Scene 013 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey Oscar, big Will and Grace fan huh?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: No. Everybody assumes I am. I always get them as gifts.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh.
Scene 021 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: Dunder Mifflin is having our first own garage sale. Like many Americans, we realized we had a lot of things that we really didn't need. And 10 cents of every dollar is going into the party fund so we can throw parties for ourselves.
Scene 0313 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: People! Look alive. It's showtime. Doors open in 3...2...1.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, yikes.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: It's cold Dwight. Just shut the door and let people come in the front.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: It's good that its cold it will drive business inside.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: The signs will drive people inside.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: The warmth will lure people inside.Andy BernardOpen quote: Close it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: This is how business...Andy BernardOpen quote: Close it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I'm not closing the door.Andy BernardOpen quote: Close it. (starts wrestling Dwight)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Stop it.Andy BernardOpen quote: Just close it.
Scene 043 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Uh oh, looks like someone's sign is a little crooked. Uh, looks awful. Need a thumb tack?Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Sure.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Not so fast.
Scene 051 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: Schrute's are farmers by hobby, and traders by trade. Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of this garage sale with the finest item here.
Scene 065 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: I will trade you for the used candle.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Forget you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Come on, its trash, like your sign, unless you have this.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Fine, just give it.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: That's how it's done.
Scene 0720 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Woah, I love her. How much for that?Michael ScottOpen quote: I uh... I actually don't know why I brought that because It's kind of priceless.Holly FlaxOpen quote: 10 dollars.Michael ScottOpen quote: Mhmm, no I paid 500 dollars for that.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: 200.Michael ScottOpen quote: 500.Holly FlaxOpen quote: 20.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: 45.Michael ScottOpen quote: Get lost.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Damn it.Michael ScottOpen quote: That is how you do it.Holly FlaxOpen quote: You know we don't have to sell that if you don't want to. If it's a problem with the neon I can have my neon guy take a look.Michael ScottOpen quote: You know it's really more for a bachelor pad. I just want to get a fair price.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Well we could put it in storage... in case.Michael ScottOpen quote: In case... in case of what?Holly FlaxOpen quote: You know... in case if something changes.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't have an in case. Do you have an in case?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Nope.LadyOpen quote: How much for the slip and slide?Michael ScottOpen quote: Get lost.
Scene 081 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: (on phone) Yes, hello Mr. Flax this is Michael Scott, your daughter's boss. I am calling because I am going to have to fire your daughter Holly because she is such a terrible employee. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm actually calling because I'm in love with her. I love your daughter, and I have for some time. And I would like to discuss my intentions with you... which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping you would give me your approval. And this isn't a joke. So call me back, when you get this. And I look forward to speaking. Thank you.
Scene 096 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: Are you serious? A half used candle? Get out of here Dwight. You're blocking my table with your giant body.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, cause there's a huge line of people waiting in line who want your spinster chotskies.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Screw you man. People like my stuff.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: People like Ryan? Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over and you're like 'Hey baby let me light a candle' then you pull out this one half used and he's like 'Uh! Who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast.'Kelly KapoorOpen quote: You can take my Helen Fielding collection.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: And the Jennifer Weiner collection.
Scene 1011 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: Oh my gosh, you have the Dallas board game?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yea when I was a kid I was on Dallas.Andy BernardOpen quote: Really?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yea. When I was kid we missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii... I was in heaven.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: We should play it.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well... there's no instructions.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: It's Dallas the game, we can figure it out.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yea.Andy BernardOpen quote: I'm pretty good at board games.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Well, shall we make it a little interesting?Andy BernardOpen quote: Sure.
Scene 119 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: What is this?Jim HalpertOpen quote: How did those get out? I'm sorry.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I was in Jamaica, and I got lost, and it was getting dark this one night and then out of nowhere with a cart and he's selling these. Dwight he's telling me things about myself that there's no way he could have known.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: That's a common swindlers trick.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Probably, probably. So I buy some, I turn the corner, I feel like an idiot, so I go back to get my money, he was gone.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: So you wanna sell me magic beans. (laughs)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Correction. I do not want to sell you Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Nice try. No. Correction. Terrible try.
Scene 1219 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: Michael called Dad?Holly's MomOpen quote: Your friend Michael, yes. What's going on?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Um, I think I know. But I'll sound stupid if I'm wrong but is Dad there?Holly's DadOpen quote: Holly?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Hi Dad.Holly's DadOpen quote: There was a program on TV about India.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Um, ok. Did you connect with Michael?Holly's DadOpen quote: Wanna watch it?Holly FlaxOpen quote: I... I'm not there Dad, I'm in Pennsylvania.Holly's DadOpen quote: What are you doing there?Holly FlaxOpen quote: I live here. Um, can I talk to you about Michael?Holly's DadOpen quote: I'll, I'll put your mother on.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No. No... no Dad.Holly's MomOpen quote: Holly?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Mom, Dad can't seem to focus on a subject.Holly's MomOpen quote: Don't you worry about him, he's got me.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Well who do you have?Holly's MomOpen quote: I have your father. He's right here I'll put him on.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No. Mom?
Scene 1322 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Oh, which one is decaf?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (looks out window) Michael! Michael!Michael ScottOpen quote: Hi.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Hi.. I was just coming out to see what you were doing and to maybe stop you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, you know what, you have a siphon? I think I'm gonna run out of gas.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Why do you need more gas?Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, I'm writing a message.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Is it a good message or a bad message?Michael ScottOpen quote: I'm asking Holly a question in fire.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Are you proposing!?Michael ScottOpen quote: Maybe.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Wow.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey you know what? I've got gas all over my hands and my shoes. Would you light it? Would you do the honors please?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yea. Yea no problem. (runs away)Michael ScottOpen quote: Pam.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yep.Michael ScottOpen quote: Could you light this please?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Michael, you've had two ideas today. And one of them was great. And the other one was terrible.Michael ScottOpen quote: I am not in the mood for riddles pam.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: This is terrible.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, this is romantic.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You know what? I'm gonna get a hose. Then we'll talk about it. Ok we'll figure it out. Be right back. Just stay there.
Scene 151 lineRyan HowardOpen quote: My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her 'Mom you should sell this, you'd make a fortune' and she always says 'No it's just for family.' Well finally I was like f*** it, I'll sell it so I'm like 'Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends' and she's like 'uh, ok' ... pesto party? Really? Anyway... she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis... just had that mom look I wanted.
Scene 165 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: You got this kosher certified?Ryan HowardOpen quote: No I meant like uh, it's cool, its kosher, it's all good.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects. (laughs)Ryan HowardOpen quote: Thank you. Whatcha got there?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, its just Stanley's old photo album. I'm thinking about throwing it in the garbage. I mean, why would I want some random black mans old photo album on my bookshelf. I'm not James Franco.
Scene 171 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: things are going very well. I traded a thumb tack for Meredith's junk for Kelly's crap for Phyllis' garbage for Oscars trash for Stanley's garbage for Ryan's junk for Creed's garbage for a very cute squid that Erin happened to have.
Scene 184 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: Jim, put those away.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (pulls away beans) I'm really sorry. Pam must have put those out.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: just out of curiosity, what were the claims for those beans?Jim HalpertOpen quote: They're legumes Dwight, and you're just gonna make fun of me, so why would I... You know what, this ends now. (crumples up beans, stomps on them, and throws them in a box)
Scene 194 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Hey Michael everyone's in the conference room.Michael ScottOpen quote: Why?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You called the meeting I don't..Michael ScottOpen quote: I did?
Scene 2015 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Ok. Thank you all for coming. I would like to talk to you all today about... recycling.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: We are a family.Michael ScottOpen quote: I could not have agreed with you more.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: And I've always believed that we should all be involved in everyone's personal lives, in a very major way.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes. Thank you.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: So about this proposal thing...Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, no, no. My minds made up I am not going to change my mind you can't talk me out of it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Michael, she's perfect for you.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: She's the one.Jim HalpertOpen quote: She's amazing. This is very exciting.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: So we just... we wanna help you plan the proposal so that it's safe and responsible and realistic and doable.Michael ScottOpen quote: I had a great idea until you ruined it.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Wanna know how to do it? Here's how you do it. Take her out to dinner. Go down on one knee. If you are in costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a dogs collar, stop, and look at yourself.
Scene 2116 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: (playing the Dallas board game) Hmm, I'm gonna play me a little ol' black mail card .Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Nice.Andy BernardOpen quote: And call a proxy meeting to take control of you and oil once and for all.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: No you cant do that. You cant play a black mail card and call a proxy meeting in the same turn.Andy BernardOpen quote: Why not. Seems to me we're just making up rules cause somebody forgot to staple the rules to the inside of the game like a normal human being.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: And I'm gonna play this here share the wealth card.Andy BernardOpen quote: Oooh.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Which entitles me to half of both of y'alls money so if you don't mind.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: no this card is from the wrong game this is from the game of life.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: It was in the box.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well played.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Thank you.Andy BernardOpen quote: We must honorably adhere to the rules we are making up on the spot.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: No but that's not fair.Andy BernardOpen quote: Well that's Dallas.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Dallas indeed.
Scene 221 lineOscar MartinezOpen quote: What... Ryan, where did you get this picture? (a picture of Oscar on Ryans bottles of salsa)
Scene 247 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: This is your moms old stuff?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Yeah mostly.Holly FlaxOpen quote: How's she doing?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: It didn't go down so easy but she's made some friends and it's already better than it was.Holly FlaxOpen quote: How do you know when its time?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Uh I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent to comes to you and says 'I cant take care of myself anymore' its never gonna happen. I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Let me see.
Scene 2526 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: Ok I think animals and proposals are out. Right Ryan didn't you read in one of your blogs that animals are out?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Blogs are out but people are texting each other no more animalsMichael ScottOpen quote: How about this I throw a corpse dressed like me off of the roof, it hits the ground, the head pops off, this leads me to the line ' I lost my head when I fell in love with you.'Jim HalpertOpen quote: That's a guarantee.Michael ScottOpen quote: It's easy enough to get a corpse, you just go to a med school. I already have the ring.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Don't think you need the corpse then.Michael ScottOpen quote: Heres the ring.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Holy s*** is that real?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah. I saved 3 years salary.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: No. (shakes head back and forth)Michael ScottOpen quote: Is she not going to like that?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No she's going to love it so I think you can keep the proposal simple. You know like when Jim proposed. He just he got down on one knee and he told me that he loved me and he asked me to marry him and it was perfect.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Where was that.Jim HalpertOpen quote: At a gas station. (oscar laughs)Michael ScottOpen quote: At a gas station?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh it was when she was working in New York so it was halfway between both of us.Michael ScottOpen quote: That mush have been a surprise when... at the gas station you proposed.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: No it was really it was really sweet. It was raining and..Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh yea you didn't say that the weather was bad that sounds perfect. I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Totally reasonable.Michael ScottOpen quote: I just... it's terrifying.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: She's not gonna say no.Michael ScottOpen quote: I know but I'm still scared I don't know why.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Cause it's a big deal. I mean.. I knew Pam was gonna say yes but I was still scared.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You were scared?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah... it.s scary.
Scene 2615 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Get this... Kevin thought I was gonna sell my Bowflex for 200 dollars and I told him 'Dude this was a prop in my movie.'Holly FlaxOpen quote: Look I need to talk to you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok it's because we haven't sold anything. You know what? We just wait until the end of the day, people get desperate, and they're gonna pay anything.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I think I need to go home to Colorado. My dad isn't doing so well.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh ok. For how long?Holly FlaxOpen quote: I don't know.Michael ScottOpen quote: Is he alright?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yeah.Michael ScottOpen quote: You ok?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yeah, yeah it's just you know I don't want to go home when he's on his death bed you know, I wanna be there when he's still my dad.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, yeah well you definitely need to do that.Holly FlaxOpen quote: And I want you to come with me. Now I know that's a lot to ask of a boyfriend..Michael ScottOpen quote: Ok.Holly FlaxOpen quote: And I was thinking... you know maybe since given our last conversation that we're both ready... Michael Scott will you..Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, shhhhut it. Mhmm. Oh God. Nope, nope, nope.
Scene 281 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: No. I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. Mhm hm. Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.
Scene 297 linesKevin MaloneOpen quote: Hey guys it's my turn.Andy BernardOpen quote: You cant go, you're dead, I shot you 5 moves ago.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Yeah I told you, you can't shoot people.Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: I told you we're way past rules. We have been for some time now. We start having rules now, everything we built collapses.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: This is stupid and I want my money back. Where's the money?Darryl PhilbinOpen quote: Yeah where is it?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: Ok you know what? I am never ever playing board games with you two again.
Scene 3112 linesRyan HowardOpen quote: Nice.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Not bad right. (swinging golf club)Ryan HowardOpen quote: Can't really tell the...Jim HalpertOpen quote: (to Dwight) Nice.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I know right...(sees Jim's beans) what the?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh my God.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: That... that's impossible.Jim HalpertOpen quote: It is right. I mean, it's impossible.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: All right, I'll take them.Jim HalpertOpen quote: They're probably worthless.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Probably. (walks away with beans)Jim HalpertOpen quote: Leave the telescope.
Scene 321 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: I started with a thumb tack and traded my way to a telescope. But in a way the most valuable thing here wasn't the telescope at all. No, it was this... packet of beans. So I traded the telescope for it. And I can just go buy another telescope.
Scene 337 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hey, how'd we do?Holly FlaxOpen quote: 13 dollars.Michael ScottOpen quote: That's great and we still have most of our stuff. Good.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Listen about earlier ...Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, no, no, lets not talk about that.Holly FlaxOpen quote: It was wrong to put you in that position and... Michael you are my life now. I'm not going to Colorado.Michael ScottOpen quote: Shhhh. Let's go on a little walk. You know what? I wanna show you some stuff.
Scene 343 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: So this is one of my favorite places in the world.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Why?Michael ScottOpen quote: This is where Toby announced that he was going to Costa Rica. Happiest day of my life. Until the day you came to replace him. Let's go in here.
Scene 354 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: This is where we first kissed.Holly FlaxOpen quote: I remember.Michael ScottOpen quote: And this is where we first made love. Remember what I tried there?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Michael.. (they both laugh)
Scene 363 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Through these blinds is where I first saw you, and you had all these boxes, and I thought you were the prettiest mover I had ever seen. And I was sitting at this desk when I called you to tell you that I had herpes and that I was still in love with you and you said that it was over, and that you didn't love me. Thank goodness none of that was true. Including the herpes.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Yes.Michael ScottOpen quote: In-grown hair.
Scene 375 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Right in here... this is where we first co-ran our meeting. Remember, obesity awareness?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Mh hmm.Michael ScottOpen quote: We saved a lot of lives that day. That's where you first met Michael Klump.Holly FlaxOpen quote: Oh, I say, I say, I say I sit on you!Michael ScottOpen quote: And right over there is where you found out that Meredith was prostituting herself for Outback steak. And I will never forget that you had the cutest look on your face because you couldn't believe it, you thought it was so wrong.
Scene 385 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: And over here..Holly FlaxOpen quote: What happened here?Michael ScottOpen quote: Well, nothing. Nothing really. I would just find an excuse to come here so I could stare at you through that window. This is what I'd do. (runs water through hand)Holly FlaxOpen quote: NiceMichael ScottOpen quote: Let's go in here.
Scene 3929 linesHolly FlaxOpen quote: (everyone in the office is standing in the kitchen with a lit candle) Hi guys.Michael ScottOpen quote: This is where our love faces its toughest test. After this, its just smooth sailing for the rest of our lives.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Holly, will you marry me?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Stanley HudsonOpen quote: Marry me Holly.Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: That guy's got more than he can handle as it is.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: Will you marry me?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: That marriage would be a sham.Gabe LewisOpen quote: Will you marry me?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: Easy no.Angela MartinOpen quote: Will you marry me?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: That would be hot. I would pay to see that.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Will you marry me Holly?Holly FlaxOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: Only one that I was kind of worried about.Michael ScottOpen quote: (the area where Holly's desk is is filled with lit candles) This is where I fell in love with you. And this is where I ask you to marry me. It started with.. (fire sprinklers go on) Holly Flax, marrying me will you be?Holly FlaxOpen quote: Your wife becoming me will I. (everyone in the kitchen starts cheering, then enters annex)Kevin MaloneOpen quote: That's awesome!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Congratulations!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Congratulations!Michael ScottOpen quote: Thank you. So guys, guys, guys. We're moving to Colorado.Kevin MaloneOpen quote: All of us?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yep.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Wait, what?Michael ScottOpen quote: Holly has to go back to Colorado. I'm going with her. I'm leaving.