Every line from The Office episode "Classy Christmas", season 7 episode 11.
Nate Nickerson: Got it. (taking a group photo outside)
Pam Beesly: Okay let's go in. I'm freezing.
Michael Scott: People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim Halpert: One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam Beesly: Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin Malone: Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'.
Andy Bernard: Let's just jump in the air!
Michael Scott: That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go.
Nate Nickerson: One, two, three. (everyone jumps at different times) Not everyone jumped.
Michael Scott: Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go.
Nate Nickerson: One, two, three. (everyone jumps) Still some people not jumping.
Jim Halpert: You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight Schrute: I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis Vance: I am jumping.
Phyllis Vance: Yes, I'm jumping.
Dwight Schrute: Let me see you jump. (Phyllis barely jumps) Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
Pam Beesly: I'm freezing.
Nate Nickerson: Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin Hannon: I didn't want to miss it.
Andy Bernard: Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar Martinez: Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott: Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Michael Scott: I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate Nickerson: Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, (some people jump) two, (others jump) one, (others jump) zero. (everyone begins to yell)
Michael Scott: We didn't get it.
Michael Scott: Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little children! (dressed as Santa)
Everyone: Merry Christmas.
Michael Scott: How's everybody doing today?
Michael Scott: How's the party coming along?
Michael Scott: Are we over budget?
Michael Scott: No? Good. Did anyone get drunk already?
Meredith Palmer: Not yet!
Michael Scott: Good for you. Angela, lay it on me. What's the problem?
Angela Martin: Nothing. Should be fun.
Michael Scott: So Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today?
Stanley Hudson: (cheerily) Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine.
Michael Scott: Alright. Well, I will be in my office making toys for the good children. Andy?
Michael Scott: Whatcha got?
Andy Bernard: All good, Santa.
Michael Scott: Well, that's a relief. Santa's gonna take some much-needed free time. Alright. Good!
Kelly Kapoor: It's a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve.
Andy Bernard: Hello Kitty's for girls.
Pam Beesly: Nashua got mp3 players.
Phyllis Vance: Yeah, I don't even have a laptop.
Kelly Kapoor: I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white.
Dwight Schrute: Oh come on.
Kelly Kapoor: I said, "I wonder." I didn't say, "I think."
Gabe Lewis: Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets.
Kelly Kapoor: Blankets, what am I, five?
Gabe Lewis: Erin and I make great use of ours.
Jim Halpert: Hey, it's snowing.
Dwight Schrute: (mocking) Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful.
Jim Halpert: (Jim goes outside, makes a snowball, and brings it back inside) Hey, Dwight. (Jim throws the snowball at Dwight and everyone laughs)
Dwight Schrute: Damn it, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here!
Jim Halpert: Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right?
Dwight Schrute: Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You coulda killed me.
Phyllis Vance: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Stanley Hudson: Yeah, who's a little girl now? (everyone laughs)
Dwight Schrute: You apologize to me right now.
Jim Halpert: You've got something on your nose.
Dwight Schrute: You apologize right now.
Dwight Schrute: Very well, then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter.
Andy Bernard: That sounds awesome. Can we all do it?
Dwight Schrute: No, Andy, it's a snowball fight. It's not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it. (Jim continues to shake Dwight's hand) Jim, let go. Let go.
Pam Beesly: Before we kick off the party, I just want to remind everyone that an office party is just that...
Pam Beesly: A party. It's not an excuse to get really drunk or confront someone or have a cathartic experience of any kind.
Pam Beesly: Wow, there are, there are questions to that. Okay. Um, you know what, no questions. Last item on the agenda, Toby would like to make an announcement.
Toby Flenderson: Hi guys.
Toby Flenderson: Uh, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week.
Michael Scott: Uh, because you've been on the Lam? Because the 'boring police' have been after you, and they finally caught up with you?
Toby Flenderson: Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case.
Michael Scott: Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. Death to Toby!
Dwight Schrute: Death to Toby!
Toby Flenderson: Okay, that's hurtful talk. We've talked about that. You know, I don't interrupt your announcements.
Michael Scott: You know what you, you, you leave these huge pauses in your sentences. What do you expect me to do?
Phyllis Vance: What's the case, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case.
Andy Bernard: Is it criminal?
Andy Bernard: Have we heard of it?
Toby Flenderson: I don't know.
Dwight Schrute: Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave?
Toby Flenderson: Come on.
Meredith Palmer: Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail?
Toby Flenderson: Guys, it's a really big deal. (rubs his neck)
Ryan Howard: He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck!
Kelly Kapoor: He's rubbing his neck.
Ryan Howard: He's rubbing his neck.
Andy Bernard: Oh, Scranton Strangler! (all react)
Toby Flenderson: I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty. (excited outbursts)
Michael Scott: That was the worst joke ever.
Toby Flenderson: Corporate will be sending someone else to take my place for a while.
Michael Scott: Okay. Okay goodbye, goodbye.
Toby Flenderson: Uh, Holly Flax, she comes from the Nashua branch.
Michael Scott: What? What?
Toby Flenderson: Yeah, uh, she'll be starting next week. If you have any questions about the transition, just let me know.
Michael Scott: Hold on, Holly's coming back here?
Erin Hannon: Guys, who's Holly?
Michael Scott: That is a great question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe a part of my future?
Creed Bratton: She's one sassy black lady.
Michael Scott: Holly's coming back, everybody, and we have to have a party.
Gabe Lewis: I'm not sure the temporary replacement of an H.R. rep really warrants a party.
Michael Scott: You know what, we'll postpone this party until then. This is too important. Cancel this one. Dwight get rid of the tree.
Michael Scott: Cancel. We're canceling it. (Michael starts to throw away all of the food)
Angela Martin: No, don't throw those out!
Michael Scott: No, we have to cancel the party.
Angela Martin: We can save that.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, we're gonna get fresh for Holly. Fresh and new.
Andy Bernard: I bought these.
Andy Bernard: These cookies are fine.
Michael Scott: It's not. They're not. Fresh and new. Please let go. Please let go.
Pam Beesly: Michael, Michael, wait we don't have, we don't have the budget for another party.
Michael Scott: Well then everybody'll chip in, it'll be fine.
Pam Beesly: I honestly think you're idealizing people here again, Michael. I don't think that's gonna happen.
Michael Scott: You know what, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for the party. It doesn't matter. This is way too important. People, Holly's coming back, and this is the most important Christmas party of my life. So back to work.
Michael Scott: We have always had good Christmas parties here, as you know, but they've never been cool. (imitating Sean Connery) The name is Bond... Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan. Santa... wonderful tradition. Everybody loves Santa. Everybody can't get enough of the jolly old man. But that is a myth, because you know what, he is not necessarily a big fat guy with a beard. He's not necessarily an old guy. No one knows what the real Santa Claus... God! Ow! (camera pans down to Angela pinning Michael's pants)
Angela Martin: Just stop moving your calves so much while you're talking.
Michael Scott: Well, this year's gonna be different. We're gonna have fun. It's not gonna be tacky. It's going to be, you know what, the food is going to be austere. It is not going to be tacky, deli platter food. It's not gonna have a big, fat, gross Santa Claus. It's gonna be cool, sleek Santa.
Angela Martin: Maybe I'll bring my boyfriend. I'll invite him.
Michael Scott: Okay. Sure.
Angela Martin: I mean, unless there's any chance there could be press at this party.
Michael Scott: You never know about the press.
Angela Martin: Well, I only ask because he's a senator.
Michael Scott: Could he help us with some parking tickets?
Angela Martin: I don't think that's appropriate.
Michael Scott: Well, then he's not a senator.
Angela Martin: Yes, he is.
Pam Beesly: Hey, uh, any volunteers to come with me to go buy a Christmas tree?
Kevin Malone: I would, but I don't want to get dirty. There might be girls at the party.
Pam Beesly: Why do you always think that girls are gonna be at the party? No one invited girls. It's just us.
Andy Bernard: I will help. Although my 'brid', my hybrid, my Prius hybrid, won't fit a tree. Which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves on a daily basis.
Andy Bernard: I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup.
Pam Beesly: Oh, do you mean Darryl? That's a great idea. I'll ask him.
Andy Bernard: You know Darryl?
Pam Beesly: Yeah. He works here. We all know him.
Andy Bernard: I should come along, just 'cause he's my, you know, he's my hookup.
Darryl Philbin: Come on, now, Justine, look... Listen, look, I've been planning this, okay? You cannot do this, Justine.
Justine: (on the phone) I'm not doing it! She told me she wants to have Christmas here.
Justine: Yes. She wants to be around family for Christmas.
Holly Flax: Is there any way I can get a hand with these, please?
Erin Hannon: I'm really sorry, I can't help you. I'm waiting for my boss' pretty friend to arrive.
Michael Scott: There she is. Hey. Erin, would you help her, for God's sake?
Erin Hannon: Oh, you're Holly! Of course. Sorry.
Holly Flax: (weak Clint Eastwood accent) Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard.
Michael Scott: (imitating her accent) Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard.
Holly Flax: Well I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard.
Michael Scott: (as Curly) Why, you're some sorta wise guy, huh?
Holly Flax: (as Curly) I most certainly am.
Michael Scott: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Michael Scott: (as Homer) D'oh!
Holly Flax: (as Marge) Oh, Homey. (they both laugh)
Jim Halpert: Okay... Holly's back.
Michael Scott: Hi. Hi. Oh... (they hug)
Holly Flax: (in monster voice) Oh, huggy monster!
Michael Scott: Oh no, not the huggy monster! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! (both sigh) Wow. Well, everybody, you remember Holly.
Kevin Malone: Did you bring us anything from Nashua?
Holly Flax: Oh, yeah. I brought um, some maple candy. But I have to admit, I got a little hungry on the drive, and I ate some of them.
Michael Scott: That's adorable.
Holly Flax: Would you put those out?
Erin Hannon: To throw out? Or put out, like, six pieces for everyone?
Holly Flax: Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers.
Michael Scott: Well, you came on the day of our Christmas party.
Holly Flax: Oh, it's fabulous. I love what you did.
Michael Scott: Isn't it wonderful? We love it here. Don't you love it? All right, let me show you to your desk. (in a stereotyped Mexican accent) I show you to your desk.
Holly Flax: (in the same accent) Watch out for my guns they're both loaded. (makes gun noises)
Michael Scott: What kind of guns do you have? Six-shooter?
Holly Flax: It's a pea shoot...
Michael Scott: This is weird. I can't believe you're here. This feels like you never left. Doesn't it?
Holly Flax: Yeah, kind of.
Michael Scott: Oh, and you have a Woody. Bah! (the both chuckle) Oh, I love toy...
Holly Flax: AJ gave me that.
Michael Scott: Well, that's understandable. Still raw. Woody your favorite character?
Michael Scott: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom.
Michael Scott: Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie.
Holly Flax: That is a really good point. AJ said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies.
Michael Scott: You're kidding me. Ahh!
Holly Flax: No. I know. I was like, "What? Are you serious?"
Michael Scott: What a douche bag!
Michael Scott: Get a... yeah! Good riddance.
Holly Flax: We sat down and we watched them all in one day.
Holly Flax: Now he's the biggest Toy Story fanatic ever.
Michael Scott: Good for him.
Holly Flax: Next day I found him in my bed.
Michael Scott: Really? That's creepy. How did AJ get in your house?
Holly Flax: We live together.
Michael Scott: Oh, you do?
Holly Flax: He had a little note pinned to him that said, "You've got a friend in me."
Michael Scott: (fighting back tears) Yeah, Randy Newman's the best.
Holly Flax: Yeah. I love him.
Andy Bernard: (singing) Christmas tree, Christmas tree. Won't you be my Christmas tree.
Pam Beesly: Hey, how about this one?
Andy Bernard: Ehh, seems a little full of itself, right? Kind of a pretty boy? What if we got a really beat up one, like on Charlie Brown. And we just loved it for what it is?
Pam Beesly: Maybe. I mean...
Darryl Philbin: (on the phone) I just, no, she be talking to your mom or something. This is my daughter too, Justine! You seem to think, (Justine hangs up) oh... pick a damn tree already.
Pam Beesly: Um, hey, Darryl, listen, it's none of my business, but if I couldn't have Cece for Christmas, I'd be really upset too.
Andy Bernard: I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I'm going to kill myself.
Darryl Philbin: Jada don't want to spend Christmas with me. She told her mom it wasn't as much fun. And how could she say that? You know, I took her to the toy store to buy her own presents.
Pam Beesly: Well Darryl, no kid wants to buy their own Christmas presents.
Darryl Philbin: Her mom wants me to take her to mass. I guess that's something to do.
Pam Beesly: No, you should have her mom do the boring Christmas stuff on her time. You should be associated with the fun parts of Christmas.
Darryl Philbin: How do I do that?
Pam Beesly: Bring her to the party. Yeah, we'll have Santa, and we'll play games with her. It'll be a lot of fun.
Pam Beesly: You'll be Mr. Christmas by the end of the night.
Pam Beesly: Hey guys, the tree's here.
Andy Bernard: Nobody hug me, I'm covered in tree sap, so...
Oscar Martinez: Why would someone hug you?
Michael Scott: Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome.
Darryl Philbin: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: It's a sophisticated take.
Jada: He doesn't look like Santa Claus.
Darryl Philbin: No, he doesn't. (to Michael) I told her Santa would be here.
Michael Scott: Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled.
Pam Beesly: Who told you that?
Michael Scott: Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.
Phyllis Vance: So is it an open relationship?
Kelly Kapoor: Well, you're almost 40. Oh, do you not want kids?
Holly Flax: Oh, I want kids. I really want kids. But AJ and I are practically engaged. We talk about spending our lives together.
Kelly Kapoor: So where's the ring?
Pam Beesly: Kelly! Um, how are you adjusting to the move?
Phyllis Vance: Nobody cares about that. Look, you have to make him commit, or kick his butt to the curb.
Pam Beesly: You guys, I don't think any of us are really qualified to be giving Holly personal advice about her love life.
Erin Hannon: Yeah, I mean, maybe Holly's not in any position to be shooing guys away.
Pam Beesly: So, cool right?
Ryan Howard: There's no connection between the origin story and the quest.
Ryan Howard: We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise, it's the bear's quest.
Pam Beesly: Okay, well, I just sorta meant, like, cute, right?
Ryan Howard: Well, did you come here for help, or did you come here for me to tell you how great it is?
Pam Beesly: I mean, help, if it's something simple, like add page numbers or laminate it or...
Ryan Howard: Well, it sounds like you know what you want. (Pam walks away) It's also a little derivative of a serias called 'Bear Man'. Did you look that up?
Holly Flax: You guys, this has to stop. Someone could have really gotten hurt.
Michael Scott: What if Meredith was taking her smoking break below that window? You know what would have happened? The shards of glass would have shaved her face right off. And, yes, it might have been funny. But it also would have been incredibly tragic.
Dwight Schrute: I could not agree more. And just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim for acute psychological distress.
Jim Halpert: What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me.
Dwight Schrute: With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs? No. I thought we were just playing.
Holly Flax: Dwight's right. What you did was dangerous and inappropriate. I'm really surprised at you guys. Last time I was here, you were both best friends.
Michael Scott: All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. You see this on my desk? (he holds up a toy taxi cab) Know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City.
Dwight Schrute: Wait, what girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I haven't told you about her.
Dwight Schrute: I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit.
Michael Scott: I'm a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting. But you know what? I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is. So, anyway, we have this great weekend, and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK, but I am flying out of LaGuardia. So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around Slo-mo, drinking latte. And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says, "Michael, maybe next time, you should take a cab."
Holly Flax: I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: I do. She is.
Holly Flax: (walks in with a dirty Woody) Who did this? It's obvious to me I'm not welcome here, but somebody better tell me who did this, or else I'm leaving.
Phyllis Vance: Well, I don't think Erin seems to like you.
Erin Hannon: That's not true. I don't know her enough to make a decision even.
Michael Scott: What happened? What happened? Toby, what did you do? I think Toby's very jealous of all the attention you've been getting.
Toby Flenderson: No, I would never ever do anything like that. But it does seem like something you would do.
Michael Scott: Oh, really? Turn it on me. Well, isn't that nice? Thank you very much.
Kevin Malone: Wait, wait, guys, listen. Toy Story is all about toys that come to life when people aren't looking. You don't think... it's not possible... that Woody did this to himself.
Michael Scott: It is Christmas.
Angela Martin: No, it really seems like something Michael would do.
Michael Scott: Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Well, the fact that you would think that points to the possibility that it is probably not me. And that I have been framed.
Andy Bernard: Why would anyone frame you for that?
Jim Halpert: Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole "Woody came to life" thing so quickly?
Michael Scott: Ahhhhhh! (laughs) Surprise! It was part of the party. Pretty funny, huh?
Holly Flax: You think this is funny?
Michael Scott: (laughs) I don't. But someday I think we will laugh about this... when we tell our kids...
Jim Halpert: Yikes. (everyone gasps)
Kevin Malone: Oh no, that's, that's not happening.
Dwight Schrute: Dear God in heaven.
Michael Scott: All right. Shh. Okay, you know what? Holly, I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. An accident borne of jealous feelings.
Holly Flax: Michael, you have to let this go. I'm with someone else. I don't feel that way anymore.
Michael Scott: Oh, really? You certainly seemed jealous when I told you about my fake girlfriend. That's what Jim and Dwight thought.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, hey, hey, hey...
Jim Halpert: No, fake girlfriends are always wrong.
Holly Flax: You made up a fake girlfriend to see if I'd get jealous? And you destroyed a gift my boyfriend gave me? What is the matter with you?
Michael Scott: When you got transferred, and I drove you up to Nashua, you said, "Michael, I love you, but I can't do this." But then, with this other guy, you don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship, do you? And you know what, that is what is the matter with me.
Holly Flax: Michael, I'm sorry.
Michael Scott: And we did this whole stupid party for you.
Erin Hannon: (blocks Holly's path) No.
Holly Flax: You guys, it wasn't my fault.
Kevin Malone: Oh, nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!
Pam Beesly: Oh, my goodness.
Andy Bernard: I am the mean old grinch. The little girl who wishes to win back the Christmas star must first succeed at these challenges.
Darryl Philbin: Ohh, that sounds fun and Christmasy, you mean old grinch!
Jada: What kind of challenges.
Pam Beesly: Something like an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch?
Andy Bernard: No. You must answer topical political questions. How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number?
Andy Bernard: Do you know the other state?
Darryl Philbin: Maybe the grinch hid the Christmas star, and we could ask for clues, and he'll tell us if we're hot or cold.
Andy Bernard: The star has been hidden. Is the little girl hot or cold? Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star is right behind her ear! (pulls star from coat and pretends to find it behind Jada's ear)
Darryl Philbin: And the game's over seconds later.
AJ: I'm, uh, I'm AJ. I'm here to see Holly. It's kind of a surprise.
Erin Hannon: I know who you are, and I think you should go.
Kevin Malone: I bet you didn't even bring us anything, did you?
AJ: Was I supposed to bring you guys something?
Holly Flax: What are you doing here? Oh, my God.
AJ: I wanted to see you. How are you?
AJ: Oh, God, you look great.
Holly Flax: Oh... when did you get here?
AJ: Just now. Hey, Michael.
Michael Scott: Nice to see you again, AJ. Welcome.
AJ: Pleased to see you. Thank you.
Michael Scott: Good trip down?
Michael Scott: Good, good. Good to see you. Have fun. Enjoy the partay.
Angela Martin: I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation.
Kevin Malone: Wow, that's awesome!
Oscar Martinez: A real David and Goliath story.
Robert California: I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work.
Meredith Palmer: The real problem is the teachers' union.
Angela Martin: Zip it, Meredith.
Meredith Palmer: No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.
Ryan Howard: Hey, who's in charge of making drinks around here? Is there a bartender?
Angela Martin: You are. You make your own drink. (Ryan groans)
Oscar Martinez: I'll make it. What are you drinking.
Ryan Howard: An 'F' train to Brooklyn. Extra bitters.
Oscar Martinez: I don't know how to make that.
Ryan Howard: Okay, well, I'll just stick with my mojito.
Angela Martin: And you know those annoying geese at the park? Well, he's helping eradicate them as well. I mean, I think they've really become a pest.
Meredith Palmer: Annoying.
Pam Beesly: Michael, wait!
Michael Scott: Oh, hey, hey, no, don't run. You're gonna slip.
Pam Beesly: That's good advice.
Michael Scott: Yup. I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice, and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died.
Pam Beesly: That's a sad story.
Michael Scott: (voice breaking) Yeah, well, at least he was married.
Pam Beesly: Oh, okay, Michael, slow down. Everything's gonna be okay.
Michael Scott: No, it's not. It's not. Oh, man, I can tell you confidently that it is not gonna be okay.
Pam Beesly: I shouldn't tell you this, but... AJ won't commit to Holly. And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her by the end of the year, it's over.
Pam Beesly: Really. And I don't know about you, but I don't know of a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum, do you?
Pam Beesly: So just be patient.
Michael Scott: Yeah. I mean, I can wait till then. Come here. I don't want you to fall.
Michael Scott: I was in the mall, and I saw that, and I thought it had your name written all over it.
Kelly Kapoor: Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me.
Michael Scott: No, that's not... no, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you.
Kelly Kapoor: Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt.
Michael Scott: (hands Kelly a receipt from his wallet) From the mall. That...
Kelly Kapoor: This is a fast food receipt from April.
Michael Scott: Well, that...
Kelly Kapoor: God, how many number nines did you order?
AJ: Is everyone here kind of mean?
Holly Flax: Oh, I think everyone's on edge because of the strangler trial.
Holly Flax: Hey, I'm so glad you came down. It's been so much harder than I expected.
AJ: Hey, what happened to Woody?
Holly Flax: Oh, okay, get ready for this. You're not gonna believe it. I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing. I mean, there was salad dressing all over him.
Holly Flax: It was blue cheese dressing.
Pam Beesly: Hey, sorry. I'm ready.
Jim Halpert: I don't want to go.
Pam Beesly: Oh... come on, bear man. Come on. (the lights flicker)
Jim Halpert: Have you ever seen 'em do that? (walk outside and the parking lot is covered with snowmen)
Pam Beesly: I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Jim Halpert: No, it's, it's okay. Okay.
Pam Beesly: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no.
Jim Halpert: Okay. This is it.
Pam Beesly: What? What is it? What? What is, oh, my God! (Jim starts attacking snowmen) Honey? Jim? Jim!
I hope you enjoyed these classic quotes from The Office episode 11 season 7. Classy Christmas is such a great episode (like every episode of The Office), remember you can click the camera button next to any quote to generate an image of the quote. Go back to all episodes to see more scripts from The Office.