Scene 011 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: I really like Valentine's Day in this office. It's kinda like grade school. Everybody gives out little presents and stuff. Like last year, Jim gave me this card, with Dwight's head on it, it was horrifying and funny and...
Scene 022 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (Delivery man enters with a bouquet of red roses. Pam stands up to look at card.) Phyllis.Delivery manOpen quote: Would you sign here? (Phyllis gets up from desk and walks over.)
Scene 031 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: Roy and I are saving for the wedding, so I made him promise not to get me anything too big.
Scene 043 linesMeredith PalmerOpen quote: "Happy Valentine's Day darling. Love Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration."Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Isn't he sweet?Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Yeah. Wow.
Scene 0511 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Alright Dwight, as you know I am heading to New York today. (Dwight holds up passport.) Doing a presentation on the branch to the new CFO.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: And you want me to come with you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Nope. The opposite of that.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I will stay here and run things on this end.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok, good.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Question. Will you be seeing Jan when you're in New York?Michael ScottOpen quote: I probably will, why do you ask?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Well... It's Valentine's Day, and you guys, you know...Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Screwed.Michael ScottOpen quote: What is your problem?
Scene 061 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an email this morning. But, it is Valentine's Day. It's New York. City of Love.
Scene 075 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey, Pam. You heart N.Y., right? You want me to pick you up anything?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: That's OK.Michael ScottOpen quote: Alright.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: The best present would be, you do a good job in front of the new CFO.Michael ScottOpen quote: Dude, I'm gonna nail it. Me in New York? Oh, I own that city. Fuggedaboudit! See ya!
Scene 081 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Well here we go. On our way to New York. New York, New York. City so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.
Scene 091 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: So I broke up with Katy and haven't been dating anybody else, so this year I don't have to worry about Valentine's Day. It's gonna be good. I invited a couple of friends over. We're gonna play some cards and I'll end up winning a lotta money. Because, they're idiots. It's gonna be great.
Scene 105 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: What's this? What is this?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I dunno, it's on your desk.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yeah, but who put it here? And for what purpose?Jim HalpertOpen quote: It was there when I sat down.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (opens box and reads card) Happy Valentine's Day. (pulls out bobble head) It's me. I'm the bobble head. Yes! (Angela smirks in background) Ahh!
Scene 111 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: The meeting isn't 'til three, but I always like to come to New York little bit early and hit some of my favorite hunts, like right here, is my favorite New York pizza joint. And I'm gonna go get me a New York slice. (Michael walks toward Sbarro.)
Scene 1213 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: Hey Kelly. What's up?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Nothing. Oh except, oh my God Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally hooked up. It was awesome.Jim HalpertOpen quote: OH, that's great. I'm really happy for (starts to walk away)Kelly KapoorOpen quote: And it was so funny 'cause we were at this bar with his friends and I was sitting next to him the whole night and he wasn't making a move, so in my head I was like "Ryan, what's taking you so long?" And then he kissed me. And I didn't know what to say.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Wow.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: So I said, "Ryan, what took you so long?" And I just said that to him, can you believe that?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Wow.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Oh my God, Jim, is that embarrassing? I'm embarrassed.Jim HalpertOpen quote: No, don't be.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Oh, thank God, because I was nervous, Jim, you will not believe.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I bet.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: So nervous, but now -- now I have a boyfriend.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Alright. (Kelly squeals)
Scene 141 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Here it is, heart of New York City, Times Square. Named for the good times you have when you're in it. Most people when they come to New York, they go straight to the Empire State Building, that's pretty touristy. I come here. Great places to eat. (points) We have Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster down there. Ya know. This is, this is the heart of civilization, right here.
Scene 154 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Woah. (Delivery man with flowers)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Guess what?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Really, Oh, they're from Bob again.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: That's great. (Meredith scowls)
Scene 161 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Everybody takes the subway in New York. It's fast, it's efficient, gets you there on time. It's a way to (turns and rushes back up stairs) Okay, there's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.
Scene 171 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: This is the world famous Rockefeller Center. Founded, of course by Theodore Rockefeller. This is a skating rink and I think the Rangers practice there sometimes and it's, that's Tina Fey (points). That's Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live. Hello? Hello, hi? (walks over) OH, I'm sorry, I thought you were (Conan O'Brien walks in front of Michael), OK, I thought that was. She, she looked a lot like Tina Fey. (to camera) Hello, hello, I thought that was Tina Fey, but it wasn't. So... Are you serious? He was here? When, when I was talking to the fake Tina Fey? Come on! And are you, argh.
Scene 186 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Hello Angela. Did you hear, somebody rocked the house and got me the best present I've ever gotten.Angela MartinOpen quote: Really? I wouldn't know anything about that, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh I did. I did.Angela MartinOpen quote: I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, I bet you will before the day is over.Angela MartinOpen quote: Really? Well, I hope I do.
Scene 191 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I would love to live in New York someday. It's a big dream of mine. Work for corporate, with Jan. It'd be awesome. Go to Broadway shows, eat hot dogs. Scranton is great, but New York, is like Scranton on acid, no on speed, no on steroids. (Michael sees it's the end of a street.) OK, umm, I think, that's either the Hudson or the East, so we're back, should be back this way. There's a lotta pressure on me right now. It's like Michael Jordan, in the NBA finals. Or, like Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf, and this presentation is desert storm and as soon as it's over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore. Let's do it.
Scene 201 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: (on phone) Nah that's alright. Spend money on her, instead of giving it to us. That's fine. No, I didn't even have a seat for you anyway. Yeah, hahaha, alright man, have a good night. Bye.
Scene 217 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Woah, woah (Delivery man with oversized bear)Delivery manOpen quote: Phyllis Lapin.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: OH, Holy God!Delivery manOpen quote: It's from Bob.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Man, that thing's bigger than I am.Delivery manOpen quote: No, it's not.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Oh zip it.
Scene 2212 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: There they are. What's up? Hey hey.CraigOpen quote: Hey.JoshOpen quote: Michael Scott. (sticks out hand for handshake)Michael ScottOpen quote: Josh Porter, high five. (They high five) Bam.JoshOpen quote: You know Dan Gore from Buffalo.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, how ya doing? Nobody needs to introduce this guy. Craiggers. (bump fists)CraigOpen quote: What's up buddy?Michael ScottOpen quote: You have been kicked out of every strip club in Albany, is that true?CraigOpen quote: Guilty, yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: So what's going on? What I miss?JoshOpen quote: Not much, they're uh, I guess running late upstairs, so we're just waiting for the presentations.Michael ScottOpen quote: Cool. Good, good, good. Give us some time to catch up, and... (awkward silence)
Scene 233 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Pam. Hi, How ya doing? Good. Listen, uh may I speak with you... privately?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You can't fire me, Dwight, just 'cause Michael's not here.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No, Pam, Just. Just, (tilts head away, towards another room)
Scene 2410 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: You need to get something for your girlfriend.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (same time as Pam) Girlfriend. Yes, and the reason I didn't get anything for this particular person - who shall remain nameless - is that she's not really the kind of person you'd think would be into Valentine's Day. She's kind of...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Tightly wound?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (smirking) Exactly.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Ok, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like what it means, instead of what it is.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: You mean, like a ham?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No, not like a ham. It's about doing something, so that the person knows that you really care about her.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ok, I get it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: That you remember her.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ok, shut up. I know exactly what to do. (gets up and leaves)
Scene 2513 linesJoshOpen quote: What about you, Craig, you lose anyone?CraigOpen quote: Oh man, Jan, called me in September and said "You gotta fire four people," and I was just like, "What?" Ya know?JoshOpen quote: Did you?CraigOpen quote: No, I just ignored her. She's the worse.JoshOpen quote: She is our boss.CraigOpen quote: She ain't my boss dude. I don't work for that bitch.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ay, Kay. Come on, you know, that's not. Cool it.CraigOpen quote: What? You like Jan? How can you like Jan?Michael ScottOpen quote: Maybe because she's my girlfriend. (starts retracting statement) Was, or not my girlfriend. She's... we hooked up and...JoshOpen quote: You hooked up with Jan?Michael ScottOpen quote: You know, months ago, just once, It's, just stupid. Just forget it,JoshOpen quote: Yeah, let's change the subject.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, yeah.
Scene 269 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: I don't know what he's thinking, but I would just be so psyched if we just dated forever.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Take it slow. 'Cause it seems like a lot of the time things like that need... (Ryan walks in)Ryan HowardOpen quote: Soda.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: (to Ryan) Cool. Hey, so... do you want to... do something tonight? Or...Jim HalpertOpen quote: (under breath) Oh, no, not while I'm here.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: I mean, I know it's Valentine's Day, or whatever, but there's totally no pressure at all, of any kind. What so ever. So...Ryan HowardOpen quote: I can't tonight. I have plans with my friends.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: OK, That's cool. I completely understand.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Cool. Cool. OK.
Scene 278 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: Josh Porter, Stamford.David WallaceOpen quote: David (to Josh and shakes hands)JoshOpen quote: Nice to meet you.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: And Michael Scott, Scranton.David WallaceOpen quote: Nice to meet you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ditto. (to Jan) How are you Jan?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Fine Michael. Thank you.David WallaceOpen quote: OK. So we are in the process of doing a complete review of the company's financial strengths. All I'd like to do today is to...
Scene 281 lineJan LevinsonOpen quote: Nervous, no I'm not nervous. Well, I guess I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Umm, the new CFO is judging me on this too, and well, it is Michael, so. Yeah, I'm very nervous.
Scene 296 linesJoshOpen quote: So with the twelve new local accounts, we had a total of four percent organic growth, which was just above our pre-year targets.David WallaceOpen quote: Thanks very much.JoshOpen quote: Thank you.David WallaceOpen quote: OK, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: What is a business? Is it a collection of numbers and sales reports? Sure. But as you know, David and Jan, it is much more. (plays video on screen. David and Jan have confused looks on their faces.)Michael ScottOpen quote: (video dialogue for "The Faces of Scranton") Life moves a little slower in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And that's the way we like it. Because at Dunder Mifflin Scranton, we're not just in the paper business, we're in the people business. Let's meet some of the folks that make the Scranton branch so special. (video shows Stanley at desk) This is Stanley Hudson, one of our talented salesman. An African-American father of two, Stanley's dedication is no doubt one of the hallmark's of the foundation of the business we're hoping to build our bases on.
Scene 301 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. I was thinking of entering it into some festivals. Probably won't. You know, not what this is about.
Scene 312 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (video dialogue) And finally, Pam Beesly. Look at her. Look how cute. Not bad at all. As the receptionist, Pam is truly the gateway to our world. Well, I hope this gave you a little taste of what life is like here at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. What it's like to walk a mile in Oscar's shoes. Or try on Phyllis' pants. Maybe even one of Angela's famous brownies. And you'll know, that you're home. (video says, "Great Scott!")Michael ScottOpen quote: Questions?
Scene 324 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: Wow. OK, OK, thank you Michael, that was great.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, thank you.David WallaceOpen quote: But, for right now what, I would really like to know about is the branch's performance, so do you have that information as well?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, absolutely David. Get that for you. I umm... (hands over report)
Scene 337 linesDelivery manOpen quote: (with flowers) Can you sign?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (delivering plant to Oscar's desk) Oscar.Angela MartinOpen quote: Nothing for me?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (walks away) Join the club.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Whose it from? (to Oscar)Oscar MartinezOpen quote: My mom. (puts card in pocket)
Scene 345 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: It's frustrating, because we'd be so perfect together.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You know what? Here's the deal, Kelly. It would be really nice if he was in to you, right? It'd be great, but he isn't.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Yeah, it would be so great if he was.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, he's not, though. So you just gotta suck it up. You just gotta move on. Try to have some fun. Come to my poker game tonight.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Okay, cool. Is it okay if I invite Ryan? (Jim leaves)
Scene 3511 linesDanOpen quote: And that about does it, thank you.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: OK. (looks toward Craig) Craig,CraigOpen quote: Yeah. Here's the deal. I did not understand this was supposed to be a full on... like report or whatnot.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Um, I'm sorry, what did you think financial presentation meant?CraigOpen quote: I was under the impression this was, more of like... a meet and greet type deal.David WallaceOpen quote: So, does that mean you don't have the numbers on your branch?CraigOpen quote: That is correct, yes.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Craig, you realize that we're trying to decide whether if drastic steps need to be taken?CraigOpen quote: Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well, the point is, is that doesn't exactly bode well for your branch.CraigOpen quote: Oh man, you know what? Michael made that stupid movie, he doesn't get into any trouble? Maybe I should have slept with you, too. (David looks at Jan, who glares at Michael.)
Scene 369 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Oh, ok. Alright.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: NO, NO I'm not, I'm not, I just... I just don't know what to do anymore, Michael. I mean, we're all gonna get fired.Michael ScottOpen quote: No you're not.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Yeah, Michael - the CFO thinks that we slept together. Do you understand, people get fired for much less? And I just (scratches head) can't believe that you told everybody and we didn't even sleep together.Michael ScottOpen quote: Technically, we fell asleep in the same bed. So...Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Oh, God. Michael. It was months ago. It was once, It's over. Do you understand?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes. I'm sorry. I will fix this. I'll talk to him. I'll talk to David.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Surely, you cannot be serious?Michael ScottOpen quote: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Airplane.
Scene 371 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Scene 389 linesRoy AndersonOpen quote: Hey babe.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey.Roy AndersonOpen quote: You almost ready to go?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I guess, yeah.Roy AndersonOpen quote: What's wrong?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Nothing, it's just I had to sit here all day, while Phyllis got like an entire garden delivered to her.Roy AndersonOpen quote: What, you're mad at me?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I mean, I know that we said no big gifts, but I was kind of hoping you'd get me something for Valentine's Day.Roy AndersonOpen quote: Well, Valentine's Day isn't over. Let's get you home and you are gonna get the best sex of you life.
Scene 398 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: You understand this is a very serious situation.Michael ScottOpen quote: No no no no no, yes I, OK, well, alright, here's the deal. It's my fault. This is, this is totally on me. Before you guys came in, I was talking to the guys. We were all chatting and I made a joke, a really dumb joke and Craig the idiot took it seriously. (Jan looks at Michael)David WallaceOpen quote: You made a joke?Michael ScottOpen quote: I did, it was stupid. And Craig, you saw him, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although he is a tool. (David grins)David WallaceOpen quote: Well I don't need to explain to you that even a joke about sexual relations with your boss...Michael ScottOpen quote: I know. It was borderline at best and... And Jan is a fantastic executive and has all the integrity in the world and um, I'm really sorry. It will never happen again.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Uh, that's fine. Let's just forget it.David WallaceOpen quote: Good. (Michael leaves office)
Scene 405 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Heading out?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah. Alright, Beesly, Hey, Happy Valentine's Day.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Bye. (Jim leaves)Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Goodnight Pam. (Leaves with oversized bear on back.)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Night Phyllis.
Scene 415 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: Oh, Michael. Thank you again for that, really. It was very nice.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, no big deal. Really. Sorry again.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Oh, no, it's OK. (Puts hand in way of elevator door to stop from closing.) So, uh, Happy valentine's Day.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, Happy Valentine's Day. (Jan turns and then kisses Michael. Michael looks and sees camera, Jan turns and sees camera, too. Elevator door closes.)Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Oh.
Scene 421 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Oy vey... schmear. (Points at Fiddler on the Roof playing at Minskoff Theatre and does a dance.)