Scene 014 linesKaren FilippelliOpen quote: Hey.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Hey.Karen FilippelliOpen quote: Who are you faxing so early in the morning?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, umm... kinda hard to explain.
Scene 021 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. (reading fax) "Dwight, at 8 A.M. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
Scene 031 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: No!(knocks coffee out of Stanley's hand.) You'll thank me later.
Scene 0425 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: There she is - Jan Levinson. First...Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: ...thing in the morning. Love to start my morning with a hearty bowl of Jan.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: (singing) Just call me Levinson in the morning, baby.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't understand.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: The board voted last night to close your branch.Michael ScottOpen quote: On whom's authority?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: The board's.Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: I'm very sorry. I don't relish telling you this. You've been a big part of this company, and the board asked me to thank you for your years of service.Michael ScottOpen quote: You're welcome.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.Michael ScottOpen quote: Am I a small number person or a severance package person?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet. But you're a severance package person.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh... (burrys head in hands) Oh, my god. Oh, my god! I don't really get it 'cause we're not doing that bad and our numbers are gonna come up.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well, it's not all about numbers, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Well...Jan LevinsonOpen quote: It's... it's about talent.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, you gotta be... Josh?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe?
Scene 051 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: It is an outrage, that's all. It's... hey're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.
Scene 061 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Pictures. Memories. (Picks up a framed photo of Stanley's daughter from Stanley's desk) Look at that. They grow up so fast.
Scene 074 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Hey stranger.Michael ScottOpen quote: Don't say that. That just sounds weird. Please.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Sorry. I just feel like we haven't talked in awhile.Michael ScottOpen quote: Well... we have nothin to talk about, Dwight. Just do your work ... while you still can.
Scene 081 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is, "Something Weird is Going On." Colon, "What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott, with Dwight Schrute."
Scene 095 linesKaren FilippelliOpen quote: Hey, um... did you hear about your friends in Pennsylvania? Rumor has it that the Scranton Branch is... (clicks her tongue to her mouth motions chopping off a head)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Really? Wow... that's bad.Andy BernardOpen quote: Um, sorry... the Scranton branch is closing? (Karen nods and Andy looks at Jim) In your face!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Well, I work here now.Andy BernardOpen quote: Mmmm.. suck-ah!
Scene 1012 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Are you okay?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, great! Amazing. Best physical condition of my life.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What did Jan want?Michael ScottOpen quote: Nothing. Just checking in. I can't tell you, so...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What can't you tell me?Michael ScottOpen quote: Nothing, Pam.(whispers to himself) What difference does it make? We'll be gone in a couple of weeks anyway.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What?!Michael ScottOpen quote: What?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You just said that we're gonna be gone...?Michael ScottOpen quote: Do I have any messages?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Michael, what's going on?Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok, ok...
Scene 117 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (facing the whole office) Listen up, everybody... I have some news. We are screwed. Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton is being shut down.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Michael, uh... we shouldn't be talking about this until all the decisions have been made.Michael ScottOpen quote: You knew about this all along, didn't you?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Jan told me just a few minutes before she told you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Traitor. You are a traitor.Angela MartinOpen quote: What about us, Michael? Do we still have jobs?Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't know. Probably not. This is the worst.
Scene 121 lineRyan HowardOpen quote: It makes perfect sense that it would happen today because I just received this in the mail. (holds up cards) A thousand business cards with this address and phone number.
Scene 131 lineAngela MartinOpen quote: I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame.
Scene 141 lineKelly KapoorOpen quote: If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo and Juliet, the Claire Danes one.
Scene 151 lineAndy BernardOpen quote: (surrounded by clapping coworkers) Stamford, Connecticut! Stamford, Connecticut!
Scene 161 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: I worked in Scranton for a really long time. And uh, it's going to be weird that it's all disappearing. I mean, I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans.
Scene 171 lineStanley HudsonOpen quote: I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna take the severance and retire. My wife and I are gonna travel. (chuckles) I really couldn't be happier.
Scene 181 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: It's a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise. Sometimes at home, I answer the phone, "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam." So, maybe that'll stop now.
Scene 192 linesRoy AndersonOpen quote: What does that mean?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Well, some of us are fired and a few are going to Connecticut.
Scene 201 lineRoy AndersonOpen quote: I don't really want to work here without Pam. You know that Cinderella song, "You Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)"? That pretty much says it better than how I know how to say it... in words.
Scene 218 linesDarryl PhilbinOpen quote: Hey Mike.Michael ScottOpen quote: Darryl. Noble Darryl. (sighs)Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Look, I heard about the office. Tough break.Michael ScottOpen quote: I know, I know. Well, I'll land on my feet. Don't worry about me.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: I wasn't.Michael ScottOpen quote: So, you'll be okay too. You're a warrior. You're smart, capable. You'll find something else and...Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Actually, Bob Vance bought out the warehouse. So he's keeping on the whole crew. So, we good.Michael ScottOpen quote: Awesome.
Scene 221 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: This is my house. The CFO is taking away my house and giving it to Josh. And Josh is giving the garage to Bob Vance.
Scene 234 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. (Looks at Dwight) Let's go.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yes!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, good... you're bringing Dwight.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes. This might get ugly. I need backup.
Scene 247 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: What's the plan?Michael ScottOpen quote: Go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he's making a mistake... save the branch.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Can I drive?Michael ScottOpen quote: No... way.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Shotgun!Michael ScottOpen quote: No. There's no one else.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Still.
Scene 257 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Thank you very much. (hangs up cell phone) Okay, secretary says Wallace is away for the day and won't be coming back into the office.Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, okay. Um...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: But, do not worry. I have his home address right (presses cell phone button) here.Michael ScottOpen quote: Why?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Christmas card list.Michael ScottOpen quote: You sent him cards? You never met him.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: But when I do, we'll have something to talk about.
Scene 267 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: Hey, do you have a second?JoshOpen quote: Sure, what's up?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I know it's not definite or whatever, but uh, do you know who's coming over here from Scranton?JoshOpen quote: I honestly don't. I don't know.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay, so is it like sales or... accountants?JoshOpen quote: You know what, Jim, I wouldn't worry about it.Jim HalpertOpen quote: What does that mean?
Scene 273 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: Hi.JoshOpen quote: Jan, hey.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Oh, good. You're both here. Ready to talk logistics?
Scene 281 lineRyan HowardOpen quote: (to Kelly) I just feel like it could have been something special if we could have kept working together, but I'm gonna go someplace else and you're gonna go someplace else. It just doesn't make sense.
Scene 291 lineRyan HowardOpen quote: This kinda worked out perfectly for me. I got some good experience. Uh, Michael's gonna write me a great recommendation. And as far as me and Kelly goes, I think it's for the best.
Scene 301 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: Okay, this is it. (runs up the stairs of CFO's house, with Dwight) This is exactly what Michael Moore does, famous documentarian. He goes up to people with a camera and he's like "Why did you do this? Why did you pollute? You are bad. You're a bad person." It's very dramatic. Although, I can't say I was a big fan of 'Bowling for Columbine', because I thought it was going to be a bowling movie, like 'Kingpin'. And it wasn't. It was something else.
Scene 3114 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: So, Josh will be running what is now called Dunder-Mifflin ,Northeast, which is all the offices north of Stamford. And Jim, fi you want the job, you'll be his number two.JoshOpen quote: Wow. Uh, sure. Absolutely.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Awesome.JoshOpen quote: Excuse me, Jan, I'm sorry... I'm gonna have to stop you there. I, um, will not be taking the job.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Wha... excuse... why not?JoshOpen quote: As of today, I have accepted a senior managment position at Staples.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Today?JoshOpen quote: (nods)Jan LevinsonOpen quote: You leveraged your new position with us into another offer?JoshOpen quote: (sighs)Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Damn it, Josh. This whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you. I...JoshOpen quote: I'm sorry, all right? It's done, it's done.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: I'm gonna make some calls.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.
Scene 3219 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: So, do you know what you're gonna say when he shows up?Michael ScottOpen quote: I will improvise. I will speak from the heart.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No. Bad idea. You need an attack plan. Here, I'll be him, you be you. Let's practice.Michael ScottOpen quote: All right.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (as David Wallace) Dum, dum, dum, dum... coming home from work.Michael ScottOpen quote: Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yes? What is the meaning of this?Michael ScottOpen quote: Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting 15 people out of work?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Well, the branch is no longer finicially viable. It's simple dollars and cents.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, but these are employees, Sir. These are human beings.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Listen, Scott... we're losing money, okay? It's not a charity; it's a business. And it's a dying business.Michael ScottOpen quote: (no longer talking to Dwight as Wallace) Stop... stop it! Just, okay. He's not going to say any of that.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (as himself) Whoa hey, why not?Michael ScottOpen quote: Because he'd be intimidated and I, just... let's start again. Just be more scared of me, okay?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Okay.Michael ScottOpen quote: Don't touch me this time.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (as David Wallace) Dum, dum, dum, du, doy, du, do... coming home from work...Michael ScottOpen quote: Excuse me, Mr. Wallace?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (frightened) Uh!
Scene 3310 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: So... we are still scrambling here. But uh, it looks like Scranton is going to absorb Stamford.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Wow.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago, but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Thank you.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Yeah.Jim HalpertOpen quote: No, it's just I'm not sure if I um... well to be quite honest with you, Jan, I have a few unpleasant memories of Scranton. And um...Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Michael.Jim HalpertOpen quote: No. No, no. Just um... some personal stuff. And I'm not really ready to revist that, I don't think.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Ah. Well, please think about it. And call me. We will do whatever we can to get you to stay.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay.
Scene 3412 linesPhyllis VanceOpen quote: Hey guys. Uh, I'm trying to organize a little group lunch for everybody since you know, we're never gonna see each other again.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Where are we going?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I thought maybe DJ's.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: How about Cugino's?Angela MartinOpen quote: I don't want to go all the way to Dunmore.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: How 'bout Cooper's then?Angela MartinOpen quote: No seafood.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: But, I don't want to go to DJ's.Angela MartinOpen quote: Oh, now all of a sudden you get picky?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Okay, forget it. (walks away)Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Hooters?Angela MartinOpen quote: No.
Scene 352 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Ah. (takes a gulp of Gatorade and passes the bottle to Michael) Here, replinish your fluids.Michael ScottOpen quote: (takes bottle and cleans off cap with his tie)
Scene 365 linesJan LevinsonOpen quote: (in Scranton) Where's Michael?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: He's not here. I don't know where he is.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: (looks around, noticing that no one is working) Wha... what's going on here?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: We know the branch is closing; Michael told us.Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Ah, god. Okay. You know what everybody? I'm sure there is a better way to do this but I've drive something like 400 miles today and I'm completely exhausted so I'm just gonna tell you. Your branch is not closing; Stamford is closing. Um, for the time being, it seems that all your jobs are safe.
Scene 396 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Is it because of Michael? Did he actually do something?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Well, reasons are not important. Would you just call him, please? Wherever he is... and tell him.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Sure, uh, Jan... um, do you know, is anyone coming back to Scranton?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Back?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Coming to Scranton. Is anyone coming to Scranton?Jan LevinsonOpen quote: Uh, we don't know. Probably. A few.
Scene 404 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: (referring to Michael's ringing phone) who is it?Michael ScottOpen quote: The office.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Gonna get it?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, not until I have some good news for them. Not until I have some good news.
Scene 417 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: I guess some new people might be coming from Stamford. Should be fun. New blood.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Is Jim coming back.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: That's, um... I hadn't thought about it, huh.Ryan HowardOpen quote: I just don't want it to be weird, you know? I mean, I took his old job and his old desk.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, that might be weird. Overall though, we still all have our jobs... so, good news, right?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Oh, yeah, totally.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Ahhhhh! (hugs Ryan) I'm so happy we don't have to break up now, Ryan! (kisses him) This is the best day of my whole l ife!
Scene 427 linesKaren FilippelliOpen quote: What you gonna do?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I really don't know. How you doing with all this?Karen FilippelliOpen quote: You know, I'm fine. I'll be better when I know if I have a job.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You'd actually move to Scranton?Karen FilippelliOpen quote: Yeah, if they let me, I think I... I think I would.Jim HalpertOpen quote: New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton? I dunno. If I were you I'd move to New York?Karen FilippelliOpen quote: Yeah, you know... I might do that. I, who knows? I... I might do that.
Scene 434 linesJoshOpen quote: Hey Andy!Andy BernardOpen quote: (after screaming and throwing papers around in the kitchen) What's up, Josh?JoshOpen quote: I just want to say thanks. Good luck.Andy BernardOpen quote: Thanks, man. You, too. Totally.
Scene 4414 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Anything?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Nothing. (puts down binoculars)Michael ScottOpen quote: What if this doesn't work? What is the office actually goes under?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Then it was an honor to have worked with you.Michael ScottOpen quote: (pats Dwight and sighs) All right, favorite moments in Dunder-Mifflin history. Go.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: My first day when you hazed me by spraying me with a fire extinguisher.Michael ScottOpen quote: That was hilarious. The foam ...Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Uh,... my first sale, my promotion to assistant regional manager, our basketball game, when you took me to the hospital, and told me that you cared about me.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, right. Okay, that's enough. That's good.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What were your favorite moments?Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, hmm, all of them. I loved them all. Every single one.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: What about when Jan said the branch was closing?Michael ScottOpen quote: God, Dwight!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Well, it doesn't...
Scene 4513 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Hey Pam, we're going to Poor Richards. Creed's buying shots.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No thanks, guys.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: All right.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Have fun though.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Cool.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Hey, I hear Jim's coming back.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Really? Where did you hear that?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: I was...Kevin MaloneOpen quote: (interupting) Hey Ryan, you coming?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Uh yeah, we'll meet you there.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Awesome. Let's go, Phyllis.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: (to Pam) I'll tell you later.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Okay.
Scene 464 linesRoy AndersonOpen quote: Crazy day, huh?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah.Roy AndersonOpen quote: Yeah, man! I'm uh... I'm really glad you're still gonna be working here.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, me too.
Scene 471 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: Maybe this is good. Finding another job is a pain. There's another annoying boss, another desk, I'd have to learn everything all over again. So, there are reasons to stay.
Scene 483 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: Hey, um, I think I am gonna take that job. And Scranton... it's not that bad. So, if they offer you a job there, I think you should take it.Karen FilippelliOpen quote: Okay, yeah. Maybe I will.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Okay.
Scene 491 lineKaren FilippelliOpen quote: Yeah, I'm happy he said that. I mean, I don't think he's into me or anything, but, I'm kind of into him. So...there you go.
Scene 5018 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home. Get the car.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (picks up his beeping cell phone)Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, this was such a stupid idea! This was so stupid. I am such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (on the phone) Oh my God!Michael ScottOpen quote: What?!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Stranford is closed! Michael, we're not closed. Stamford is closed. Stamford is closed.Michael ScottOpen quote: We did it? We did it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: We did it!Michael & DwightOpen quote: We did it! We did it!Michael ScottOpen quote: Right here! Right here! (pounds his chest against Dwight's)Michael & DwightOpen quote: Ouu! Ou! Ouu! Ouu!Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, baby!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: In your face!Michael ScottOpen quote: We did it!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, man.Michael ScottOpen quote: How did we do it?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I don't ... have no idea.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't understand.
Scene 511 lineToby FlendersonOpen quote: Well for a minute there, I saw myself selling my house, moving to Costa Rica, learning how to surf. But, Costa Rica will still be there. When I'm 65.