Dunder Mifflin, Inc.Best Office Lines

The Sting

Vol. 7 · Issue 5Scranton, PA

Every line from "The Sting" is right here, from Michael's botched bike ride to the awkward "sting" operation involving Meredith as a fake CEO. Since this is the full script from season 7 episode 5, you can catch every beat of Andy’s band practice with Darryl and Kevin. Browse the best quotes and see how Michael ends up hiring his biggest rival.

Scene 01

19 lines
Michael Scott
Look at that.
Oscar Martinez
Huh?
Michael Scott
Nice!
Oscar Martinez
I love cycling. Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city. I literally can't wait to wake up every morning.
Pam Beesly
Okay.
Michael Scott
She is a beaut!
Dwight Schrute
Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that peddles itself.
Oscar Martinez
Yes, it is.
Michael Scott
Oh, look at that. (pushing bike) Smooth roll.
Oscar Martinez
Yeah.
Kevin Malone
You got it! Lance Armstrong's Bike!
Oscar Martinez
Yes.
Meredith Palmer
His ass was on that seat? All right!
Kevin Malone
Nice.
Oscar Martinez
No, Meredith, that's not his actual bicycle, but it is the same exact model he uses.
Kelly Kapoor
I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.
Pam Beesly
(crashing sound) Michael!
Michael Scott
Oh, god!
Oscar Martinez
Oh...

Scene 02

1 line
Michael Scott
Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike.

Scene 03

10 lines
Jim Halpert
Are you sure you once knew how to do this?
Michael Scott
I did, yes! I had those extra wheels on the back...that support you. (Pam and Jim begin wheeling him) Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
Everyone
(chanting) Mi-chael! Mi-chael! Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
Dwight Schrute
Yeah!
Pam Beesly
Come on, Michael! Yeah!
Jim Halpert
Just steer more now.
Michael Scott
(crashes into Jim and Pam's parked car) Oh, my god!
Pam Beesly
Not the car!
Jim Halpert
No! No!
Michael Scott
Ow! (grunts, stumbles to his feet) You never forget. Whoo!

Scene 04

5 lines
Dwight Schrute
How do I look?
Jim Halpert
Amazing. How do I look?
Dwight Schrute
Normal. Ugly.
Jim Halpert
Well, I do the best with what I've got. Let's go.
Dwight Schrute
Alright. Wait, wait, wait, wait for me! It's weird if I come in slightly after.

Scene 05

10 lines
Dwight Schrute
We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash.
Jim Halpert
He's not the Steve Nash. He's big though. He's kind of like...Scranton's Steve Nash.
Dwight Schrute
Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? It's condescending.
Jim Halpert
I'm not doing that. I'm just explaining.
Dwight Schrute
And who is this "the" Steve Nash?
Jim Halpert
Phoenix Sun's point guard?
Dwight Schrute
No.
Jim Halpert
No? Nothin'?
Dwight Schrute
No, Mr. Jock Hipster.
Jim Halpert
Well, I'm neither of those things, so...

Scene 06

8 lines
Andy Bernard
(reading Cornell magazine) Whoa. Libby Dirketts got married. Big Red mazel tov to the Libster. Ooh, says here Dan Becker fell off the side of Kilimanjaro in a climbing accident. It appears Dan's Sherpa survived to tell the tale-Oh, my God!
Phyllis Vance
What? Is Dan okay?
Andy Bernard
No, he died. It's Broccoli Rob. You know this guy; I showed you his picture on Facebook.
Phyllis Vance
Yes.
Andy Bernard
"Some Vermont-based alums can hear 'Broccoli' Rob Blatt, '96, in the state milk lobby's new milk awareness song, 'Calci-YUM!', featuring Phish's Trey Anastasio. Says Broccoli, 'Trey and I had a ton of fun in the studio, and I think you can hear it in the song.'"
Phyllis Vance
Oh, that's great news for your friend.
Andy Bernard
Yeah, yeah, it's great...
Phyllis Vance
You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder.

Scene 07

1 line
Andy Bernard
I was the artsy, musical one. In Here Comes Treble I had four solos, Broccoli rob had three. Right? Uhh.

Scene 08

3 lines
Dwight Schrute
Go tell her we're here. You're good with receptionists.
Jim Halpert
Oh, ha ha ha. Dwight...(motions to lobby)
Dwight Schrute
Crap.

Scene 09

6 lines
Dwight Schrute
Danny Cordray is the worst.
Jim Halpert
Well, by worst, you mean the best.
Dwight Schrute
The best salesman ever. He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, steals more clients from Dunder-Mifflin than anyone.
Jim Halpert
So, the situation is the worst.
Dwight Schrute
Also, he slept with Pam.
Jim Halpert
No, he didn't. (Dwight mouthing "yes, he did")

Scene 10

7 lines
Jim Halpert
Tell 'em.
Pam Beesly
Nothing happened. We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again.
Jim Halpert
What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled.
Pam Beesly
That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.
Jim Halpert
Yeah, I thought you started it.
Pam Beesly
No, I liked him. For a couple of days. Four years ago. (Jim nodding repeatedly) You know I have a kid with you, right?
Jim Halpert
Ahhh.

Scene 11

13 lines
Dwight Schrute
I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay?
Jim Halpert
Okay, great-
Dwight Schrute
Watch this.
Jim Halpert
-I'm just gonna watch.
Dwight Schrute
(speaking loudly) So anyway, she says, "that is the biggest penis I have ever seen." And I said, "I know. That's why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars." Well, hello Danny!
Danny
Hey, Dwight. Good to see you. Jim, hey.
Jim Halpert
(shaking hands) How are ya?
Danny
Good to see you too.
Dwight Schrute
What are you doing?
Danny
Oh, I'm just here for the coffee.
Dwight Schrute
Like hell you are.
Jim Halpert
Dwight!
Dwight Schrute
He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up!

Scene 12

16 lines
Michael Scott
Brainstorming session is now open. Anyone has an idea-(cell phone rings) Hold on. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello?
Jim Halpert
Hey, it's Jim. Listen, this is important. Are you busy?
Michael Scott
Oh, hey. No, I'm not busy. What's up?
Angela Martin
What?
Oscar Martinez
You are busy! We're in a meeting!
Michael Scott
It's Jim, Okay? Yes.
Jim Halpert
Listen, you gotta get over here, 'cause we're pitching Steve Nash and Danny Cordray is here.
Michael Scott
You need the big guns, yes?
Jim Halpert
Yes.
Dwight Schrute
What'd he say? What did he say?
Jim Halpert
The big gun thing. (Dwight grabs at phone) Stop!
Michael Scott
I will see you in ten. Bye! Hold tight. (hangs up) Well, I know a lot of you thought that my sales days were behind me, and to be honest, so did I...and the only reason I got out of the sales game was to be reluctantly called back in.
Pam Beesly
You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager.
Michael Scott
(laughing) No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me?
Pam Beesly
You don't?
Michael Scott
No! Okay. (runs out the door) All right.

Scene 13

15 lines
Andy Bernard
(knocking) Knockity-knock, don't knock back. Just kidding you can knock; it's your office. Do you have a minute?
Darryl Philbin
I'm very busy with time-sensitive work.
Andy Bernard
Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you're entering points into Weight Watchers dot com.
Darryl Philbin
If you don't enter them immediately, you forget. What?
Andy Bernard
I'm starting a band and I need you on keyboards.
Darryl Philbin
Nah. I play for pleasure.
Andy Bernard
This is for pleasure.
Darryl Philbin
I wouldn't enjoy that.
Andy Bernard
I'm willing to pay you.
Darryl Philbin
Oh, yeah?
Andy Bernard
Yeah.
Darryl Philbin
How much?
Andy Bernard
Sixty bucks a session.
Darryl Philbin
That's crazy money. I'll take forty.
Andy Bernard
Yes!

Scene 14

19 lines
Dwight Schrute
There he is.
Michael Scott
Oh, no, that's a male model.
Jim Halpert
No, that's him.
Michael Scott
That...hello. Michael Scott, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company.
Danny
Danny Cordray, Osprey Paper.
Michael Scott
Nice to meet you.
Danny
Three of you guys for one sale.
Michael Scott
Yeah, well...we call it overkill. Why am I telling you my strategy?
Danny
Well, whatever works for ya. Anyway. All right.
Michael Scott
All right.
Danny
It's good to see you guys. Nice to meet you.
Michael Scott
Buh-bye. I could swear that guy was a male model.
Receptionist
He's ready for you.
Michael Scott
Oh, thank you. All right. On the count of three, it's showtime. Ready, one, two--
Jim Halpert
Nope, not doing that.
Dwight Schrute
I've been in showtime mode since breakfast.
Michael Scott
Okay, you know-all right, just forget it then.
Jim Halpert
Showtime!
Michael Scott
It's showtime! Oh...never mind. Let's go.

Scene 15

13 lines
Michael Scott
When I knock on your door, you know who it is; it's Michael Scott. We've been together forever and we-
Steve
Michael, I appreciate everything that Dunder-Mifflin has done for this company.
Michael Scott
You know what? You are having some problems with your loading dock, are you not? All right. We're going to deliver to you on weekends.
Steve
That's very generous, but-
Michael Scott
And you know what else we're gonna do? I can't believe I'm gonna say this...we are going to offer you our paper at cost. I know. I could get in a lotta trouble for this, so you'd better shake my hand right now.
Dwight Schrute
He's not kidding.
Michael Scott
Shake it, shake it!
Steve
Michael, I'm going with Danny.
Dwight Schrute
Oh.
Steve
Thanks for coming in.
Michael Scott
Okay. Thank you.
Steve
Thank you.
Michael Scott
Thanks, Steve.

Scene 16

4 lines
Dwight Schrute
Jim talked too much.
Jim Halpert
No, I didn't.
Dwight Schrute
Yes, you did.
Michael Scott
Stop it. Just stop it. We did what we should have done, we just got bested. (pounds the elevator button) Why is there a door close button if it doesn't even close the door?

Scene 17

1 line
Michael Scott
How do I feel about losing the sale? It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped, and drowned.

Scene 18

10 lines
Michael Scott
You know who we always lose out to? Staples, the big guys. Osprey? They're a small company. They're smaller than we are. What's our excuse? How do we combat this guy? Stanley, how do we combat him?
Stanley Hudson
We sell better?
Michael Scott
Okay. You know what? You clearly don't care, so why don't you just leave?
Stanley Hudson
I would like to stay. This pertains to me.
Michael Scott
Why don't you go outside and...take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay?
Stanley Hudson
Why do you always assume I have diabetes?
Michael Scott
I don't know, your frame, your build-why don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you're not a diabetic. (Stanley stands to leave) See? I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up that you have-okay. Yes, Phyllis?
Phyllis Vance
I could try to seduce him.
Michael Scott
Oh, my god!
Dwight Schrute
I know how we can learn his tricks.

Scene 19

13 lines
Dwight Schrute
What I am about to show you is of the utmost secrecy.
Jim Halpert
Is that your office?
Dwight Schrute
Yes, Jim. And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. We lure Danny to it and watch him sell.
Phyllis Vance
Uh...
Stanley Hudson
I'm outta here.
Phyllis Vance
This is weird.
Michael Scott
You know what this is? This is a stinger.
Jim Halpert
A what?
Michael Scott
Like the movie.
Jim Halpert
I think you mean The Sting.
Michael Scott
Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers.
Jim Halpert
Nope. Different movie.
Dwight Schrute
The Sting. The Sting.

Scene 20

2 lines
Erin Hannon
Your two o'clock. (Danny enters)
Meredith Palmer
Thanks, hun.

Scene 21

1 line
Jim Halpert
Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company. Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny and...that's it. That's really all we were looking for.

Scene 22

8 lines
Danny
Danny Cordray. It's great to meet you.
Meredith Palmer
Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you.
Jim Halpert
Meredith Van Helsing?
Dwight Schrute
Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.
Jim Halpert
Okay. But what is he more famous for?
Michael Scott
Shhh! Hey! That's my mug.
Jim Halpert
You know this isn't real TV, right?
Michael Scott
Yes.

Scene 23

14 lines
Darryl & Andy
(singing) Please Mr. President, if you wanna give hope a whirl, bring our troops home safe and sound, says this little girl.
Andy Bernard
(in falsetto) Please Mr. President-
Darryl Philbin
One second, one second, one second. (stops playing) So, this song is from the point of view of a little girl?
Andy Bernard
Yeah.
Darryl Philbin
But you're singing it.
Andy Bernard
Yeah, but I'm using my falsetto.
Darryl Philbin
No, that's not a good idea. I don't see that as a very good song.
Andy Bernard
Yeah, well, it'd sound a lot better if you actually sang with some soul.
Darryl Philbin
Oh, I never sing with soul.
Andy Bernard
That's a lie.
Kevin Malone
I could sing it.
Andy Bernard
I just was hoping to maybe save your voice in case we did a novelty song about frogs.
Kevin Malone
But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan.
Andy Bernard
Okay, three-way argument between a drummer, a keyboardist, and the front man lead singer. Wonder who's gonna win this one. Two, three, four-

Scene 24

15 lines
Danny
I'm gonna take off my coat, if you don't mind. It's a bit warm in here.
Meredith Palmer
Hel-lo!
Michael Scott
Oh, no, no. No. Don't-
Dwight Schrute
People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.
Michael Scott
Testify.
Jim Halpert
Okay, he's not that good-looking. I don't understand why everybody's obsessed with this-
Michael Scott
Yeah, he is that good-looking.
Dwight Schrute
He's very, very handsome.
Michael Scott
Okay.
Meredith Palmer
That's a great set of shoulder's you got there. What is that...Genetics? Creatine? (phone rings) Sorry. Yeah?
Michael Scott
Pull it together, all right? Stop lookin' at him.
Meredith Palmer
I'm sorry. (hangs up) You're here to sell me some paper.
Danny
Well, actually, uh... no, Miss Van Helsing, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to meet you, see if we'd be a, you know, good fit.
Meredith Palmer
What do you mean?
Michael Scott
Oh...my god! He's making her sell to him.

Scene 25

10 lines
Andy Bernard
(everyone finishes listening to song) Okay. Honest feedback time. Oscar?
Oscar Martinez
It's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid.
Andy Bernard
But do you think it could be famous? Like in a car commercial or something?
Pam Beesly
Not really. It's kinda weird that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl.
Andy Bernard
I feel like I can see someone ice skating to it. You know, like in the Olympics.
Ryan Howard
I-I don't think they usually...skate to such...bad songs.
Andy Bernard
Rude. And not helpful.
Creed Bratton
Well, I really, really, really liked it.
Andy Bernard
Well, that...really bums me out.
Creed Bratton
You're welcome.

Scene 26

12 lines
Danny
We should think of this as a first date. And I think it's going very well, how 'bout you?
Meredith Palmer
Real well. Uh...feels more like a third date to me.
Danny
Ha ha, okay, there you go! (phone rings, Meredith answers)
Michael Scott
Stay-
Meredith Palmer
Shut up and let me do this! (hangs up) You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart?
Danny
I've never been a desk man. Always traveling on the road. Come on...why not, huh?
Dwight Schrute
Oh...
Danny
Well, we'll get this...(Meredith unbuttons)
Michael Scott
Oh!
Dwight Schrute
Oh, man!
Meredith Palmer
So, what's your drink? You a vodka man? Me too.
Jim Halpert
We gotta get someone else in there right now.

Scene 27

16 lines
Jim Halpert
You're an exec at Pennsylvania Solartech and-
Oscar Martinez
That sounds fake.
Jim Halpert
What do you mean?
Dwight Schrute
I told you! You're an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father-
Jim Halpert
Will you stop? Stop it, stop it. Here's the story-they need Meredith somewhere else asap, okay?
Oscar Martinez
Okay.
Jim Halpert
So you're taking over. You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can.
Oscar Martinez
All right. I can do that. Then what?
Dwight Schrute
Then make him pitch to you.
Jim Halpert
Yes.
Dwight Schrute
We gotta see what he's got.
Jim Halpert
Exactly. You can do this.
Dwight Schrute
Okay, and remember-you're not gay.
Jim Halpert
Stop it! It's gonna be great.
Oscar Martinez
Okay.
Jim Halpert
And listen if anything else happens, just...roll with it.

Scene 28

6 lines
Oscar Martinez
Meredith, I-
Meredith Palmer
Oh, Manuel! This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn't speak any English.
Danny
Hola. Que tal?
Oscar Martinez
Como estas, senor?
Meredith Palmer
Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.
Jim Halpert
Who else we got?

Scene 29

5 lines
Dwight Schrute
Okay. You're a young hotshot from Stark Industries. You've just bought this company. Meredith is fired. It's a whole new regime. He's gotta pitch to you now.
Ryan Howard
Okay. Stark Industries isn't real. I run Google. Larry and Sergey brought me in-
Jim Halpert
Great. Sounds awesome. Just have him pitch to you.
Michael Scott
Don't let us down.
Ryan Howard
(points to Jim) Will do. (points to Michael) Won't do.

Scene 30

41 lines
Danny
Yeah, sure.
Meredith Palmer
You smell like a Scorpio. (Ryan enters) This is...Esteban...another cleaning man. He doesn't speak English either. Esteban, el flooro.
Danny
You know what? I may have parked my car in a compact space, and I hate when I see others do that, so-
Meredith Palmer
Danny, I feel a real connection to you, and I gotta get real, I'm-
Michael Scott
No, no, no....
Jim Halpert
No, no, no, no...
Michael Scott
I'm goin 'in!
Dwight Schrute
Michael! No, Michael, stop it! No!
Michael Scott
Stop, stop! Oh, my god! (enters office) Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Gross! Stop it, please. Everybody, stop.
Danny
Michael Scott.
Michael Scott
I said stop. Okay, Danny...this is not Pennsylvania Solartech. This is Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. This is Meredith Palmer-
Meredith Palmer
Please to meet you-
Michael Scott
Don't! Get away from him. Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever.
Danny
Hmm.
Michael Scott
I owe you...a most sincere and humble apology. We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique, so we could stop losing so many clients to you.
Danny
But from where?
Michael Scott
A surveillance room next to this one.
Danny
Okay, so you...set up this fake company, then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique?
Michael Scott
Yes. And it's the sincerest form of flattery.
Danny
Or...crazy.
Michael Scott
Well-
Danny
I'm gonna go.
Michael Scott
Okay. You know what, it wasn't just me. Jim and Dwight are behind that wall in the surveillance room and it was their plan as well.
Dwight Schrute
No!
Jim Halpert
No, no, no, no.
Danny
Oh, well then, yeah. All right. Hey! (knocking on wall) Good luck, guys. Seems like you got a great operation here.
Michael Scott
No, we don't. Here's-here's my point. Danny, listen, you have to understand that we are not normally like this. We just-we wanted to know your tricks.
Danny
What do you mean, my tricks? There's no tricks, man. I'm just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can't copy that! (opens door to leave)
Michael Scott
You are, you are. You are! Stop it, stop it. Stop. (closes door) You are a good salesman. And because of that...I want you to work for me.
Danny
Sure. You seem like a fun, professional guy.
Michael Scott
So, you will?
Danny
(opening door again to leave) No!
Michael Scott
Hold it, hold it. (forcing door closed) Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Danny, I want you to look at me. Do you want your life to be better...or to be worse or to stay the same?
Danny
Get out of my way.
Michael Scott
Answer the question. Do you want a better life, Danny?
Danny
I swear to God, I'm gonna hit you. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I'm not-it's just I'm very upset right now.
Michael Scott
I know, I know.
Danny
I'm very upset!
Michael Scott
Do you want more freedom, less freedom, or to stay the same?
Danny
More freedom.
Michael Scott
I can give you more money-there's your better life. I can let you come and go as you please-there's your freedom. And you already know Dunder-Mifflin has the best service and the best prices, but you beat us anyway. Can you imagine how well you would do selling our stuff?

Scene 31

32 lines
Michael Scott
Everyone, may I have your attention? I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!
Kelly Kapoor
(bleep) me!
Michael Scott
O-kay. You know what? No. No. This is not some sort of construction site...or all of Italy, where you can just go around treating people like meat. We are to respect him. I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. Can anybody guess who that is?
Kelly Kapoor
Josh Duhamel.
Angela Martin
Yeah, I can see that.
Michael Scott
No. No. No. Somebody in this office.
Kevin Malone
He's like a better-looking Andy.
Andy Bernard
Thanks, Kevin.
Michael Scott
No, me. Right? Sorta like...a little younger version of me.
Oscar Martinez
It's hard to judge ourselves accurately, isn't it.
Dwight Schrute
Michael?
Michael Scott
Yes.
Dwight Schrute
Can I talk to you about something?
Michael Scott
No, you may not.
Dwight Schrute
It's about this very announcement you just made.
Michael Scott
I said no.
Dwight Schrute
Michael-
Michael Scott
We're not-
Jim Halpert
Michael, I think you really want to talk to him.
Michael Scott
Okay. Let's-all right, all right. Let's talk. Please don't let him leave. (pointing to Danny) Don't leave. Don't let him.
Erin Hannon
Gotcha. (they go into Michael's office)
Jim Halpert
You hired him?
Michael Scott
Guys, let me ask you something. Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same?
Everyone
Stay the same.
Michael Scott
Okay. Well...get ready, 'cause it's gonna get better.
Phyllis Vance
It's not gonna get better; he's gonna steal all of our clients.
Michael Scott
No, no. Wrong. He would have stolen your clients, but you know what? He can't now. This guy used to steal sales from us; now, he's going to steal sales for us.
Dwight Schrute
Where's he gonna sit? There's no more seats.
Michael Scott
He doesn't need to sit, he's a traveling salesman. Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff simply because they are threatening to you. And unless you have a better argument than that, I suggest you leave.
Stanley Hudson
Hmpf!
Dwight Schrute
Where's he gonna park? There's no more reserved parking spots.
Michael Scott
Good-bye!

Scene 32

21 lines
Darryl Philbin
Song's about truth.
Kevin Malone
Yeah.
Darryl Philbin
What's something you really care about?
Andy Bernard
Reverse snobbery.
Darryl Philbin
More universal.
Andy Bernard
Sometimes I feel like life has passed me by.
Darryl Philbin
(plays soft chords and sings) Couldn't get outta bed today. Wish the alarm clock would go away.
Kevin Malone
Oh, nice!
Andy Bernard
Holy crap. Are you kidding me? You just made that-that's amazing!
Darryl Philbin
Go ahead.
Andy Bernard
(singing) Which me am I gonna be today?
Darryl Philbin
Which me am I gonna be today?
Andy Bernard
I gotta closet full of mes. Am I gonna be the happy me?
Kevin Malone
Or the me that stinks.
Andy Bernard
Oh, my gosh! We're almost out of time. How much for another half hour?
Darryl Philbin
Oh, don't worry about it.
Andy Bernard
Wait. Seriously?
Darryl Philbin
Yeah.
Andy Bernard
So we're just, like, jamming as friends?
Darryl Philbin
One, two, three, hit it.
Andy Bernard
Closet full of mes-

Scene 33

20 lines
Danny
Oh, you know...funny. Your wife and I went on a few dates.
Jim Halpert
Did ya?
Danny
Yeah. Way ,way, way back.
Jim Halpert
I'm just kidding. She told me about it.
Danny
Oh. She was not into me.
Jim Halpert
Oh.
Danny
Obviously. I don't even think she called me back.
Dwight Schrute
You snubbed her.
Jim Halpert
Dwight, please.
Dwight Schrute
Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, Cordray, okay? We all know that you probably thought that Pam was too "meh" or thin without being toned. But I wanna tell you something-she is one of the plain hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear makeup? (Pam mouthing "I wear makeup") We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you? Don't you!
Danny
Okay...that's different.
Dwight Schrute
Oh, that's different, is it? Okay...thief. You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? Oh, there in my pocket. False alarm. Okay. (awkward pause) So...you're gonna be workin' here?
Danny
Uh...I mean-yeah.
Dwight Schrute
Welcome aboard.
Danny
Thank you.
Jim Halpert
Hey, crazy, um...so...that's it? You're just-you're fine?
Dwight Schrute
It's after 5:00, Jim. I'm not gonna take this home. (shakes Danny's hand)
Danny
Oh.
Dwight Schrute
Pleasure.
Danny
Thanks.

Scene 34

1 line
Michael Scott
This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. The sale that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don't even need him. We already have Packer on the road. Chhguuh! Crap. I forgot about Packer.

Scene 35

12 lines
Kevin Malone
(singing and playing drums) Sun's in her eyes, tongue full of flies. Would you like to share my paaaaaaad?
Everyone
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love. Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love and I gave her the croak that meant I love you.
Darryl Philbin
I'll be your croak monsieur.
Andy Bernard
(falsetto) I'll be your croak madame.
Kevin Malone
Your mama mighta said that bullfrogs are dogs, but I'm here to tell you that I am a frog! Come and sit on my log, you little pollywog.
Darryl Philbin
I find you absolutely ribbiting!
Everyone
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Andy Bernard
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Kevin Malone
Croak!
Andy Bernard
Ribbit!
Darryl Philbin
Scoopity-splash!
Kevin Malone
Nice.