Dunder Mifflin, Inc.Best Office Lines

The Cover-Up

Vol. 6 · Issue 22Scranton, PA

Here's the spot for every line from the episode where Michael tackles his suspicions about Donna with a healthy dose of mayonnaise and olives. You can read through the full script to see Dwight’s failed gym seduction or Andy’s attempt to blow the lid off the Sabre printer fire conspiracy. It’s all here, from the Morse code cold open to that awkward realization at the end.

Scene 01

4 lines
Dwight Schrute
Stop it!
Jim Halpert
Stop what?
Dwight Schrute
You're talking about me in Morse Code. Well, you know what? Joke's on you 'cause I know Morse Code. Ha!
Jim Halpert
(chuckles) Yeah. That's what we're doing. In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

Scene 02

2 lines
Jim Halpert
Yup. That's exactly what we did.
Pam Beesly
It all started when Dwight was tapping his foot against the leg of his desk. When I asked him to stop, he said, "I will when you lose the baby weight."

Scene 03

1 line
Dwight Schrute
Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize. (Pam clacking her stapler and Jim responding with tapping his keyboard rhythmically) Detonator. Detonator where? Michael!

Scene 04

5 lines
Michael Scott
Jim. Are you clicking a detonator?
Jim Halpert
It's a pen.
Dwight Schrute
Michael, come on.
Michael Scott
Get back to work, Dwight. Please.
Dwight Schrute
Fine. (clears throat) Hey. Tap away. (Dwight puts noise-cancelling headphones on and Pam and Jim begin to blink rhythmically)

Scene 05

1 line
Michael Scott
Ooh! Things with Donna are so... oh-ho-ho! They're going great. I, uh... we're just clicking on every level. Emotionally and sexually and... orally and I am not used to relationships going this well. I'm actually having trouble focusing on my job. And I like it!

Scene 06

38 lines
Michael Scott
Who enjoys the weekends? (all raise hands) Of course. Now the weekend is always great if you have someone, which I do. I have Donna. She is hot. She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have sex. Did I say that? Yes, I did. (all nod) And the reason you are here is that I need ideas for things that Donna and I could do on the weekend. So just shout it out.
Stanley Hudson
I have an idea for your weekend.
Michael Scott
Okay.
Stanley Hudson
Let me get back to my desk right now.
Michael Scott
Okay, you get out of here, big dog. (high-fives Stanley) Ah, no, no, no, no. You guys sit down. I need ideas.
Pam Beesly
Stanley got to go.
Michael Scott
Yeah, well, Stanley doesn't help with anything. Come on. Shout 'em out, shout 'em out.
Andy Bernard
Walk around apple orchards.
Michael Scott
Oh!
Andy Bernard
Super romantic.
Michael Scott
That's fun.
Dwight Schrute
Eel fishing.
Michael Scott
All right.
Darryl Philbin
Curl up with your favorite DVD.
Meredith Palmer
You and Donna should hit the Poconos. They have heart-shaped Jacuzzis. Room enough for three.
Michael Scott
We actually went to the Poconos last Tuesday. We headed up there, we went to a little Chinese bistro, um, P.F. Chang's.
Kelly Kapoor
Wait, why would you go all the way to the Poconos to P.F. Chang's when we have the Great Wall in Scranton.
Michael Scott
Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, "I wanna go to Mount Pocono," you go to Mount Pocono and you do her. And we screwed. Whoops. TMI.
Kelly Kapoor
Wait, that's crazy far. Are you sure she's not cheating?
Michael Scott
You know what, Kelly? This is the real world. Not The Real World: Scranton. Oh my God, this is super weird. When Ryan had two girlfriends, he used to take me to some diner in Hazelton just so the other girl wouldn't see.
Ryan Howard
Some diner?! It was the Starlight Diner! It's in a LIFE magazine spread about Americana.
Michael Scott
You guys think Donna's cheating on me?
Pam Beesly
No, Michael, no.
Dwight Schrute
Are you nuts?
Pam Beesly
You had a nice meal with your girlfriend in a lovely place...
Michael Scott
... and... we had sex, too.
Pam Beesly
That is right. Don't make any more of it.
Michael Scott
How?
Pam Beesly
How what?
Michael Scott
How do I not make any more of it?
Pam Beesly
You could start by concluding this meeting.
Michael Scott
All right. (all stand up to leave) And she won't say, "I love you."
Dwight Schrute
Oh, no.
Andy Bernard
How many dates have you been on?
Michael Scott
Nine dates. I said it on the second date.
Andy Bernard
Mm.
Oscar Martinez
That seems... quick. Even for lesbians.
Ryan Howard
Does she keep her phone locked around you, Michael? Does she watch how much she drinks around you, Michael?

Scene 07

1 line
Ryan Howard
Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex? Does she...

Scene 08

13 lines
Michael Scott
Yeah, she does all that.
Ryan Howard
Sorry, dude.
Michael Scott
No, no...
Pam Beesly
Michael, do not let your imagination run amok.
Michael Scott
Run what?
Pam Beesly
Amok. It means, don't let your imagination run out of control.
Michael Scott
Why didn't you just say that, Pam?
Pam Beesly
Michael, do not let your imagination run out of control.
Michael Scott
Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.
Jim Halpert
You do?
Michael Scott
Yes, Jim, I do. And I can't stay in a relationship that is full of lies and deceit.
Jim Halpert
But you didn't believe any of this was true five minutes ago.
Michael Scott
That's what makes it so wrong.

Scene 09

1 line
Michael Scott
Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept. This not knowing, that's what's killing me.

Scene 10

9 lines
Dwight Schrute
Oh, God, that tickles. What did...
Michael Scott
(whispers) I want someone to follow Donna. I want her tailed. I need the name of a good private investigator.
Dwight Schrute
I think I've got one for you. (hands Michael a business card)
Michael Scott
This is you. How much do you charge?
Dwight Schrute
$100 a day, plus expenses.
Michael Scott
I'll give you $50. Money's no object.
Dwight Schrute
I'm just gonna warn you... and I say this to all my clients... you might not like what I find.
Michael Scott
Okay.
Dwight Schrute
And you might not like how I find it. (slides over table, leaves)

Scene 11

2 lines
Andy Bernard
Of course. Yeah, that's terrible. Okay, let me get back to you. Hey, Stanley. One of my clients just called and said that their Sabre printer started smoking and caught on fire.
Stanley Hudson
My doctor told me to cut out hot dogs. We all got problems.

Scene 12

12 lines
Andy Bernard
Hey, Gabe I need to talk to you about something. It's really important.
Gabe Lewis
There's no way that you guys have any almond butter, right?
Andy Bernard
Yeah, I don't know. Look, one of my clients called. He was in the middle of a big printing job and the back of the printer started smoking and then the paper tray caught on fire.
Gabe Lewis
That's weird. I haven't heard of that happening. I would even settle for apricot preserves.
Andy Bernard
What are we gonna do about this?
Gabe Lewis
I don't know. Call HQ, see if they know anything. Yeah. That's what I'll do today. All right. Yeah.
Andy Bernard
Let me know what they say.
Darryl Philbin
(puts newspaper down) Wow. That dude is good.
Andy Bernard
What do you mean?
Darryl Philbin
You didn't feel like he was hiding something?
Andy Bernard
I don't know.
Darryl Philbin
Like he was... covering something up? Maybe.

Scene 13

1 line
Darryl Philbin
Two years ago, Andy blamed the warehouse for a late shipment that he forgot to process. We got yelled at pretty bad. Almost lost my job, and I was mad as hell at the time. But I said "Darryl, just wait. He's a fool. There's gonna be an opportunity. Just be patient." (smiles)

Scene 14

6 lines
Dwight Schrute
(sitting on his Firebird's hood in front of a gym) Hi stranger.
Donna
Oh, hi. You work for Michael.
Dwight Schrute
I work with Michael.
Donna
Right.
Dwight Schrute
Dwight Schrute. (they shake hands)
Donna
Donna, hi.

Scene 15

1 line
Dwight Schrute
All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out if Donna Is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news.

Scene 16

26 lines
Jim Halpert
That's interesting. Wow, it's a little early for ice cream, don't you think?
Michael Scott
It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.
Pam Beesly
Oh!...
Jim Halpert
Oh, my God
Michael Scott
It's comfort food, all right? (disgustedly) God.
Jim Halpert
You know Michael, this whole Donna thing is gonna be okay, you just... stop beating yourself up.
Michael Scott
I know. Well, I hope you're right. We'll see what Dwight says.
Pam Beesly
Why do we have to see what Dwight says?
Michael Scott
Because I have him investigating her. I'm waiting for a text update.
Jim Halpert
Michael, no...
Pam Beesly
No, no, no, no. Undo that. Undo that.
Michael Scott
It's too late to undo it. I need to know. Otherwise this thing is going to spiral out of amok.
Pam Beesly
Michael. Okay, I'm... I'm going to talk straight to you because I think you need to hear it. Michael.
Michael Scott
God, this is so disgusting.
Pam Beesly
Stop eating it! Do you wanna be happy? Look at you. You have a major self-destructive streak in you.
Michael Scott
I know.
Pam Beesly
And you kind of torpedo every romantic relationship you're in.
Michael Scott
That's not true. (Pam stares him down) You're right, I ruin everything. And I've known some wonderful women. Holly, Carol, Jan.
Pam Beesly
Helene.
Michael Scott
Helene?
Pam Beesly
My mother.
Michael Scott
Oh.
Pam Beesly
My mother, Helene. (Jim shakes his head)
Michael Scott
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes. All of, all of the greatest loves of my life.
Jim Halpert
You should stop this, (pulls away mayo and olives bowl) and you should call Dwight right now.
Michael Scott
(sighs) All right. (calls Dwight)

Scene 17

7 lines
Dwight Schrute
(at gym, looks ready to work out, checks phone, and tries to grab Donna's attention) Oh, gosh, we were both going for the same weight at the same time; you go ahead.
Donna
Thank you.
Dwight Schrute
It's all yours. (strains loudly to lift two dumbbells and a free weight chained to strap around his head) Ah! (after first rep, Dwight is injured)
Donna
You okay?
Dwight Schrute
Yeah, I'm good. Hey, you know an exercise for two people that uses the whole body?
Donna
(chuckles) Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.
Dwight Schrute
Tractor pulling. Too bad there's not a tractor here.

Scene 18

5 lines
Dwight Schrute
(moaning loudly on exercise machine while staring at Donna who's next to him) Oh. Oh. Oh. (groans loudly) One thing you need to know about me. I don't quit until something tears or pops. (chuckles) You look like you're getting a good workout. Can I feel your pulse?
Donna
Nope. I'm good, thanks.
Dwight Schrute
Really? Hey, um... (Dwight gets up and walks sorely from his "workout")
Old lady
Look, young man, can you wipe down that seat?
Dwight Schrute
Get out of my way. Huh!

Scene 19

5 lines
Dwight Schrute
Tomorrow's fertilizer, am I right?
Donna
I'm out of here.
Dwight Schrute
Donna. Donna, wait, please. I'm sorry. Okay? Listen. We both know why I'm here: to see... you... naked... while... I'm... naked.
Donna
You stay away from me, or I'm calling security.
Dwight Schrute
Donna, come... Ah! Grr! Ugh! (Dwight is very sore from his "workout" and cannot chase Donna)

Scene 20

15 lines
Michael Scott
You're back. What happened?
Dwight Schrute
Oh, I pulled muscles in both my thighs. Thanks for asking.
Michael Scott
No, what happened with Donna?
Dwight Schrute
Yeah, no. She's not cheating. Oh, man! Will you help me work out this knot? Right here. (near his groin)
Michael Scott
Ugh!
Dwight Schrute
Put your fingers here.
Michael Scott
No. No! Are you sure?
Dwight Schrute
I'm positive. Yeah, oh, and here's your expense receipts right there.
Michael Scott
Who eats eight protein bars?
Dwight Schrute
People who don't trust egg whites.
Michael Scott
Okay. Well, I am just glad this is all over.
Dwight Schrute
Oh, me too. And by the way, uh, I told her not to, but she's coming over here and she's furious.
Michael Scott
What? No, she didn't say that.
Dwight Schrute
You're right. I was paraphrasing. What she actually said was, (pulls out notebook) "What is with him? He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I have no other recourse but to tell her and gym security that you had me sent there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [lays down gym membership receipt on a chair in Michael's office.
Michael Scott
I am not paying for that membership.

Scene 21

7 lines
Michael Scott
(sitting on the floor behind Erin's desk, sighs) Ohhh... mmm...
Erin Hannon
Maybe you'd be more comfortable in your own office.
Michael Scott
No, I like the attention. Is she here yet?
Erin Hannon
Uh, no. (Michael sighs, Donna enters) Wait, yes.
Michael Scott
That's her?
Erin Hannon
Yeah.
Michael Scott
Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Right. (Michael pretends to be speaking on the phone as Donna approaches) Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Scene 22

15 lines
Donna
How could you think I would cheat on you?
Michael Scott
I didn't. Everybody else here did. Everybody convinced me that something was up. They poisoned my mind.
Donna
That's pathetic.
Michael Scott
Ye... pfff. Well, no. It's a lie. That's not what happened. I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.
Donna
When I tell you I like you, you need to trust me, not some freak. (Dwight is gulping some sort of power shake)
Michael Scott
If you wanna dump me, I totally get it.
Donna
I told you I like you.
Michael Scott
Well, you are boner-ific. (Donna laughs)
Donna
Hey, if I said that we should go away for a couple of days, you would...
Michael Scott
...poop my pants.
Donna
Have you ever been to Vero Beach?
Michael Scott
Oh, my God, Vero Beach. No. Is that on the water?
Donna
We're going.
Michael Scott
We are?
Donna
Yeah.

Scene 23

3 lines
Andy Bernard
What's up? I got your e-mail.
Darryl Philbin
Close the door.
Andy Bernard
Okay.

Scene 24

1 line
Darryl Philbin
I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz. (scatting) Andy don't mess with me. (continues scatting) I'll figure something out.

Scene 25

6 lines
Darryl Philbin
Some freaky stuff going on. I was walking behind Gabe and I heard some things.
Andy Bernard
Such as?
Darryl Philbin
It was kind of mumbled, I don't know, uh, only thing I could make out clearly was "Andy," "Problem," "Eliminate," something. I don't know what it meant.
Andy Bernard
What? You don't know what it meant? How about "Andy is a problem and we must eliminate him?"
Darryl Philbin
Whoa. I hadn't even thought of that.
Andy Bernard
(chuckles nervously) Yeah. Hah. Hoo.

Scene 26

12 lines
Kelly Kapoor
Oh, hey, I love your earrings.
Donna
Thank you.
Kelly Kapoor
Did Michael get them for you?
Donna
No, I bought them myself.
Kelly Kapoor
Where?
Donna
Steamtown Mall.
Kelly Kapoor
Claire's? Zales? Ricky's? Earring, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where?
Donna
You know, I actually got them in Philadelphia, in a mall down there.
Kelly Kapoor
Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor's Place?
Donna
Uh, Franklin Mills.
Jim Halpert
(to Pam) What?
Pam Beesly
Hmm? Oh. It's probably nothing.

Scene 27

3 lines
Pam Beesly
Okay, heart-shaped jewelry is not something that a woman buys for herself. A man definitely bought it for her recently, and it wasn't Michael.
Jim Halpert
Wait, so are you... you like heart-shaped jewelry, though, right?
Pam Beesly
No. Except for the pendant that you bought me. Which I love.

Scene 28

1 line
Creed Bratton
Psst... (Creed walks by Andy and draws his right index finger across his neck, further scaring Andy, Andy looks over at Darryl who is staring him down)

Scene 29

1 line
Andy Bernard
Creed's head of quality assurance. So he'd definitely be wrapped up in this.

Scene 30

1 line
Creed Bratton
So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. (draws finger across neck) Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.

Scene 31

1 line
Pam Beesly
So it turns out Donna and I have a facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. (pulls out picture of Donna embracing a man and smiling) This was taken two weeks ago. And this was taken the same night. (pulls out a picture of Donna kissing the same man) This photo was taken this morning. (shows a baby picture) It's Cece. (laughs) She's never gonna do anything wrong.

Scene 32

23 lines
Donna
Isn't that something?
Michael Scott
Wow. (Pam knocks on Michaels door and goes in) That's exciting.
Pam Beesly
Hey, Michael.
Michael Scott
Hey.
Pam Beesly
I'm sorry to interrupt you. Um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about, business related.
Michael Scott
Well it can wait. It can wait.
Pam Beesly
I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim. We're... I just... you're the only person I can talk to.
Michael Scott
Jim is her husband.
Donna
Oh.
Pam Beesly
And...
Michael Scott
And they are having problems, so sh...
Pam Beesly
No, not... we're not... we're not having problems. But it is personal. And I would love...
Michael Scott
Good in bed.
Pam Beesly
Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.
Michael Scott
Oh, my God. Look at how cheap street level rooms are. Am I the only person who enjoys people watching?
Pam Beesly
(loudly) I need you to sign this! So bad!
Michael Scott
Okay, weirdo.
Pam Beesly
I love (leans over Michael's desk to look at his computer screen)... this idea is neat. I've never been. It sounds lovely. (meanwhile Michael looks at the pictures Pam printed out)
Donna
Yeah I think it'll be a nice trip. We're gonna get a lot done.
Pam Beesly
(to Michael) You're gonna wanna look at the date on that. Oh, wow. Look at... golfing. (to Donna) Are you a golfer?
Donna
I am, but I, I gave my clubs away. I swear too much. (Pam and Donna both laugh) Hey, you okay? (to Michael, walking away disappointedly)
Michael Scott
Yeah, I just remembered that I have to go to the bathroom. Pam?
Pam Beesly
Absolutely. (both leave Michael's office)

Scene 33

7 lines
Darryl Philbin
Look, I'm not down there anymore, so if the guys start making fun of you, you just, you gotta stand up for yourself.
Glen
I know, it's just, I'm scared...
Andy Bernard
Your text said 911.
Darryl Philbin
Glen, could you excuse us? (Andy slams the door after Glen leaves, panting heavily)
Darryl Philbin
It's bad.
Andy Bernard
What's bad?
Darryl Philbin
It's real bad.

Scene 34

1 line
Darryl Philbin
Still no plan.

Scene 35

8 lines
Andy Bernard
Oh, God.
Darryl Philbin
It's getting bigger.
Andy Bernard
I might have to go public here, but no one's gonna believe me. Uh... I need proof. I need, like, a printer to catch on fire.
Darryl Philbin
I can videotape it.
Andy Bernard
Yeah.
Darryl Philbin
(to camera) There it is.
Andy Bernard
There what is?
Darryl Philbin
What?

Scene 36

17 lines
Michael Scott
Who the hell is this? Who is this guy?
Pam Beesly
I don't know who he is.
Michael Scott
God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above Toby. You know what?
Pam Beesly
What?
Michael Scott
I'm gonna kill him. No, I'm not. I feel... I... no, I'm not going to kill him.
Pam Beesly
You just have to go in there. You have to hear it from her.
Michael Scott
I have to hear it from her.
Pam Beesly
You have to settle down first.
Michael Scott
I need to have her tell me herself. Right?
Pam Beesly
Okay. Okay. Yes.
Michael Scott
I need to have her say...
Pam Beesly
Yeah, but you have to calm...
Michael Scott
I need to say, "What the hell is that? What the hell is that?"
Pam Beesly
Okay. Look at this, look at this. Baby picture.
Michael Scott
No, God! No, no, oh, my God!
Pam Beesly
(in baby voice) Hi, Michael, hi, Michael
Michael Scott
(calms down) Okay. Okay. Okay.

Scene 37

1 line
Gabe Lewis
(to Andy) I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. (smiles) We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. (pulls out gift card) That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts. (Andy looks over at Darryl and Darryl motions for Andy to go to him)

Scene 38

19 lines
Michael Scott
You know what? We should really do something fun this week.
Donna
Yeah, we should.
Michael Scott
Wouldn't that be fun?
Donna
Yeah.
Michael Scott
How about Thursday?
Donna
Thursday works. Yeah, what do you wanna do?
Michael Scott
I can't do Thursday. Book club. How about Friday?
Donna
Oh, Friday doesn't work.
Michael Scott
Oh, really? 'cause I was thinking we could go to this concert. Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row. It'd be a great, great concert.
Donna
Shoot. I'm working.
Michael Scott
Oh okay. Well, maybe I could stop by.
Donna
Well, won't you be at the concert?
Michael Scott
Nope, that's Tuesday.
Donna
Oh, well, I can make it on Tuesday.
Michael Scott
You're cheating. You're cheating on me.
Donna
How do you know?
Michael Scott
Pam told me. (looks up at 2nd floor windows and so does Donna; Jim, Dwight, and Pam are visible on conference room window, they all scramble as soon as Donna and Michael look up, Pam throwing herself on the floor)
Pam Beesly
(gasps) Did she see me?
Jim Halpert
(to Pam on floor) Nice effort.

Scene 39

13 lines
Andy Bernard
(in old Michael Scott Paper Company's "office") We're printing on 24-pound premium stock paper, approximately 300 sheets in. So far, no signs of distress. (Darryl is filming Andy's demonstration)
Darryl Philbin
You haven't even introduced yourself.
Andy Bernard
Right. My name is Andrew Baines Bernard, and if you're watching this, it's because I've turned State's witness because I'm in danger because I know too much.
Darryl Philbin
You should talk in a higher voice 'cause the camera makes you sound weird.
Andy Bernard
Higher? Okay. (speaking slightly higher) Recently certain events have come to my attention...
Darryl Philbin
Higher. (motions with hand to go up more)
Andy Bernard
Make it higher? Okay.
Darryl Philbin
Mm-hmm
Andy Bernard
(high-pitched) I have come to the conclusion that the Sabre corporation...
Darryl Philbin
One more, yeah. (Again motions to go even higher)
Andy Bernard
(higher) May be overlooking certain safety regulations. At the danger... (printer starts smoking and explodes) ah! (speaking lower) It's working. (in normal voice) It's... I knew it!
Darryl Philbin
This... (removes camera headset)
Andy Bernard
We are blowin' the roof off! Blowin' the roof off! (Darryl discharges fire extinguisher onto printer) Nice. Nice. This is my partner, Darryl Philbin. He's been my partner through this entire thing.

Scene 40

1 line
Darryl Philbin
I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, go to church, try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank anymore.

Scene 41

5 lines
Michael Scott
Who is he?
Donna
What, what do you mean?
Michael Scott
The other man. Who's the guy? Who is it?
Donna
It's you. I'm married.
Michael Scott
I'm the mistress?

Scene 42

7 lines
Dwight Schrute
(on workout bicycle at gym) Okay, everybody, let's take this next hill.
Gym Instructor
Excuse me. Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you'd just let me run this.
Dwight Schrute
You know what? You had your chance. You're no leader. Out of your seat, let's blast!
Gym instructor
Don't listen to him, we're approaching a cooldown down a gentle hill.
Dwight Schrute
No! The hill's a trap. Let's take the dirt road off to the side.
Gym instructor
No, guys, no. We're just cooling down...
Dwight Schrute
If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. And three, two, one... jump! No! (points to those around him) You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump. You're barely alive. Okay, now nice cooldown. Check your pulse rate.