Scene 013 linesErin HannonOpen quote: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I jut won an art contest! (Erin screams, Pam and Jim look at each other, Dwight, laughing, gets up and hands her some money)Erin HannonOpen quote: (whispering) Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Shut up.
Scene 032 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Not cool, Dwight. (Dwight continues laughing)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Not cool. (Dwight still laughing)
Scene 041 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: (caught by camera crew dancing to "At the Car Wash", but laughing) Oh, no. I still have the lease on the Michael Scott Paper Company, so occasionally I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing. I actually dance all the time. Tip-toeing around corporate - it is a ballet. When I am breaking all the rules, I am break dancing. And expresso.
Scene 057 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant. Because look at this normal sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now. Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I do.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay. How about a woman? Pam?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an email. Jim and I need to leave early today to meet with our contractor.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, really? Ok.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Just sent it.Michael ScottOpen quote: What about the rest of you? (complete silence)
Scene 061 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: At Dunder-Mifflin there is a very strict no lunch with the boss policy and I don't know who instituted it. I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down, but at the Michael Scott Paper Company I really enjoyed having lunch with Pam and Ryan everyday. So, rules be damned, I wanna have lunch with these people.
Scene 072 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Who else? Who else? Ryan?Ryan HowardOpen quote: I don't do lunch. I'm eating five small meals a day now.
Scene 081 lineRyan HowardOpen quote: Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that food is one thing I can control.
Scene 096 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Ok. Anyone? Anyone? At all? Accounting? I am accounting on you to go to lunch with me.Angela MartinOpen quote: No. I don't want to stay late to have a two hour lunch.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Michael, we have a lot of work to do.Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Work.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ugh! God! What happened to you people? (talking like a robot) We are just office drones. We are office drones. All we do is work... is work.
Scene 112 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, no. Your battery fell out.Michael ScottOpen quote: (still talking like a robot) I... was just learning... to... love.
Scene 129 linesErin HannonOpen quote: Hi, guys. How you doing?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.Erin HannonOpen quote: Right. I'm sorry.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (sighs) Now, how can I help you?Erin HannonOpen quote: Did somebody here leave a map in the printer to Youngstown, Ohio?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court -Pam BeeslyOpen quote: So someone is going to a court. Big deal.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.Erin HannonOpen quote: Sure.
Scene 1312 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: There are other reasons to go to Ohio.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: We're getting married today.Jim HalpertOpen quote: So, it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a 3 day waiting period.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Tell 'em how it happened.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Ok. So, we're going through all the wedding plans and, boy, it is complicated.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: And very expensive.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Very expensive. Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great but then you have to invite -Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You can't leave anyone out.Jim HalpertOpen quote: No one.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Ok, just get to the good part.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Ok. Right. Oh, so this morning we are having breakfast together and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, " You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you."Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
Scene 1418 linesErin HannonOpen quote: Michael? Michael sorry to bother you. Are you going to be working down here? Do you want these down here now?Michael ScottOpen quote: No work. No work. No work. I come in here to release frustration. Ooh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ooh.Erin HannonOpen quote: Well, I like to swim.Michael ScottOpen quote: That's good.Erin HannonOpen quote: You have a cool place to come hang.Michael ScottOpen quote: If you ever want to come down here, door's always open, lock's broken, so...Erin HannonOpen quote: Thanks.Michael ScottOpen quote: Come on in. Hey, hey, hey. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah.Erin HannonOpen quote: Wow.Michael ScottOpen quote: Now you got it.Erin HannonOpen quote: Now I do got it.Michael ScottOpen quote: Now you got it. Hey, you want some espresso?Erin HannonOpen quote: Oh, yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: You gotta keep yourself dehydrated.Erin HannonOpen quote: That's rule #1.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok. I love it. I love it.Erin HannonOpen quote: Whew.Michael ScottOpen quote: I love it.
Scene 151 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Guys, I believe that I have figured out what is up your butts. There's no reason to be scared. The bad man is gone.Charles is gone.
Scene 161 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Charles really did a number on these guys. They are way too focused on work. When I was in charge, this place was like Dave and Buster's People just hanging out, having, fun, eating apps. I don't know. It's like (pause) Dave died or something.
Scene 1726 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Daddy's here and daddy is going to take care of you.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.Michael ScottOpen quote: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss da boo boo.Andy BernardOpen quote: (baby voice) Wittle Andy is afwaid.Michael ScottOpen quote: Andy's afwaid?Andy BernardOpen quote: Yes.Michael ScottOpen quote: Are you all afwaid?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels. Ok. I think that I have figured a way to get you guys out of your funk.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What?Michael ScottOpen quote: Funk is the problem and the solution.Jim HalpertOpen quote: That makes sense.Michael ScottOpen quote: I've taken my downstairs office and I have turned it into a place to hang out. A place where unattractive and attractive people can get together. To meet. To greet. To see the ones that you love. To love the ones that you see.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Is this our punishment for not wanting to have lunch with you?Michael ScottOpen quote: Why don't you get over lunch, Oscar? Everybody else is past it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (Jack Nicholson impression) All work and no play makes Michael a dull boy.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: This is like a haunted coffeehouse thing?Michael ScottOpen quote: No. Dwight is confusing you. That - it's, it's more of a disco.Andy BernardOpen quote: It's like a haunted disco.Michael ScottOpen quote: ... with coffee but without the haunted.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: It's a combo dance house coffee bar.Michael ScottOpen quote: It's a daytime disco on the ground floor of and industrial office building.Erin HannonOpen quote: It's a cafe disco.Michael ScottOpen quote: Exactly.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: So, like, a disco cafe?Michael ScottOpen quote: Wha - No. No. Not even close. I can't force you to go down but I can entice you. I'm gonna be down there. Erin will be down there from time to time... and all-you-can-eat espresso.
Scene 1825 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Well, Kevin, I guess it is just me and you.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: Holdin' down the fort.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yeah. This place is great.Michael ScottOpen quote: Thank you.Angela MartinOpen quote: Oh, my God, Kevin. I am still on hold. You were supposed to get the answer from Michael and come back up.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I'm sorry.Michael ScottOpen quote: This is a no work zone. Please respect the lei.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yeah. Respect the lei.Angela MartinOpen quote: Come.Michael ScottOpen quote: Kevin, stay.Angela MartinOpen quote: Kevin, come.Michael ScottOpen quote: Kevin, stay.Angela MartinOpen quote: Kevin, come.Michael ScottOpen quote: Stay, stay.Angela MartinOpen quote: Come on, right now.Michael ScottOpen quote: Cookie. Kevin, cookie.Angela MartinOpen quote: Ugh. There is no cookie, Kevin.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: (to Michael) Is there a cookie?Michael ScottOpen quote: Mmm-hmm.Angela MartinOpen quote: Wha -Michael ScottOpen quote: Come on.Angela MartinOpen quote: Oh, for goodness sakes, Kevin. There's no cookie. There's no cookie. Come on. Come.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: I wanted a cookie.Angela MartinOpen quote: Completely unacceptable.
Scene 191 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Now I know what the founders of Phillip-Morris felt like. you just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
Scene 208 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: (Michael is holding the stereo speaker up to a vent - blaring "[Gonna Make You Sweat) Everybody Dance Now", spins in chair] Oww!Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Aw, what the hell? (goes to Vance Refrigeration) Hi, Jessica. Is Bob in?JessicaOpen quote: Oh, he's on a call.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Oh, I'll just duck my head in.JessicaOpen quote: It's pretty important. He wouldn't want to be disturbed. Can I give him a message before he gets off?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Tell him I'm going dancing downstairs in the storage closet between the bathrooms that used to be a utility shower and he should join me there.JessicaOpen quote: I'll let him know.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Mmm-hmm.
Scene 2121 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Phyllis?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Hi.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey!Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Hey. I like.Michael ScottOpen quote: (starts dancing with Phyllis) Alright. Back. There you are. There you go. Good. Good. Ooh. Show me some attitude.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Oh! Mother ******!Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, God! No! No! No! No! No!Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Back!Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, wow! What did you do?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: (moans in pain)Michael ScottOpen quote: You didn't do that. You're ok. You're ok. Let's lie down. You want to go down? Alright.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Wow! Sorry!Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok. That's ok. That's not a problem. Ok, sweetie.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! I got your text. Who's Phillip?Michael ScottOpen quote: No. No. No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: It's my back.Michael ScottOpen quote: It's her back. We just - We need - Let's - You know what?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Call a doctor.Michael ScottOpen quote: We're going to take care of you. We're gonna get you help. Let's - come on.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: No. Call Bob.
Scene 225 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh, no. No. No. This is no good.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't need you to give me a history lesson. Ok?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What do you think history is?Michael ScottOpen quote: It's just, we need to get her out of here because no one is going to want to go in there with a woman writhing around on the floor. Wait, wait, wait. But most importantly we need to get her some medical attention. ASAP. Stat.
Scene 2319 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (barging through office door) Alright. Here we go.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Out of the way! Move it or lose it!Michael ScottOpen quote: You having fun?Erin HannonOpen quote: Oh, my God! What happened?Michael ScottOpen quote: What? Oh, just having to much fun. Phyllis, we're going to put you in here. Dwight's going to take care of you.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: What? No. I thought we were going to the hospital.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You want to get sick you go to the hospital.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok, Dwight. Ok. Good. I do not want anyone to worry.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: What happened to Phyllis?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, you know. Nohting. She's - we were hanging out at Cafe Disco and she had a flare up of am existing injury. But she's a tough, old bird. So...Angela MartinOpen quote: Can you please go back to work instead of masterminding these situations were in we hurt ourselves?Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok. Phyllis did injure herself. But she injured herself having fun and I don't think she would trade that memory for anything. (Phyllis can be heard screaming in the backgroud)Stanley HudsonOpen quote: I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense.Michael ScottOpen quote: You all took a life here today. you did. The life of the party. Erin?Erin HannonOpen quote: Yes.Michael ScottOpen quote: I want you to go downstairs and I want you to shut it down.Erin HannonOpen quote: Like unplug the coffee machine and bring it up here.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't care. Bury it. I hope you're happy.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (exits the conference room in an undershirt) I'm gonna need two able bodied men.
Scene 2411 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: Cafe Disco? More like Crappe Disco.Erin HannonOpen quote: You're bad. (they turn off the lights and turn on music - start dancing)Vance Refrigeration Guy 1Open quote: There's girl in there.Vance Refrigeration Guy 2Open quote: Where?VRG 1Open quote: The other room?VRG 2Open quote: What other room?VRG 1Open quote: Down the hall.VRG 2Open quote: There's girls in there?VRG 1Open quote: What'd I just say?VRG 2Open quote: You have another sandwich?VRG 1Open quote: Forget the sandwich. Girls. Girls.
Scene 251 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I guess they got what they want. I am eating alone. Might as well be dinner.
Scene 264 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: You comfy? Alright? Alright. Relax. Relax, ok?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Dwight! Dwight!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Come on. Relax. The shirt wasn't doing you any favors. If my assessment in correct, you grind your teeth?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I do.
Scene 271 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: No kidding! She sits three feet from me. It's the most annoying thing. (mimics grinding teeth) It's like children singing Christmas carols.
Scene 285 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Yeah! I love the vibe down here.Erin HannonOpen quote: Ashley! You made it!Oscar MartinezOpen quote: You invited someone?Erin HannonOpen quote: Oh, yeah. Was I not allowed to do that?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: I've been here 8 years and I've never... (Erin walks away) Rude.
Scene 302 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Cafe Disco is dead but I can still hear the music in my head.Creed BrattonOpen quote: I hear it, too, Boss.
Scene 324 linesPhyllis VanceOpen quote: That feels good, Dwight.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Tell me where it hurts.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Right... mmmm... right there.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh yeah. you've got a knot in your crest. This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations. and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. they were wrong. He came in 9th in the Apple Creek Derby and his jerky came in 3rd the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.
Scene 3310 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Welcome, welcome! Cafe Disco. I am Michael Scott.Erin HannonOpen quote: Hey, Angela! Welcome to -Angela MartinOpen quote: Stop!Michael ScottOpen quote: Angela. Angela. Angela. May I interest you in a triple espresso or perhaps a dance?Angela MartinOpen quote: No. I didn't come down here to get wet and wild. I just need you to sign these.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh. Alright. There you go.Angela MartinOpen quote: No. You need to sign them all.Michael ScottOpen quote: No. No. No. Here is the deal - one signature for every song.Angela MartinOpen quote: Look, I hate to be "that" person but I just don't like the general spirit of music.Michael ScottOpen quote: I know. I know, Angela. A lot of people doubted Cafe Disco at first but it is a magical place. You have to give it a chance. If these walls could tale they would say, " This is a magical place! You are safe here. We have talking walls. We're not going to eat you." (Angela shows Michael the papers again) No.
Scene 343 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: An hour? I can't stay here an hour.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, girl. Whoa. Whoa.
Scene 353 linesCreed BrattonOpen quote: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey, thank you, Creed. you're really getting this place.Creed BrattonOpen quote: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.
Scene 366 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: I'm gonna with the python.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: But the rattler's so scary.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No. Please. I find the rattle soothing. It puts me to sleep.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I think Bob is gonna cheat on me with his new secretary. (she starts to giggle)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What's so funny?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: When I say it out loud it's so silly. (they both laugh)
Scene 373 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey! Hey! Angela, no! No cleaning up!Angela MartinOpen quote: You are forcing me to be down here. Am I not allowed to have some fun?Michael ScottOpen quote: No... cleaning... up.
Scene 384 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: (waiting outside the bathroom for Pam, he is holding a hand-picked bouquet of flowers and pacing) These are for you.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: They're beautiful.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You ready?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah.
Scene 406 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey! Hey! Jim and Pam! Can you believe this? It's really happening.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Wanna dance, Dwight?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.Bob VanceOpen quote: Mind if I steal my wife?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You can't steal what is legally your property.Bob VanceOpen quote: Are those staples?
Scene 412 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: This dance competition is not over.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: What dance competition? I was just dancin' casual with my friends, y'all.
Scene 425 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: You guys are the best for coming. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I understand.Jim HalpertOpen quote: We're gonna stay.Michael ScottOpen quote: Really?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah. At least for one more dance.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, no. Not me. Not me. Get out of here. Cafe Disco! (Dwight hits Michael in ear) Hey! Come on, man. It's not even to "Y".
Scene 438 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: This is so cheesy.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yes.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I like cheesy.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Me, too.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah. I think maybe I want a "wedding" wedding.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Me, too.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Really?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah.
Scene 442 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Would you like to dance?Angela MartinOpen quote: No. (Camera pans to down to show her swinging her foot to the music)
Scene 4518 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Yeah. No. Well, ok.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Stop squirming.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well, stop trying to poke me with a sharp thing.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: You wanted to do this. Just be brave.Andy BernardOpen quote: I, I - but you're not a professional and I'm thinking maybe we should have gone to a professional.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: I'm doing it. No. I'm doing it for free. You have to stop squirming otherwise I'm gonna mess up.Andy BernardOpen quote: Are you sure that's not the "gay" ear?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Gay ear? Are you 12 years old?Andy BernardOpen quote: Well, I...Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Look, I'm gonna count to 3.Andy BernardOpen quote: Count to twen - count to twenty.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: No. I'm gonna count to 3.Andy BernardOpen quote: KKelly KapoorOpen quote: 1... 2... 3Andy BernardOpen quote: Agh! Son of a bitch!Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Andy, that was just the ice.Andy BernardOpen quote: It was?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Yeah. It was.