Scene 0125 linesAngela MartinOpen quote: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?Kevin MaloneOpen quote: (with mouth full) Yes.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerkie.Jim HalpertOpen quote: So why did you come in here?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: To socialize. And inform.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh brownies! I'm taking two so I can parcel them up and eat them at my leisure later on, much healthier.Ryan HowardOpen quote: You're taking two?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Yeah, um, but one of them is for Toby.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Um, I'm just gonna hand it to him right now.Michael ScottOpen quote: Heh, okay, weirdo.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Why is that, why is that weird?Michael ScottOpen quote: She said she was going to give it to him right now. (starts laughing)Jim HalpertOpen quote: (laughing) She's probably going to, cause they sit next to each other.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, they used to.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Toby works here again.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, can you imagine?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh no.Michael ScottOpen quote: Uhhgh.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You don't know.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't know. What?Jim HalpertOpen quote: You should probably just meander back there; take a look. See if he's, see if he's back.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hmmm, dare I? (laughs) You know what? I'm going to, for old time's sake. (walks to the annex, standing in Toby's cubicle) Great practical joke Jim, you got me to go to the annex. (turns around and sees Toby)Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Hi, Micha-Michael ScottOpen quote: NOOOO! GOD! No, God, please no! No! No! NOOO!
Scene 025 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: (watching Toby at Phyllis' desk through his office blinds) Look at him. With his stupid face. Stupid... tan. No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: He looks great.Michael ScottOpen quote: No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Well rested.Michael ScottOpen quote: He looks worse.
Scene 037 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: Michael, is everyone okay?Michael ScottOpen quote: Uh, well I'm afraid not. Toby Flenderson, of H.R., has made a sudden reappearance.David WallaceOpen quote: I don't understand, is anyone hurt?Michael ScottOpen quote: Not on the surface, no, but I can tell people are disturbed, David.David WallaceOpen quote: Michael, you texted me, 911 CALL ME.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes.David WallaceOpen quote: All in caps. Do you know what 911 means?
Scene 041 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I learned a while back that if I don't text 911 people will not return my calls. Um, but now people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened.
Scene 0516 linesDavid WallaceOpen quote: Now what I'm curious about is how you were able to go an entire a week without knowing a member of your staff was there.Michael ScottOpen quote: I did not want to go back to the annex because that is where Holly worked whom I loved.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Also, it's icky back there.Michael ScottOpen quote: That's true. People say it's icky.David WallaceOpen quote: Okay, I have to go.Michael ScottOpen quote: David, wait.David WallaceOpen quote: No.Michael ScottOpen quote: Is there no way we can get rid of him?David WallaceOpen quote: Not without cause, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: I have cause. It is be-cause I hate him.David WallaceOpen quote: You have to get along with Toby.Michael ScottOpen quote: No.David WallaceOpen quote: Yep.Michael ScottOpen quote: I don't.David WallaceOpen quote: Goodbye, Michael. (hangs up)Michael ScottOpen quote: (Dwight comes over, starts to massage Michael's shoulders) Don't do that.
Scene 061 linePam BeeslyOpen quote: (pours something from the fridge into a bowl and opens the microwave, it is covered in exploded food) Oh, come on! (to the documentary crew) Do you see this? Disgusting.
Scene 077 linesAndy BernardOpen quote: So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah, I am. Wait, how do you know that? I didn't tell you that.Andy BernardOpen quote: Ehhh no, I was just walking by your desk. I saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.Jim HalpertOpen quote: That's really not cool.Andy BernardOpen quote: Kaaw!Kevin MaloneOpen quote: So Jim, you're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah, I guess technically Kev, you're right.
Scene 081 lineJim HalpertOpen quote: Today's a big day. Today's the day that I show Pam the house that I bought for us. Without telling her. But it's my parent's house, the house I grew up in and yeah, I bought it kind of impulsively. I mean, the price was good and I was helping out my mom. It's got shag carpets. I mean you can't blame my parents it was the 70's. And why would you want to buy ugly wood from trees when you can have paneling? And a painting of some creepy clowns that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity of the building. (tugs and pulls in vain at the clown painting) She's gonna love it. Right?
Scene 099 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?Andy BernardOpen quote: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh thanks, Phyllis.Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Where's your place?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?Phyllis VanceOpen quote: Ohhh...Creed BrattonOpen quote: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Definitely we should.
Scene 1011 linesOscar MartinezOpen quote: (reading from a note on the microwave) "To whoever made the microwave mess: the microwave is a shared kitchen appliance. By not cleaning it up you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, disappointed."Andy BernardOpen quote: That is just obnoxious.Oscar MartinezOpen quote: No kidding.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah. Wait, what, the mess or the note?Oscar MartinezOpen quote: The note. So "holier than thou".Angela MartinOpen quote: Hmm, I liked it.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Don't you think the person who left the mess is the obnoxious one?Andy BernardOpen quote: No, the note is way more obnoxious than the mess.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Sincerely, disappointed? Get off your high horse, Richie.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Just because someone likes things clean, doesn't mean they're rich.Meredith PalmerOpen quote: Yeh, they're rich.
Scene 1115 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: You want to see some really high caliber acting? Well, Mr. Kurt Russell, you are about to be served. (walks to the annex) Hey Toby, great to have you back, man. Seriously, just a, just a real pleasure to see you again.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Well thanks Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: You're welcome. Missed you. Missed you as part of our family.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Well that's sweet, I missed you guys too.Michael ScottOpen quote: So Costa Rica that was - did you have fun? That must have been fun.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Well, um, it was amazing. It really was, thanks for asking. Um the beaches were pristine...Michael ScottOpen quote: Nice beaches, pristine beaches?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: ...and, yeah, the whole thing was incredibly cathartic.Michael ScottOpen quote: Why'd you come back? Why didn't you stay?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: It was actually kind of hard to meet people I found.Michael ScottOpen quote: I bet, for you.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: And uh, yeah, plus it was hot.Michael ScottOpen quote: (shifting uncomfortably and sweating) Shhh hot, why didn't you get an air-condition--- should have gotten an air-conditioner for yourself.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Are you all right, Michael?Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, I am. I am.
Scene 121 lineMichael ScottOpen quote: I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel like Neve Campbell in Sream II. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy and then, the murderer comes back and starts killing off all of her friends. I learned a lot of lessons from that movie, this is just one of them.
Scene 1317 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Okay, just summarize.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Okay, fireable offenses include: workplace violence and sexual harassment.Michael ScottOpen quote: That's it, that's it, perfect. We will get him to hit on somebody, and then we will catch him in the act.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.Michael ScottOpen quote: Mm. Me too. Okay, let's get this started.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Okay (stands up removes jacket and starts loosening his tie)Michael ScottOpen quote: What are you doing?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (removes glasses) I am the bait.Michael ScottOpen quote: For what?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Men find me desirable.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no, no.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh, it's a good day too. I'm wearing my mustard shirt.Michael ScottOpen quote: You're the bait for Toby?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Mmhmm.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, for one thing, he's not gay. And if somebody were to be bait it would be Jim. Or Ryan. Or me.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Men find me desirable.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, sure they do, Dwight.
Scene 1416 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: When it comes down to it, it's a health issue. I should have written that.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Mmhmm, yeah.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: (looks up) Why aren't you as mad or interested in this as me?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh totally. Sorry, are we talking about the microwave still?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Are you inching away from me?Jim HalpertOpen quote: No.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Reach your arms out.Jim HalpertOpen quote: (laughs and swings his arm out which doesn't come close to touching the reception desk) I'm always this close.Michael ScottOpen quote: Pamtown lady sing this song, doo-dah doo-dah. Hello, Pam. Jim may I have a moment with Pam please.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yes, I just have to take this call anyway so...Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh, oooh his mistress. No. I'm kidding. No one would ever cheat on you; you are the complete package, Pam.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: What do you need, Michael?Michael ScottOpen quote: Okay, what I would like you to do is take this folded note, and deliver it to Toby Flenderson? I just want you to just react to whatever this note elicits. Do not read it beforehand. Can you do that for me?Michael ScottOpen quote: Good. (Pam stands up and starts reading note) N-no no no, don't.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: "Please hug and kiss me, no matter how hard I struggle. I'm too shy to tell you that I love you."Michael ScottOpen quote: Pam. Pam, you gave me your word.
Scene 1530 linesRyan HowardOpen quote: (kissing Kelly against her desk) You did that for me?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Mmhmm.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Are you happy you did?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Hey guys that's really inappropriate.Ryan HowardOpen quote: (kisses for a little longer) What's up?Michael ScottOpen quote: Um, I got some photos from Costa Rica if you want to see them?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Yeah, yeah I'll see them.Michael ScottOpen quote: Toby can I see those? Ooh. (takes photos and throws them on the floor) What's the matter? What's the matter? You scared?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Those are fighting words.Michael ScottOpen quote: You mad? You mad at me?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: I hope he doesn't haul off and just hit you.Michael ScottOpen quote: Do you want to do that? You want to hit me, you want to punch me?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hmmm?Michael ScottOpen quote: Huh? He might do it...Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Punch him, Toby!Michael ScottOpen quote: I dare you to. Come on.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Come on. (making karate moves) Baaah!Michael ScottOpen quote: What's the matter... haaaww!Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hit him! Hit him, Chicken.Ryan HowardOpen quote: Yeah, punch him.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey hey! Come on, Ryan, who's side are you on?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Ryan. Come on, man?Michael ScottOpen quote: No do it, do it. I dare you.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Punch him as hard as you possibly can in the face.Michael ScottOpen quote: Not, not as hard as you can, just a good, solid punch. Come on! Come oooon...Toby FlendersonOpen quote: I'm not going to punch you, Michael.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Are you really not going to punch him?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: No, why would I punch you?Michael ScottOpen quote: Son of a bitch.Ryan HowardOpen quote: (as Toby picks up his photos) You should have hit him man, guy was asking for it. Once in a lifetime, man.
Scene 1610 linesDwight SchruteOpen quote: I thought you were going to parcel those out through the dayMichael ScottOpen quote: (mouth full of brownie) Just stop it. You haven't done anything helpful all day.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: There's still one thing we could do to get Toby fired.Michael ScottOpen quote: What's that?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (goes over and closes office door) Frame him, for using drugs.Michael ScottOpen quote: Frame him?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Yeah, it's illegal, but... everything they do on The Shield is illegal.Michael ScottOpen quote: I've never framed a man before, have you?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Oh I've framed animals before. I framed a raccoon for opening a Christmas present. And I framed a bear for eating out of the garbage.Michael ScottOpen quote: Just seems awfully mean. But sometimes the ends justify the mean.
Scene 1715 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Hello. I've seen you guys around. I'm Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin. How you doing? (they stare at him) Uhghh, so I guess you know why I'm here? I need to purchase something.Vance Refrigeration guyOpen quote: A fridge?Michael ScottOpen quote: No. Uh, I wanted--- I wanted to buy some weed? Some...Vance Refrigeration guyOpen quote: What?Michael ScottOpen quote: Grass, weed?LeoOpen quote: What makes you think we'd have weed?Michael ScottOpen quote: I heard you drug--- I heard you dealt.Vance Refrigeration GuyOpen quote: (whispers in Leo's ear) Hey, just hold on one second.Michael ScottOpen quote: I'm not wearing a wire, so...LeoOpen quote: Why would you even say that?Vance Refrigeration GuyOpen quote: (comes back up to Michael) Hey, that's gonna be 500 dollars.Michael ScottOpen quote: How much? How many pounds is it?Vance Refrigeration GuyOpen quote: It's- it's two pounds. I'm losing money on this man just, give me the money. Alright, walk away.LeoOpen quote: Walk away.Vance Refrigeration GuyOpen quote: Walk away.
Scene 1811 linesRyan HowardOpen quote: Hey, Pam? I just wanted to let you know; I'm totally on your side with the whole microwave situation.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Thank you.Ryan HowardOpen quote: I was just back there, to make some cup-o-soup; the thing is still a huge mess.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I know, can you believe it?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Yeah, it's crazy. But, I guess the thing is at some point, notes or no notes, someone's gonna have to just get there and clean it up.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I guess that's why we have a temp, huh?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Ah ha ha, oh no, trust me. I would just make it worse.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: How would wiping it with a paper towel make it worse?Ryan HowardOpen quote: I--- I would find a way.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You've seen things cleaned before though, right?Ryan HowardOpen quote: I--- Pam, I am hopeless at that stuff I... I, uh...
Scene 192 linesKelly KapoorOpen quote: Hi, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hey, hey, hey. Hey. I forgot... I forgot...
Scene 201 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: (on a cell phone in the hallway) Yes, I repeat a drug dealer is on the premisis of Dunder Mifflin. His name is Toby Flenderson (Michael opens Toby's desk drawer and puts something in it) and he recently returned from a mysterious vacation in Central America. I have risked a great deal to tell you this information. My name is Andy Bernard. Andrew Bernard, that's my name. See you soon.
Scene 215 linesPolice Officer 1Open quote: Hi, we received a call?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I don't know anything about that.Police Officer 1Open quote: We were tipped off about a possible narcotics situation.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Here?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Hey, Pam. Hey I got this, okay? Hello, officers, Dwight Schrute, former volunteer Sheriff's Deputy. Listen, I may have inside information that someone is hiding drugs in this very office. (leads them back towards the annex as Creed stands up and starts to put him hands up and then relaxes them behind his ears)
Scene 2353 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: Those are real cops, real guns. I wonder what's going on. (follows them)Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Officers, I reveal to you the perpetrator.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Hey, what is this?Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Search his things.Police Officer 2Open quote: Sir, can you step away from your desk please?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Why?Police Officer 2Open quote: Sir, please step away from your desk.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Hey, what's going on? You don't have my permission to do this.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: They don't need your permission, Flenderson, they've got the company's permission.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Hey, hey what are- why are you doing this?Michael ScottOpen quote: Uh, you know what? I think that this... uh, this is probably a misunderstanding.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Don't search my stuff.Police Officer 1Open quote: Sir?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: I have a reasonable right to privacy.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Save your whining for the jury there, Flenderson.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Michael!Michael ScottOpen quote: Yeah, let's just cancel this, okay?Police Officer 1Open quote: Sir, did you recently return from a trip to Central America?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Oh my God!Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no no no... No, no.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: That was... I went to Costa Rica for a few months. What is going on?Michael ScottOpen quote: No, that was... that was legitimate. That was totally legitimate.Police Officer 1Open quote: Really?Police Officer 2Open quote: Check this out.Michael ScottOpen quote: Oh God!Toby FlendersonOpen quote: That is not mine. I have never seen that before.Michael ScottOpen quote: No, no no no no.Police Officer 1Open quote: Turn around.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: What is going on here?Michael ScottOpen quote: God! No, that's not... I don't know what that is. And I... I bet he has nothing to do with that!Police Officer 1Open quote: Do you have any weapons?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Of course not!Michael ScottOpen quote: Ahh, that's mine.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: No! Michael, no!Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, it's mine.Police Officer 2Open quote: Some basil. Salad dressing, I think.Police Officer 1Open quote: Salad dressing?Police Officer 2Open quote: Yeah it's, uh, a caprese salad. There's a little bit of, uh, mozerella right there.Michael ScottOpen quote: Are you kidding me? That's my salad.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: So wait a minute, there's no drugs?Police Officer 2Open quote: No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Gahh, dammit! (punches file cabinet) Come on!Police Officer 1Open quote: We got a fake tip.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: Wait, officers, are you sure you don't want to interrogate him?Police Officer 1Open quote: No.Dwight SchruteOpen quote: (following them out) You have laws that protect you in any kind of interrogation. Why don't you use them?Michael ScottOpen quote: You must feel pretty good about yourself right now.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: I didn't put caprese salad in my drawer, Michael.Michael ScottOpen quote: Hmm.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Did you?Michael ScottOpen quote: Since when is it illegal to put caprese salad... anywhere.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: You know but the police could have been out there you know, catching real criminals instead of here searching my stuff.Michael ScottOpen quote: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me, that's who you're worried about? You're... you're worried about the cop's time? You think I framed you, and you're worried about the taxpayer? Dah, God! Welcome back, jerky jerk-face.
Scene 247 linesMichael ScottOpen quote: You said you were leaving and you made liars out of all of us. So...Toby FlendersonOpen quote: I did leave.Michael ScottOpen quote: Yes, you did. And then you came back, which makes you the biggest liar of... history.Toby FlendersonOpen quote: Well, I don't see it that way.Michael ScottOpen quote: Do you want to hear a lie?Toby FlendersonOpen quote: What?Michael ScottOpen quote: I think you're great. You're my best friend.
Scene 2510 linesRyan HowardOpen quote: (stops kissing Kelly) I can't do this.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Can't do what?Ryan HowardOpen quote: It's not fair to you. And it's really not fair to me.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Wait, what are you saying? I broke up with Darryl so I could be with you.Ryan HowardOpen quote: That was your choice; don't put that on me. I'm just going on a little trip.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Oh, can I come?Ryan HowardOpen quote: It's not that kind of trip. I'm going to Thailand with some friends from high school, well, a high school. And if I don't do it now I'll never get to go. And I'll always resent you for it... you don't want me to resent you, do you?Kelly KapoorOpen quote: So you're dumping me?Ryan HowardOpen quote: Let's be adults about this. Let's have sex one more time. And if you have any extra cash, that would be amazing.Kelly KapoorOpen quote: Okay?
Scene 263 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: (walking out of the building) Hey, do you mind if we make a stop on the way home?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Sure.Jim HalpertOpen quote: Cool.
Scene 274 linesPam BeeslyOpen quote: (getting out of the car) What are we doing at your parent's house?Jim HalpertOpen quote: I have a surprise for you. All right, ready? Close your eyes and now (spins her around once) open your eyes. Tadah!Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I don't get it.Jim HalpertOpen quote: I bought it. It's ours. Let's go inside, I'll show you inside. (walking inside) So if you can believe it I did it without a realtor. Saving on closing costs is good and, uh, we can put all the money to de-shag the carpet. Which I think will help, the color situation. (Pam walks over to the clown painting on the wall) Yeah, I am really sorry about this. I tried to move it but he is really nailed in there. Worried about art theft, I guess, lot of art theives in this neighborhood. (upstairs) This is the master bedroom but, I'm actually not allowed in here so... (shuts the door)
Scene 2813 linesJim HalpertOpen quote: (outside) So I'm still in the process of converting the garage. It's got great light in here and I'm thinking, it could be perfect (opens garage door) for an art studio. (Pam looks around and then looks at him) Look, I know, I bought this without asking you and it's doesn't look great, I know that. And if you really hate it, I totally understand it's just---Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I love it.Jim HalpertOpen quote: You do?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Yeah, I love it!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Really?Pam BeeslyOpen quote: I mean, you bought me a house!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Oh my God...Pam BeeslyOpen quote: You bought me a house!Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah, I did. (they kiss)Pam BeeslyOpen quote: Um, do we have to sleep in your parent's bedroom?Jim HalpertOpen quote: No, No, we'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about.Pam BeeslyOpen quote: And the clown?Jim HalpertOpen quote: Yeah, I can't... really can't move him.
Scene 291 lineDwight SchruteOpen quote: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
