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Stress Relief Vol. 5 · Issue 13 The Office · NBC Scranton, PA
Here's the absolute chaos of Dwight’s fire drill gone wrong. You'll find every line from the episode right here, from the CPR training gone south to Michael’s legendary roast session. It’s a great way to find that one Stanley quote or follow the Jack Black movie subplot through the full script.
Dwight Schrute Open quote: Last week I gave a fire safety talk. (clears throat) And nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. (lights a cigarette) Today, smoking is gonna save lives. (throws cigarette into garbage can filled with paper and lighter fluid) Michael Scott Open quote: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm. Dwight Schrute Open quote: That's preposterous. Michael Scott Open quote: Nobody should have to go to work thinking, "Oh, this is the place that I might die today." That's what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true. Michael Scott Open quote: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Rose Open quote: Yeah, okay. You didn't maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't arrive because nobody called 911. So you lost him. Dwight Schrute Open quote: Okay, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? Michael Scott Open quote: (in a monk-impression tone) Ohmmm... Ohmmm... Everybody sit on the floor Indian style like me. (Meredtih sits Indian style in a dress exposing herself right in front of Michael) Ohmmm my God if you're wearing a dress please keep your knees together nobody wants to see that ohmmm... ohmmm... Kevin Malone Open quote: Michael, I think you're what's stressing everybody out. Meredith Palmer Open quote: Michael? You ran over me with your car. You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said "Gross"... Dwight Schrute Open quote: Attention everyone I just got a text from Michael. He says personnel day. Are we hiring? Jim Halpert Open quote: He just sent a text... Creed Bratton Open quote: What's a text?