Dunder Mifflin, Inc.Best Office Lines

Crime Aid

Vol. 5 · Issue 4Scranton, PA

When Michael and Holly accidentally leave the office open for burglars, the only solution is a "Crime Aid" auction. You'll find every hilarious line and the full script from the night Michael pretended to have Springsteen tickets. Follow along with the quotes as Dwight gives Angela an ultimatum and Bob Vance drops a grand just to hug his own wife.

Scene 01

2 lines
Receptionist
Pam Beesly

Scene 02

1 line
Pam Beesly

Scene 03

2 lines
Pam Beesly
Michael Scott

Scene 04

1 line
Pam Beesly

Scene 05

2 lines
Pam Beesly
Michael Scott

Scene 06

29 lines
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott

Scene 07

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 08

3 lines
Andy Bernard
Dwight Schrute
Andy Bernard

Scene 09

8 lines
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute

Scene 10

7 lines
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax

Scene 11

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 12

11 lines
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance

Scene 13

3 lines
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax

Scene 14

10 lines
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott

Scene 15

5 lines
Angela Martin
Oscar Martinez
Kevin Malone
Oscar Martinez
Kevin Malone

Scene 16

11 lines
Michael Scott
Jim Halpert
Dwight Schrute
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott

Scene 17

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 18

8 lines
Pam Beesly
Jim Halpert
Pam Beesly
Jim Halpert
Pam Beesly
Man on phone
Pam Beesly
Jim Halpert

Scene 19

7 lines
Angela Martin
Andy Bernard
Angela Martin
Andy Bernard
Angela Martin
Andy Bernard
Dwight Schrute

Scene 20

7 lines
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute

Scene 21

2 lines
Holly Flax
Oscar Martinez

Scene 22

1 line
Creed Bratton

Scene 23

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 24

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 25

10 lines
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Oscar Martinez
Michael Scott
Jim Halpert
Michael Scott

Scene 26

9 lines
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax
Michael Scott
Holly Flax

Scene 27

4 lines
Dwight Schrute
Angela Martin
Dwight Schrute
Angela Martin

Scene 28

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 29

1 line
Darryl Philbin

Scene 30

10 lines
Michael Scott
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Darryl Philbin
Michael Scott
Darryl Philbin
Jim Halpert
Darryl Philbin
Michael Scott
Creed Bratton

Scene 31

16 lines
Darryl Philbin
Jim Halpert
Darryl Philbin
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Darryl Philbin
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Darryl Philbin
Roy Anderson

Scene 32

6 lines
Kevin Malone
Michael Scott
Kevin Malone
Michael Scott
Kevin Malone
Michael Scott

Scene 33

1 line
Hank Tate

Scene 34

13 lines
Michael Scott
David Wallace
Michael Scott
David Wallace
Oscar Martinez
Michael Scott
Bob
Guy in audience
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Guy in audience
Michael Scott

Scene 35

9 lines
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute
Phyllis Vance
Dwight Schrute

Scene 36

1 line
Dwight Schrute

Scene 37

15 lines
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson
Jim Halpert
Roy Anderson

Scene 38

1 line
Jim Halpert

Scene 39

42 lines
Bob
Michael Scott
Everyone
Michael Scott
Stanley Hudson
Michael Scott
Phyllis Vance
Michael Scott
Bob
Michael Scott
Bob
David Wallace
Michael Scott
Andy Bernard
Angela Martin
Andy Bernard
Angela Martin
Bob
Michael Scott
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott
Bob
Michael Scott
David Wallace
Michael Scott
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott
Bob
Michael Scott
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott
Bob
Michael Scott
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott
Bob
Michael Scott
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott
Bob
Dwight Schrute
Michael Scott

Scene 40

1 line
Jim Halpert

Scene 41

1 line
Michael Scott

Scene 42

1 line
Holly Flax

Scene 43

1 line
David Wallace