Home / Season 3 / The Convict DUNDER MIFFLIN, INC. · Episode Transcript
The Convict Vol. 3 · Issue 9 The Office · NBC Scranton, PA
Prison Mike is in the building to warn everyone about the Dementors and the gruel. Every line from the episode is laid out here, from Michael's attempt to "scare you straight" to Andy’s unfortunate banjo serenade. It’s the full script for whenever you need to remember exactly what happened when the Stamford branch merger got a little more criminal.
Jim Halpert Open quote: She's... high-maintenance. Andy Bernard Open quote: I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell. Where I went to college. I live to frolf. Michael Scott Open quote: Ah. Good good. Good. Just a second. Everybody? May I have your attention please? I realize that a lot of you have already heard that Martin here has had some trouble with the law, but I just want to declare publicly that I... trust... him, completely, and that anybody who doesn't is an ignorant, dumb... person. Okay? As a matter of fact, you show me a white man you trust and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam. Tell me a white person you trust. Michael Scott Open quote: Okay! Listen up everybody! Um, you guys said that prison was better than this place, and I heard ya, loud and clear, so, I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison. We are going to start with an hour of outdoor time. So let's go! Michael Scott Open quote: Yeah, it's... freaking cold out here. Anybody wants to stay out, you've got about... twenty-seven minutes of rec time. Michael Scott Open quote: All right everybody, there has been a lot of name calling against our office today. Corporate maligning, slurring, much of it coming from one of you, who claims that prison is better... than... here. And none of can say "Boo" because none of us have ever been to prison. Well, there's somebody I'd like you to meet. Somebody else who has been to prison, who can tell you what it is really like (puts on bandanna) . I'm prison Mike! You know why they call me prison Mike?! Angela Martin Open quote: Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?