Scene 014 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh, yeah. (clapping and chanting) I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? (points to Erin)Erin HannonOpen quote: (clapping) I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? (points to Oscar)Oscar MartinezOpen quote: I think you don't know what you're saying.Michael ScottOpen quote: It's from "Sob-ray", our new owner, and it is to Sabre, us. I wonder what's inside. Scissor me. (Erin tosses Michael open scissors, Pam is appalled)
Scene 021 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Dunder Mifflin was recently bought by an electronics company named Sabre. (mispronounced "sob-ray") They stepped in at the 11th hour, and they saved our asses. Although David Wallace said that we were the one branch that was actually working right, so we probably could have saved our own asses. We didn't need them touching our asses.
Scene 031 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh! (rips open cardboard box) Wow. Awesome. (distributing items) For accounting, a brand new printer. And for the sales staff, a new fax machine. This cord has Creed written all over it. And whoever would like a brand new scanner can come visit it in my office. Thank you.
Scene 043 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Here we go. (scans stuffed animal) Oh! Wow.Michael ScottOpen quote: Cool. What next? (Dwight puts his face on scanner)Erin HannonOpen quote: Guys, um, who's Gabe? This note says to put the box aside for Gabe Lewis, who's coming tomorrow?
Scene 059 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Okay, everybody, listen up. I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control -Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Impulsivity and inattention to detail.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey, hey. I have opened a box, which should not have been opened...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Terrible mistake.Michael ScottOpen quote: And distributed things which should not have been distributed.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Undistributable.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Well, maybe we can put the box back together.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Impossible. He opened it like an ape.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: I think we can do it.
Scene 066 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (Pam and Oscar are trying to repack cardboard box) Yep, yep.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Right? Mm. Did we try printer first? Shredder at an angle -Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yep.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Fax, cable, then the scanner upside down?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yes.Creed BrattonOpen quote: Have you tried making everything smaller?
Scene 0711 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: And - (Jim seals box with tape, rips covered with stickers) Wow. Really nice job. This group of people, when they put their minds together, they can do something great. And I think that you should all be proud of yourselves. (cell phone starts ringing from inside box)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Alright, relax. We can do it. We just did it. So we can do this again. Erin, scissor me please. (Erin tosses open scissors across Jim and Pam)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No, don't!Michael ScottOpen quote: (fumbles) Thank you. Oh! Got it. Ok.Michael ScottOpen quote: Alright, he's on his way up. Okay. Are we ready?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What do you want us to do?Michael ScottOpen quote: Why do I have to explain everything?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Because we're usually not on the same page.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay. (starts round of applause)Gabe LewisOpen quote: Oh. Okay. And to you. (begins applauding)
Scene 081 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Gabe seems tall. Hope we get along. Had a very good thing going with David Wallace. He was a good guy. He was somebody I could trust. Here he is. (holding up photo of him and Wallace) You can really see that he is ok taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.
Scene 0921 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Welcome. Scranton hot dog from Scranton?Michael ScottOpen quote: You know what, Dwight? Let's give him a minute to settle in, shall we? Ok?Gabe LewisOpen quote: Um, hi, uh, my name is Gabe Lewis. I am coordinating director for merging regions.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hello, Gabe. I am Michael Scott, co-manager. This is my protege, Jim Halpert.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Co-manager, actually.Michael ScottOpen quote: In training.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Trained. Loving it. Good at it. So...Gabe LewisOpen quote: We are very impressed with this branch and we are so excited about this merger.Michael ScottOpen quote: We're very excited too, aren't we guys? Right?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: So excited.Michael ScottOpen quote: We have a little song prepared for you.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Um, actually, if you don't mind, I would love to put this on the Sabre website. (correctly pronounced "say-ber")Michael ScottOpen quote: Sabre. Say-ber. Sabre.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh. Of course.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, say-ber. Good. Take it away guys.Andy BernardOpen quote: Ok. (playing guitar to the tune of Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA)Andy & ErinOpen quote: (singing) Hopped off the train in Scranton, PA, another cloudy gray afternoon. Jumped in the cab, here you are for the first time, look to the right see the "Electric City" sign. This is gonna be good day, for Dunder Mifflin and Sob-ray. Sab - (guitar stops)Michael ScottOpen quote: Saber.Andy BernardOpen quote: Saber. (sings) Dunder Mifflin and Saber. So yeah, yeah, yay, yay.Andy & ErinOpen quote: Dunder Mifflin is a part of Sob-ray. So yeah, yeah, yay, yay. Dunder Mifflin is a part of Sabre. (music stops)Andy BernardOpen quote: You sure it's saber?
Scene 104 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Thank you. Hey, we should be fine if we leave around 11:20.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, you mapquested it. It's four blocks away.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, now we won't get lost. Or we could drive. And that takes one minute.
Scene 115 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: We found a great local daycare. It's rated really high by all the local parenting websites. But that means it's also really hard to get into.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Turns out, a lot of parents want the very best for their children. That's weird.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: We're hoping our interview seals the deal.Jim HalpertOpen quote: But if not, there's always the army. The infantry.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Scene 122 linesChristian SlaterOpen quote: So you've just been bought by Sabre. You've probably got a lot of questions. Hi. I'm Christian Slater. What's it like to work for Sabre? Let's find out together. Working at Sabre means taking on the challenge of the road that rises to meet you. Sabre is respecting the past, but opening a window to the future. Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will.Jo BennettOpen quote: You'll find it easy to embrace the Sabre spirit. Welcome. We're very excited to go on this journey with you.
Scene 131 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: (Christian Slater impression) So you've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering, "What's going on?" Well, you're not alone.
Scene 143 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Wow. Really terrific.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Most of our business comes from selling printers. So don't think of yourselves as paper salesmen anymore, but as printer salesmen who also sell paper.Michael ScottOpen quote: Perfect.
Scene 167 linesGabe LewisOpen quote: At Sabre, we really encourage honest communication. You should always feel free to express your thoughts, your -Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Talk about vacation days!Gabe LewisOpen quote: We have a policy here at Sabre where we are, uh, allowed to take two weeks.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: But I banked six weeks.Angela MartinOpen quote: I already booked a Great Lakes cruise.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Hey, who the hell's going through our stuff?Gabe LewisOpen quote: Actually, that's Nick. He's your new IT guy. Uh, he's setting up a site blocker. Mostly blocking the inappropriate sites. And then there are the time-wasting sites like Twitter, YouTube. We are blocking those as well.
Scene 188 linesGabe LewisOpen quote: Ok, did everyone get one? With these bottles, we eliminate the need for plastic water bottles, which are the scourge of the environment.Michael ScottOpen quote: We'll still get to use the little cups, though, right?Gabe LewisOpen quote: Little cups? Like paper or plastic or... ?Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't know what they're made of.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: They're 2 ounce paper cups dipped in plastic. He goes through 20 a day.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Ok, well, I bet you can fit 20 little cups of water in your aluminum bottle.Michael ScottOpen quote: You know what can't fit in a bottle, are the 20 little trips I take to the cooler, and the 20 little scans I do of everybody to make sure everything's running smoothly. And the 20 little conversations that I have with Stanley.Stanley HudsonOpen quote: That's ok.
Scene 191 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: There is a small part of me that is actually very excited about this new company. But 70 percent of me is water, and the other part, the real part, the part that has feelings and emotions and thoughts and makes decisions and, if I can be crass, makes babies, that part thinks that all of these changes suck ba -
Scene 204 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (in line to fill up water bottle behind Kevin and Toby) Really? You don't have enough water in there? Your stomach?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Oop.Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Looks like we kicked it. (indicates water jug is empty)
Scene 211 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I miss the old Dunder Mifflin. Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate.
Scene 228 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: I don't want to appear ungrateful for everything Sabre's doing for us.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Oh, I don't get that sense at all from you, so...Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, you should have a little. But it's great that you don't, because I am trying to embrace all of these changes, but I'm - I'll be honest, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a couple of 'em.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Which ones?Michael ScottOpen quote: All of them.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Well, I wish that I could do something, but it's kind of policy, you know? Above my pay grade. You know?Michael ScottOpen quote: So maybe we should call. We should call someone. I could help. I'm good with bosses. Call one of the higher-ups?Gabe LewisOpen quote: You know what? Let me see what I can do.
Scene 239 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: (after entering daycare) Ok, this is officially the cutest thing I've ever seen. Cubbies. I totally forgot about cubbies.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: There's a finger-painting station and a curly slide. Am I too old to go here?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh. Adorable, right? (opens kiddie bathroom, sees man on toilet) I walked in on someone in the bathroom.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I just walked in on someone in the bathroom.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Who? The -Jim HalpertOpen quote: I don't know. I don't know.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: The guy we're meeting with?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I don't know, I don't know.
Scene 243 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: I am telling you, there are no strawberries in here.Erin HannonOpen quote: Well, I saw them in there.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well maybe they ran away, because the pizza was like, (imitating Italian accent) "Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries."
Scene 251 lineErin HannonOpen quote: I think when Andy finally asks me out he's going to try to top what he did with the drum line. I can't wait to see what he comes up with.
Scene 261 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: The ball's totally in Erin's court. After the whole drum line thing.
Scene 2716 linesGabe LewisOpen quote: (on videochat) First let me say that I told them everything you wanted me to say, in just the way you wanted me to say it, so...Jo BennettOpen quote: Gabe, honey, I love this. I love the sound of your voice. But I really need some new information now.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Ok, um, I told the story of your uncle, and I have a feeling that you would have (Michael gesturing behind computer) really been proud of the way... Okay, um...Jo BennettOpen quote: Wait a minute, who is it? Who's there? Is there somebody in the room with you? (Michael gesturing "no") I want to see who it is. Turn me around.Gabe LewisOpen quote: I don't - it's just...Jo BennettOpen quote: Turn me around. Now. (Michael starts to leave, Jo whistles) Hey, Buddy. Is it something I said?Michael ScottOpen quote: Hello. No. My name's Michael Scott. Hello.Jo BennettOpen quote: Oh, hello, Mr. Scott. Pleased to meet you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Nice to meet you. We are very excited about the merger with Sabre. I think you have a great accent.Jo BennettOpen quote: Aw, thank you. I've been working on it since I was a little girl. To, um, to what do I owe the pleasure of this videochat?Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, I am little concerned with all of these changes, to be quite frank. I think we have done things a certain way here at Dunder Mifflin for quite some time, and -Jo BennettOpen quote: Pardon. Pardon me, Mr. Scott, but the last time I saw a company as mismanaged as Dunder Mifflin, it was my grandson's snowball company, so you'll excuse me if I prefer that you all adapt to the way that we do things.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok. I feel very strongly that you can't just come in here and change everything that people have been doing forever. Is Christian Slater back there? Because... he knows. He'd know what to do.Jo BennettOpen quote: So listen, why don't you tell Gabe if by the end of the day you can't handle the changes.Michael ScottOpen quote: I have already told him, but I will tell him again if you think that will help.Jo BennettOpen quote: I would take until the end of the day if I were you. (Michael leaves conference room)
Scene 281 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: (Throws aluminum bottle out of car window, breaks a windshield, speeds out of parking lot)
Scene 2918 linesJerryOpen quote: Pam and Jim? Hey, I'm Jerry.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Hi Jerry.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Jerry.JerryOpen quote: Good to see you. Come on in. My office is right back here. This is the play room.Jim HalpertOpen quote: This is great. Got to confess, we came a little early, so we got a quick look around, but, uh -JerryOpen quote: Oh, so you saw it already?Jim HalpertOpen quote: No, no, no, no. Yes. We saw this, yes. No, it wasn't like a look around. We really just had a peek. Quick peek. Didn't focus on anything in particular.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: It's lovely.JerryOpen quote: (cell phone rings) Oh. Got to take this. Sorry.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Do it.JerryOpen quote: Okay. Hi, this is Jerry.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Ok, you've got to pull it together.Jim HalpertOpen quote: We should just go. He's really uncomfortable.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: He's uncomfortable because you're acting weird. So you have to stop acting weird.Jim HalpertOpen quote: What if we just bring it up? We just put it out in the open?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: That's the weirdest possible solution to the problem.JerryOpen quote: Sorry about that. Right this way.Jim HalpertOpen quote: All right.
Scene 3014 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: I have come here today to talk to Mr. David Wallace about this whole thing going on with Sabre. (rings doorbell) He will know exactly what to do. He is not a big fan of me dropping by announced. But then again, who is? (loud drumming as door opens) Hey. Hi, sorry.David WallaceOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: I hope you're not busy doing something.David WallaceOpen quote: No, you kidding? Come on in. Come on.Michael ScottOpen quote: You sure?David WallaceOpen quote: You look great.Michael ScottOpen quote: You look great too.David WallaceOpen quote: You hungry? I'm just having lunch.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, yeah, that sounds good.David WallaceOpen quote: Fantastic. Teddy, look who just stopped in.Teddy WallaceOpen quote: Huh? Hey. (continues drumming)Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey. Wow.David WallaceOpen quote: Keep it up, son.Michael ScottOpen quote: Really loud.
Scene 3115 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Wow. Oh, yummy. (David spreads marshmallow fluff on bread) You have got the life, my friend.David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: Can I just stay here and never go back?David WallaceOpen quote: Things not going so well there?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, man. How much time do you have?David WallaceOpen quote: I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah.Mrs. WallaceOpen quote: Hey, honey. How's your day going? Did you do anything cool?David WallaceOpen quote: Uh, no, sweetie. I just sort of hung out.Mrs. WallaceOpen quote: Oh, 'cause I saw you had shoes on, so I didn't know if you did anything.David WallaceOpen quote: No. Just hanging out, honey. You remember Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hi. Sorry, I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd come by, see...Mrs. WallaceOpen quote: No problem at all. This is great. So what are you guys up to?Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't know.David WallaceOpen quote: Uh, but maybe, uh - actually, you know, I think maybe we'll go outside. May -maybe we'll go outside. (drumming intensifies) Outside.
Scene 3218 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: There was one thing we were curious about, uh, your flexibility on things like Easter or Memorial Day, because we might want to change our days around a little bit.JerryOpen quote: That seems a bit premature, don't you think? I don't even know if I have a space for you yet, and you're already lining up your holiday plans.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, no, sorry. Just, um, we're kind of planners. But we're also flexible too, so you know what? Maybe we can just discuss it when the time comes.JerryOpen quote: Yeah, if the time comes, we can discuss it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Is this because Jim walked in on you going to the bathroom?Jim HalpertOpen quote: What?JerryOpen quote: Seriously? You told her?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Did it? It might have come up while we were waiting for you.JerryOpen quote: And you - you thought that might have something to do with how the meeting is going?Jim HalpertOpen quote: No.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Maybe, because it doesn't seem to be going super well.JerryOpen quote: Well, you didn't consider the fact that it might not be going super well just because it might not be going super well?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Nope. 'Cause we're really nice people but you don't seem to like us.JerryOpen quote: I'm being perfectly pleasant. Did you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, this coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet? Why didn't you just lock the door, man?JerryOpen quote: It doesn't lock for the children's safety.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Anybody could have walked in.JerryOpen quote: It was story time.
Scene 3320 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Sabre is changing everything. (Michael and David sitting in hot tub) Site blockers. They don't let us use cups. So I started thinking, who could handle this? Who would know what to do? David Wallace would know what to do. What should I do, David Wallace?David WallaceOpen quote: I don't know. I mean, what can you do?Michael ScottOpen quote: Exactly. What are you thinking?David WallaceOpen quote: I, I - It's a tough one.Michael ScottOpen quote: It is a tough one.David WallaceOpen quote: I don't have any ideas for you there.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah. But one would be good.David WallaceOpen quote: Hey, oh, okay. Wait.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay.David WallaceOpen quote: I want to tell you about a business idea I have.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay.David WallaceOpen quote: Ok? You know how kids leave their toys everywhere? Okay. So this is a vacuum. It's like a shop-vac type of thing. (imitates vacuum) Teaches kids how to pick up their own toys. Right? Baseball gloves, hacky sacks, drumsticks. (sucking noise) Picks it up!Michael ScottOpen quote: So the kid's making the noise to pick it up.David WallaceOpen quote: No. No, no, no. That's the -that's the vacuum noise.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, okay.David WallaceOpen quote: You-you don't like it.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, I think it is-David WallaceOpen quote: No, it's ok. Another guy from Dunder Mifflin, Arnie from Research, he's gonna draw up the prototype. And, uh... It's like shop-vac. (sucking noise) Did I say that?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yep.David WallaceOpen quote: It'll be ok.
Scene 345 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Hey, any fun weekend plans?Erin HannonOpen quote: No, you?Andy BernardOpen quote: Uh, no, actually. So nothing? No movies, or parties, or anything you might want to invite someone to?Erin HannonOpen quote: Nothing. It's wide open.Andy BernardOpen quote: Okay.
Scene 366 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: Hey, you know, if you want, I'm sure I can get Arnie on board if you wanted to join us for suck it. Work together again.Michael ScottOpen quote: The what?David WallaceOpen quote: Suck it. That's what it's called.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, okay.David WallaceOpen quote: Huh? Catchy. Kids'll love it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Like it.
Scene 371 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace. And Suck It is one of 'em.
Scene 385 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: See you later. (hugs Wallace)David WallaceOpen quote: Oh, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Bye now.David WallaceOpen quote: Thank you for coming.Michael ScottOpen quote: Thanks for having me.
Scene 391 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Well, that's not the David Wallace that I remember. (reverses out of driveway, Wallace follows him) That is some sort of weird creature that lives in David Wallace's house. Oh, my god. Alright. Just get me out of here.
Scene 401 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Hello. (comes in carrying 4 gallons of orange juice and his water bottle) Is anybody home? Oh, thank you, Erin. Now if everyone would please ready their canteens, so I can fill them with the sweet, sweet nectar of Gabe's homeland, and then propose a toast. Here we go.
Scene 411 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: You know when people say getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them? I feel sorry for those people. That's the best thing? Really? Ugh.
Scene 4211 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Well, I'm not really one for making speeches.EveryoneOpen quote: Yes. Yes, you are. You make a lot.Michael ScottOpen quote: But I feel pretty good right now. I really do. A lot better than I did earlier. Let me tell you.Angela MartinOpen quote: That's your toast?Michael ScottOpen quote: No. This is my toast. I think this whole thing with Sabre is going to work out. I have a very good feeling about it.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Michael, this isn't a toast. You're just thinking out loud.Michael ScottOpen quote: Here's my toast. Orange juice is in here. And, like Saber, it is from Florida, and it is good.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Just 'cause you have liquid that doesn't make it a toast.Michael ScottOpen quote: Here's the toast. I'm gonna do it now. Raise your container to us and to Sabre.EveryoneOpen quote: To us and to Sabre.Michael ScottOpen quote: Mm. Wow. That is metallicy. Ugh. That's like drinking a battery. Ah, really gets you in the fillings, doesn't it? Okay, anyway, welcome.
Scene 4314 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: (singing) Well, it's a mess, what a mess. What you gonna do? You're going to take out your Suck It and you suck it. Suck it. Yeah, take out your Suck It and you suck it.TeddyOpen quote: Suck it!David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah!TeddyOpen quote: Suck it!David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah!TeddyOpen quote: Suck it!David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah! Take out the Suck It and we'll...TeddyOpen quote: Suck it!David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah!TeddyOpen quote: Suck it!David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah!BothOpen quote: Take out my Suck It and we'll suck it.David WallaceOpen quote: Yeah! Teddy!TeddyOpen quote: Yeah. (high-five each other)