin Bieber, and we're giving away free tickets, we give him a number to call for the tickets, and it's his own number.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Who is Justice Beaver?Jim HalpertOpen quote: He... It's a crime fighting beaver.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Why don't you write up your best forty ideas and e-mail them to me. Can you do that?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Absolutely, I'll e-mail you a hundred.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yeah, write up your list of one hundred, edit it down to your top forty, then e-mail it to me, and I'll read it over.
Scene 1714 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Pam. Can I talk to you in private?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I don't know if there's really a private place in this office.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well they put a sign-up sheet on the conference room and I signed us up for three mods. A mod is five minutes. And it started two minutes ago.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (looking confused) You did that?Andy BernardOpen quote: Can we talk about this in the meeting? Because we're a little late.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay. (walks to conference room with Andy and stares at the sign up sheet with wonder) When did people sign-Andy BernardOpen quote: Mind if I close the door? (after shutting door in the conference room) What you did out there, earlier, was totally un-cool.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Well what was I supposed to do, let you walk all over me?Andy BernardOpen quote: You humiliated me in front of every body!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay, well I didn't think about it like that. It's just, I can't do anything about it. I can't replace that one unless that computer breaks.Andy BernardOpen quote: I mean, it's pretty broken already.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, well if it breaks all the way I can get you a new one.Andy BernardOpen quote: (looks at her knowingly) Pretty sneaky sis. (knocking on conference room door)Ryan HowardOpen quote: (walking in) Hey cats, we got a jazz session in mod six, nine, and twelve. (Pam and Andy exit as Ryan and others holding saxophones walk in, Pam looks at the sign up sheet in awe)
Scene 185 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: (to Jim, the two are alone in the annex) There are over four hundred of these! (indicating a packet of paper)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah I couldn't cut it down.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: They're all good. So good! Number three: eat a frog. That sounds promising. Number four: eat a dog. I don't know, um, from practical stand point-Jim HalpertOpen quote: One thirty-five. Did you like one thirty-five?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Eat a brog. Maybe it's because I didn't understand it. I just had a couple of notes, let me grab a pen. (Dwight tries to open up a drawer on his desk but it only goes out two inches) Damn it. Gah! Just when we were getting going.
Scene 191 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: (Andy is seen clicking random things and warning boxes pop up. He pours coffee on his keyboard, puts bologna with mustard in his CD drive, and many other computer harming things) Allow all cookies? Why certainly! Pop-ups? Yes please! Bit torrent streaming from a Somalian music website? Yeah! Why not? (mock baby voice) Oh I hope you don't get sick Mr. Computer. (computer voice) Why are you doing this to me Andy? (normal voice again) Because I hate your programs!
Scene 2016 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: (at Hank's with Michael, talking to Hank) And a '76 that's good to boot, I like that. (Hank smiles)Michael ScottOpen quote: And you made Hank smile, that doesn't happen often. You're very charming. That is something you should take upstairs, and use on people that really matter. (Hank looks irritated again)Todd PackerOpen quote: Why?Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't know, Holly mentioned that there were some complaints. And that you had said some things about Kevin.Todd PackerOpen quote: Holly said that?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah.Holly FlaxOpen quote: She was laughing hysterically that whole time!Michael ScottOpen quote: I guess you said something weird about your daughter?Todd PackerOpen quote: She asked me, Michael! It would've been rude not to answer.Michael ScottOpen quote: You've been on the road a long time. And you've been an outdoor cat. And now you have to be an indoor cat, so you can't be peeing all over the walls.Todd PackerOpen quote: Michael, can I open the kamomo with you. I've been on the road too long. But, I wanna connect with my daughter. And it's not right to call her a bitch in front of strangers.Michael ScottOpen quote: No it isn't.Todd PackerOpen quote: You're right. I gotta watch my behavior.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, a little bit.Todd PackerOpen quote: Don't give up on me.Michael ScottOpen quote: I won't.
Scene 2117 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (Michael and Todd are walking into the office) Okay, every body. I need you to see this. Because maybe there is somebody here that you all underestimated, who will surprise you. Todd Packer, is going to apologize. Kevin! Front and center, come here.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I got a lot of numbers here to put together.Michael ScottOpen quote: Kevin, we know that you are just trying to save face, we know that you are hurt and embarrassed.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: That's silly. If anything, I should be apologizing to Packer. Because we all know I can dish it, as good as I can take it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, sweetie, no. You shouldn't be apologizing to Packer. That doesn't make any sense. You ready for this? You ready for this? Gentlemen, start your engines.Todd PackerOpen quote: I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments earlier.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, but I'll stand here for the big show.Michael ScottOpen quote: Kevin, do you accept the apology?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Don't do it Kevin, that's the fake kind of apology.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, go back to the annex.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: This is textbook. It's so uncool. Ryan does this to me all the time. Like it's some offense to have feelings. Don't do it Kevin.Ryan HowardOpen quote: (muttering) Sometimes you over react.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Michael how's this supposed to work? Packer's gonna keep saying terrible things, and then he's just gonna make half-assed apologies. And we're back to square one.Todd PackerOpen quote: Okay. You want an apology? Here it goes. Kevin, I am so sorry. You are skinny, and you are a genius.Michael ScottOpen quote: That-That was maybe too much. Packer is a survivor of divorce Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parent's expectations, Andy. (Andy looks confused and shrugs) Angela loves pussy cats, and Packer loves-Angela MartinOpen quote: (cutting in) No! Don't!Michael ScottOpen quote: I was going to say dogs! Okay, you know what, this is over! Apology has been issued! And we're through with it. Packer will be here until the day he dies, just like the rest of us!
Scene 226 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (in a car with Andy, by the dumpster you can see a new computer box) So listen, we have to really scuff this up.Andy BernardOpen quote: No no no no no! We can say that the previous owner was a neat-freak. Or an elegant old lady and she just kept it around in case her grand-kids came to visit, but they died and they never came, I think I'm gonna make myself cry.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Andy, this is the deal we made.Andy BernardOpen quote: (watching Pam scrap his computer) That's probably good. That's enough.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: We should break this hinge maybe.Andy BernardOpen quote: Let's not go crazy.
Scene 237 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: Well thanks, will do.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (using fake Southern accent, on the phone with Todd Packer, Dwight is also with Jim) Absolutely, now when you get down there, Jo's a little bit, uh, forgetful. So she may have locked the gate, but what you're gonna do is go ahead, hop it, and just head back to the pool. (Michael walks in on Jim and Dwight)Todd PackerOpen quote: That sounds weird.Jim HalpertOpen quote: It is weird! Look at you, perceptive. Now I know why Jo's kept her eye on you!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (also In southern accent) And you make sure to get down there and check out that Harry Potter World.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (trying to stop him) Whatever you wanna do in your spare time is up to you!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Harry Potter World is supposed to be faaantastic!
Scene 241 lineTodd PackerOpen quote: Apparently, as soon as corporate found out I wanted to come in off the road, Jo offered me a cushy new job in Tallahassee. And here's the best part. I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every sub species. Also I'm a huge boob nerd.
Scene 2512 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Check it out and have a free butterbeer on us. Keep the receipt and we'll get ya' back!Michael ScottOpen quote: What are you doing?Jim HalpertOpen quote: (trying to hide from Michael what they're doing, he picks up the phone and talks directly into it) All right, so just pack your bags and, uh, be sure to bring those swimming trunks! Bye now! (hangs up)Michael ScottOpen quote: I cannot believe this, you're sending Packer to Florida? Why?Jim HalpertOpen quote: He's a jerk.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: He took my desk.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, so you're tricking him into flying to Florida?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It wasn't my first choice, Jim had so many better ideas.Michael ScottOpen quote: You have to tell him. You have to tell him what you did.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No, no, no. That is not part of the plan. That is actually anti-what we're doing.Michael ScottOpen quote: He is my oldest friend, I am going to tell him.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Wait! Why don't we come up with a plan we're all happy about? (Michael leaves)
Scene 265 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: (plugging in new computer, acting to make people think he got a bad computer) Pam, how is this thing even any better than my old computer?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Come on Andy! I mean you said you wanted a new computer and this is the best I could do!Andy BernardOpen quote: Where'd you even find this thing, like, in the corner in the warehouse?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yes, I found it in a shelf in the corner of the warehouse. (Darryl gives the camera an odd look)Andy BernardOpen quote: All right, well thank you for my garbage computer. (Andy turns it on and looks amazed, clearly happy with it)
Scene 2712 linesTodd PackerOpen quote: (walking into Michael's office) You're looking at the new face of corporate. Gonna put the "ass", in Tallahassee!Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, about that.Todd PackerOpen quote: Well we gotta go out and celebrate, tonight!Michael ScottOpen quote: Well... I don't know if that's a good idea.Todd PackerOpen quote: Do you have a ball and chain?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, nothing like that at all.Todd PackerOpen quote: Listen, I'm gonna tell you something that none of these people have the stones to tell you. It's your girlfriend, man. She's uptight.Michael ScottOpen quote: Sorry?Todd PackerOpen quote: I know this stuff can hurt, but I wish someone had said something to me about my ex-wife. All I'm saying is about a month or so, meet me down in Florida, I'll introduce you to all the local (spanks the air) talent.Michael ScottOpen quote: (thinks a moment) Sounds great.Todd PackerOpen quote: It's gonna be so good.Michael ScottOpen quote: That is. (Jim sees them and looks happy) It's gonna be awesome. I think you're really going to enjoy it down there.
Scene 288 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: I'm sorry about your friend.Michael ScottOpen quote: Nah, he's an ass.Holly FlaxOpen quote: (Brooklyn accent) You ahh.Michael ScottOpen quote: (imitating) You ahh.Holly FlaxOpen quote: What ah you wicked smaht?Michael ScottOpen quote: No you ahh.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Who ahh?Michael ScottOpen quote: (kisses her and speaks normally again) You ahh.
Scene 298 linesDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: So this new computer you found in the warehouse.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yep. Lucked out.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Yeah, you really did. 'Cause I know every INCH of that warehouse.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yep, super lucky.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Maybe you could go back down there and see if you can find me some extra sick days.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (hesitating at the bribe) Yeah. You know what , I think I saw ONE sick day down there.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Really? 'Cause I think maybe I saw five.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Three. (Daryl nods)